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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

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Original poster

Would you have appreciated or hated miscarriage info in early pregnancy?

23 replies

Ruggle · 21/12/2013 17:34

I'm currently 6 weeks pregnant following 2 miscarriages in the past 5 months.
After the first I asked a nurse why pregnant women aren't given any information on the risks of miscarriage and what to expect if it happens. "So as not to worry pregnant women unnecessarily..." was the answer.
This topic just came up on the pregnancy forum I'm hanging out on and I said I thought it would be a good idea if it was included in "pregnancy packs"...Seems I may be alone in thinking it would be a good idea. I just wonder what other ladies who have suffered a loss think about it. Would reading about it have made you worry more?
Really interested to know your opinions.

OP posts:

basgetti · 21/12/2013 17:40

I think it would be a good idea. I had a missed miscarriage a couple of weeks ago and to be honest I was shocked and unprepared. I had no idea how common they were, what signs to look for, how they are managed or anything like that. I got most of the information and advice I needed on these forums. They include information of everything else in pregnancy packs so it would make sense to include information on miscarriages since they are such a common outcome.

basgetti · 21/12/2013 17:45

Just to add that after my scan at the EPU they gave me a really helpful sheet on miscarriage management choices but by that point I was in a bit of a daze and upset so didn't take it all in. It would make sense IMO to put this sort of thing in the pack in the same way they put birth choice information in. That way I would have read it and have some idea of how I would want to manage it should the worst happen, rather than what actually happened which was having to make a quick decision with no preparation and then going home and panicking!

AMuppetChristmasCorral · 21/12/2013 17:46

I think some info in with the pregnancy leaflets etc that you're given at your booking appointment would be good; it'll help as many people as it worries. That way it's a 'this happens to some women, keep an eye out for...' sort of thing.

When I went to my GP post test to get booked in with the midwife etc she said the usual congratulations but then said (and I quote!) "Try not to get your hopes up though as about a quarter of pregnancies end in miscarriage these days"

I would much rather have had a nice "Just check out those leaflets for some of things that can happen"

ShoeWhore · 21/12/2013 17:49

What basgetti said - I was blissfully ignorant of the risks before I had my mcs. So when the first one happened I thought I must have something dreadfully wrong with me.

I don't know when I'd have liked the info though. Probably pre-conception if that were possible.

I don't think it helps that mc is so shrouded in mystery either. For that reason I have always been pretty open about my mcs - in the hope that none of my friends would ever have to feel so bewildered and alone.

ShoeWhore · 21/12/2013 17:51

Yes muppet maybe they could have a leaflet about early pg and things you might experience, when to worry and what's normal?

Mabelandrose · 21/12/2013 17:51

I think it would be really useful. People should be worried about misc - it is a very real risk. A simple card with the misc assossiations details would be helpful. Having said that I won't open a bounty pack until I know I have a healthy on-going pregnancy at 12 weeks.

lljkk · 21/12/2013 17:51

I would like info about it, for sure. Way too much silence about this and it's frightfully common.

eurochick · 21/12/2013 17:54

It's a good idea, but I think the booking in appointment would mean it is too late for many people. When I miscarried I wasn't on any system anywhere so no one would have known to give me any info.

Gileswithachainsaw · 21/12/2013 17:56

I think they should too. I had a threatened miscarriage and I had no idea what it was or what was happening. I was later diagnosed with an SCH. It would have been less traumatic certainly for me if someone had also given Information on what causes bleeding in pregnancy as well as miscarriage so woman don't automatically assume the worse if that makes sense.

I had to find it all out from the internet which gives all the horror stories.

Trinpy · 21/12/2013 18:01

I think it would be a good idea. Not just for practical advice but to get in their quick with the emotional support. Also useful for partners and the public in general to have more info available at home about mc.

MrsChristmasBungle · 21/12/2013 18:04

I would have preferred something but agree with euro. Many women aren't booked in until nearer 12 weeks which is too late for this type of information for a lot.

Maybe something the gp can give when you first get a bfp?

Original poster

Ruggle · 21/12/2013 18:18

Gosh, thanks for the quick replies!
Shoe, I am also quite open about my mmc and mc, as is my partner....and it seems that so many people we know have been through similar but said nothing until we mentioned ours. I mentioned to my dentist that I was pregnant so didn't want xrays and he askef if it was my first. I said it was my third pregnancy but hopefully my first baby, and he told me that he and his wife had lost a baby quite late term. I could tell it wasn't something he discussed often, but perhaps a relief to get it out. Poor guy!

Anyway, I was half thinking of posting a link to your responses on the thread I mentioned, but I suspect I would be vilified and accused of scaremongering (such is the way of the internet)...

OP posts:

Mabelandrose · 21/12/2013 18:42

No do it! It's just fact that one in four pregnancies end in misc. While my mw was very lovely and positive she did say things throughout the booking that gently suggested things could go wrong and 'wished me luck with my scan'. It helped having that little bit of doubt in my mind to keep me realistic about early pregnancy.

WaitingForPeterWimsey · 21/12/2013 19:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bakingtins · 22/12/2013 08:08

I think it would be good to have that info, but agree with eurochick that booking in is far too late. Apart from MMC picked up at 12 week scan most MC will have happened before booking appointments.
Booking is also a bit late to be giving out vitamins, telling you what not to eat and quite a lot of other things. Surely you need that info as soon as you are pregnant. What's needed is an early pregnancy pack with some info on miscarriage included, contact numbers for local EPAU etc.
It would also be good to have info on MMC in the booklet about scans/12 week NT testing. I think that must be the cruellest time to discover a MC when you've been stressing about Down's and probably never even considered that you could be throwing your guts up all day but baby died weeks ago.

Original poster

Ruggle · 22/12/2013 09:28

I got my "pregnancy pack" on my first visit to gp. It just had Emma's Diary and a few leaflets about tests and immunisations along with a bix of Pregnacare. Is that not standard? It's that pack I thought would be good to contain miscarriage info. I got it at 4 weeks. Seeing midwife on Tuesday, when I'll be 6+5, but last time I wasn't seen until 10 weeks. I guess it's different for self-referrals where you would skip the gp stage.

OP posts:

Original poster

Ruggle · 22/12/2013 09:29

*box

OP posts:

LightsPlease · 22/12/2013 09:36

Definitely I was shocked when I had my mc never knew was so common. Yet speaking to people after alot of people had also experienced but not said nothing. In fact fast forward two years I have more friends who have had losses than births and that is very sad.

DoctorDonnaNoble · 22/12/2013 09:39

I think what 's worse is the variety in care . My GP was worse than useless. I shall self-refer to midwives in future!

Shakshuka · 22/12/2013 14:02

I'd have liked info. I should have replied on the birth month thread! I bled in both my previous pregnancies, luckily no miscarriage, but I didn't know what to do. With my first, I want straight to the ER, total over reaction as I wasn't even 5 weeks. I got all my info from googling which isnt always the best. Sure, most pregnancies don't end in miscarriage but given that most women have more than one pregnancy, I know more women who have had a miscarriage than haven't out of close circle of family and friends.

Pawprint · 22/12/2013 21:36

No woman wants to hear about miscarriage in their pregnancy. I would have hated information about miscarriage. I was naive. I thought everything would be okay, but I was wrong. I miscarried four times. Nothing prepares you for the loss. Now I wish there was more information given to first-time mums.

GuffSmuggler · 22/12/2013 21:43

Definitely, as no-one seems to know about MMC until it happens to them and it was such a terrible shock finding out at the 12 week scan there was an empty sac and no baby. All I was told was if I was bleeding to call EPU. They need to explain you might not bleed and still MC, just so women are aware of the facts.

Skogkat · 22/12/2013 23:51

I think it would be good to have that info. I miscarried five times- two were very early- and I didn't recognise the signs for my first very early one, or for my first later miscarriage. It would have been useful and easier, and just generally better, to have been given more information.

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