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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Original poster

ERPC Tomorrow and scared. Please come reassure me.

26 replies

2beornot · 19/06/2013 19:53

Found out on Tuesday that my baby stopped developing at 8+5, about 4 weeks ago. I have decided to go down this route as I will go mad just waiting otherwise and I don't want to prolong the miscarriage.

But I'm scared. I'm scared it will hurt after. I'm scared i'll bleed lots anyway (part of reason I don't want medical management). But most of all I'm scared it will damage me somehow.

Please reassure me!!!

OP posts:
WouldBeHarrietVane · 19/06/2013 19:57

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Repeatedlydoingthetwist · 19/06/2013 20:00

Have my hand to hold.

I had one last year and I was just as scared as you, but honestly it turned out to be fine (well as fine as it can be in that situation)

I can only go by my experience but it really didn't hurt afterwards and the bleeding was probably about the same as a slightly heavier than normal period (and it wasn't heavy clotted blood, it was like if you cut yourself IYSWIM?) I was really scared that it was going to be really heavy but it honestly wasn't. I was in and out in about five hours, the only side effect was that I was v groggy from the GA.

It's not a nice thing to have to go through by any stretch of the imagination, but like you I didn't want the uncertainty of waiting for a natural MC. I think that having control over this decision certainly helped me in the grieving process. It felt like I'd taken a bit of control back over my body.

I know that nothing anyone says will make you feel better so have a covert hug from me x

Original poster
2beornot · 19/06/2013 20:22

Thank you ladies. I needed some positive (well relatively) stories. How soon were you feeling better and able to go out and about? I get the feeling I'll be good for nothing for a little while, but a friend is having a BBQ on sat at it'd be good to be around friends if I can. Plus is work on Monday likely?

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WouldBeHarrietVane · 19/06/2013 20:25

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Original poster
2beornot · 19/06/2013 20:38

Thank you. I'll think I'll take it as it comes and not pressure myself to do anything. Thank you x

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WouldBeHarrietVane · 19/06/2013 20:45

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Repeatedlydoingthetwist · 19/06/2013 20:45

In terms of physically being able to move about I'd say I was ok after a couple of days. Do your friends know what's happened? If so then maybe an hour or so at the BBQ would be a good thing for you. I was signed off for a week and a half after mine, I definitely needed it to try and feel stronger emotionally but just take it as it comes xx

itonlyhappenedonce · 19/06/2013 20:46

I had an ERPC on a Wednesday, had some discomfort for a couple of days (nothing strong painkillers couldn't cope with), not too much bleeding. I went back to work on the Monday and though psychologically I was quite rational about the mc, I felt very drained, spaced out and foggy for a good couple of weeks.

I don't think you can predict how you'll feel on Saturday to be honest. You might be desperate for the support of friends or you might need time to process the change from being pregnant to not pregnant. I'm very sociable but needed time by myself.

I conceived again about 6 weeks later and then very quickly another couple of years later. Both successful pregnancies.

All the best.

merrymonsters · 19/06/2013 22:39

I had two ERPC operations in 2006. It wasn't very painful (needed painkillers for a day or two - just period like pain - and not that much bleeding), but the general anaesthetic knocked me sideways for a few days. I wouldn't plan to go to work for at least a few days afterwards.

One of the operations was for a molar pregnancy so I had to delay TTC again for six months after both operations, but I had another child in 2007.

Good luck tomorrow. Personally, I think it's best to get it sorted quickly rather than waiting around.

Tomkat79 · 19/06/2013 22:39

So sorry you are going through this. It's such a tough time.

I had an ERPC 6-7 weeks ago now as like you didn't want to wait. I absolutely promise that there is nothing to be scared of. It's a very quick procedure and you will be ready to walk out very shortly after getting through recovery bay and having a pee. I saw the surgeon before the procedure and made it very clear to him that he wasnt to damage anything as I would be needing my uterus in the near future!

It's highly likely that whilst asleep they will give you a large dose of painkiller that will certainly see you through tomorrow. I had very mild discomfort on the 2nd day...just a little tender, but didn't stop me doing anything.

As others have said though emotionally it's a different story. My GP gave me 2 weeks off afterwards and I initially thought I didn't need that much time off. I was wrong. We needed all of that time to take stock of what had happened. It's such an emotional rollercoaster.

Please try not to panic about tomorrow. You will be in safe hands.

Will be thinking of you x

xXjunebugXx · 19/06/2013 23:27

I am so sorry tobeornot. I honestly found my ERPC the best thing. I was in agony before. I was a bit uncomfortable for a couple of days afterwards but I struggled more with just feeling tired and a little out of it due to the general opposed to physical pain. I think that was a good thing as I was just able to sleep. Not being awake through the early days of sadness helped. As the others have said the emotional side of things are the hard part. I'd take at least 2 week off work.

I hope everything will be OK for you xxx

cosmickitten · 20/06/2013 15:00

2beornot I'm so sorry for your loss.

I had a erpc on Friday and like you my baby had died at 8 1/2 weeks. Physically I felt a little uncomfortable but over the counter painkillers were all I needed to help with the pain.

I did feel able to go out for a meal for my brothers 21 st on the Sunday. But it was close family so I felt very supported. I'm feeling quite up and down with hormones at the moment and personally won't want to be at work this week. However it is different for everyone, take it day as it comes for a while and don't put too much pressure on yourself.

icklemssunshine1 · 20/06/2013 16:14

Really sorry you're going through this :(

I had an ERPC in Feb at 11 weeks. I returned to work 7 days later but that was only because emotionally I was a wreck when the hormon crash hit me 5 days post ERPC. Physically I was fine as soon as I came round from GA! Bled on & off for 2 weeks & AF returned 8 weeks later.

Hope you're looking after yourself.

Repeatedlydoingthetwist · 20/06/2013 18:13

Hope everything went ok for you today OP x

Original poster
2beornot · 20/06/2013 20:59

After going there today, saying bye to DH, changing into hospital gown & dressing gown and feeling the most alone I ever had the doctor came in and said that because they'd had two ectopic pregnancies I'd have to go back tomorrow.

I understand, but I was so upset. If it happens tomorrow I think I'll die.

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WouldBeHarrietVane · 20/06/2013 22:21

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Mummytothearkbuilder · 20/06/2013 22:25

2be - so sorry you are going through this hun.

I found the ERPC easier to deal with than the natural miscarriage I had.

I hope every goes okay tomorrow - will be thinking of you hun xxx

TheUnstoppableWindmill · 20/06/2013 22:30

Just wanted to add my love & best wishes. I've had 2 erpcs for missed m/c and have since had a little boy. I felt relieved in a way once they were over- a sense of 'getting control back' over my body. As others have said, the pain after was no worse than a period for a couple of days, and the bleeding too was not bad. I was physically out & about the following days (taking it gently) but of course emotionally it took longer to feel ok. I mostly just wanted to curl up & not speak to anyone for a while. Try to be kind to yourself, let yourself feel whatever you're feeling, and know that things will get better. I really hope all goes well tomorrow.

EthelredOnAGoodDay · 20/06/2013 22:40

Just to add to all the comments above, I had an ERPC about 18 months ago after a mmc, and it was fine. I was fine physically straight after and was signed off for 5 days, but actually went back after 3 days as I had a major deadline at work. The worst thing for me was waiting in hospital and because they kept getting emergencies in, I ended up being in hospital overnight and for 36 hours in total!!!! I held it together most of the time I was there, but I had a little cry with the theatre nurse and anaesthetist just before they gave me the general anaesthetic.
they will ask you to sign a consent form on the basis of the worst case scenario, but the most likely scenario is that it will all be done successfully and with no drama and you will be fine to try again when you're ready. I got pregnant about 6 months after the ERPC and now have a very happy 3 month old to go with my crazy pre-schooler.
Sending you a big big hug and hope it all goes well for you.

itonlyhappenedonce · 20/06/2013 23:13

So sorry to hear about today. Hang in there.

cosmickitten · 21/06/2013 09:23

2be I'm sorry that things didn't go as planned yesterday. That must have been so hard. Hope that everything goes smoothly today.

Tomkat79 · 21/06/2013 10:11

Hand holding today xx

Original poster
2beornot · 21/06/2013 19:00

Thanks for all your support ladies. I'm home now, feeling surprisingly ok, nauseous but no pain. Nervous just before anaesthetic and asked nurse for cuddle when I came round (really not like me!).

Thank you again.

OP posts:
OccasionalTherapy · 21/06/2013 19:07

Glad, you're home safe 2be...I had an ERPC last year and I cried all over the anesthetist prior to the op, I was convinced they were going to give me a hysterectomy (hormonal). Be kind to yourself and give it time x

Repeatedlydoingthetwist · 21/06/2013 19:49

Awww glad to hear you're home safe OP. Get plenty of rest and make sure you give yourself time to process what's happened x