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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

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Original poster

Sad day - gone from scan to waiting on ward for operation

37 replies

dorapeppageorgenoddy · 20/02/2013 19:13

Nothing really is going to help and I know most stories are sadder than mine as I have children - but sitting here on a ward waiting for an operation after a missed miscarriage - came in for a scan this afternoon thinking 11 weeks and it must have stopped at 7 Weeks - anyway sad and not much anyone can say but I'm reading mumsnet which is keeping me occupied while I wait to go down - husband gone home to get some stuff for me, I'm scared I won't wake up from the op and anyway just felt like posting -

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NigelMolesworth · 20/02/2013 19:18

Oh You poor thing. Someone with sensible thoughts and experience will come along in a minute but until then I'm sending you my love xxx

Antidote · 20/02/2013 19:19

Oh you poor thing. I hope you have someone with you soon. It's a really shitty thing to happen to anyone.

I had a horrible overnight wait for test results last year & MN was great at keeping me sane.

icklemssunshine1 · 20/02/2013 19:19

Don't be scared, it's just overwhelming. I'm in same position as you. Found out today I had a MMC at 11 weeks, stopped growing at 6, but I have to wait for another scan next week. Would love it to be over with. Hope op goes well so you can start the emotional recovery x

Antidote · 20/02/2013 19:20

And the worry about not waking up is very common, but anaesthetics are incredibly safe these days.

Original poster

dorapeppageorgenoddy · 20/02/2013 19:32

Thank you just sitting here crying in a gown waiting its horrid - I knew as soon as the first scan then it was so long doing another one and the nurse kept saying there maybe hope and I just kept saying can we stop saying and just say we are confirming now rather than hope when it was so obvious - at one point someone said its an old scan machine, it could be that!

Aghhhhh it's so horrid all you go through, each stage, can't fault the care - hate being on a ward though, I'm on an emergency list so waiting....

OP posts:

NigelMolesworth · 20/02/2013 19:37

We're all still here with you though. You just need to hang on in there. I think the waiting is always the worst bit.

NigelMolesworth · 20/02/2013 19:39

I just wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all ok for you. Chin up love.

ChristineDaae · 20/02/2013 19:47

So sorry your having to go through this. Hope you get seen soon

HumphreyCobbler · 20/02/2013 19:52

I am so sorry to hear this. I know it comes as a horrible shock.

You will be wake up after the op, I promise.

Original poster

dorapeppageorgenoddy · 20/02/2013 19:54

Thank you all - just had the anaesthetist round so should be happening tonight -

Just wish my normal and very nice husband was a bit more emotional - only time I've seen him cry was at Marley and me -

Thanks again for support and company -

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Original poster

dorapeppageorgenoddy · 20/02/2013 19:55

Ickle just read took in your post, sorry you have to wait :(

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dramajustfollowsme · 20/02/2013 20:03

Been there and it is horrible. Sending you lots of hugs. Your DH may not want to upset you more by crying. He might be trying to stay strong for you.

Bluemonkeyspots · 20/02/2013 20:04

Sending you lots of hugs.

Don't be thinking anyone's story is sadder to you, this is your story and that's all that matters just now.

My dh is like yours and when this happened to me it took the weirdest little comment to set him off.

Thinking off you.

PipsWife · 20/02/2013 20:05

In sept I was rushed for emergency surgery after scan showed ectopic- such a shock when you think you're just going for a scan and end up admitted! I've also already got a daughter and kept thinking thank god I've got one, but then it's also worse as you know how amazing it all is. Sorry rambling and hijacking your thread.
You'll be ok but nothing we can say will make it go away.
Take care x

Original poster

dorapeppageorgenoddy · 21/02/2013 03:30

Had the operation at about 10 and came round about 11ish - have been awake going over everything/anything since its half 3 now and the nurse is going to see if there is something she can get to help me sleep -

I just keep going through what I was doing at 7 weeks that may have contributed and how strange it is that your body lets you down - and why it would have let me believe I'm 11 weeks pregnant and not give any clues -

Thank you everyone that posted, I wish I was coming home with a broken arm or something visible to allow some time to be nurtured and cared about for something that can be talked about -

But as no one knows its just back to it -

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icklemssunshine1 · 21/02/2013 07:06

Hope the op went went in the physical sense & you have plenty of time to rest & recover. I know what you mean, apart from some light brown spotting (which I actually has with DD) I had no signs til my scan either. Just wish it was next Weds & have it all over with. Feels very strange that everyone's life is continuing normally but mine had changed dramatically in last 24 hours.

Take care & look after yourself x

Bakingtins · 21/02/2013 07:40

I'm sorry you've lost your baby. There is NOTHING you did at 7 weeks that caused your baby to stop developing, and your body hasn't let you down. Left to it's own devices it would at some point have recognised that the baby wasn't developing and started the process of miscarrying, in the meantime you were still protecting and nurturing. It is a horrible thing to happen but it is not your fault.
You will need some time to recover from this and the docs will sign you off for a while. Do tell a few people IRL, you need some support.

LizaTarbucksAuntie · 21/02/2013 07:42

Oh love, so sorry to see this.

Be kind to yourself x

Original poster

dorapeppageorgenoddy · 21/02/2013 07:45

Sorry you have to wait, can you phone your midwife and ask if you can get an earlier scan, if you explain your anxiety/feelings -? It maybe worth a try -

In terms of the physical op/feelings it's actually just small cramps at the moment and light bleeding - my mind was/is worse was awake all night just thinking and sad -

Good luck and pm me if you have any specific questions I don't mind -

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icklemssunshine1 · 21/02/2013 10:24

At the scan yesterday they said they needed to wait another week as a scan 10 days ago showed a heartbeat although it was measuring 6 weeks & I was adamant I was 10 weeks; they just said I had my dates wrong! They said a dr wouldn't do anything at moment without being 100% sure but I had a transvaginal yesterday & nothing was detected. So frustrated with these so called professionals.

Thank you for being so honest, will do with questions if you don't mind.

Will you be discharged today? Really hope you get some rest.

FunnysInLaJardin · 21/02/2013 10:34

sorry to hear this dora. I went though it twice and it is really not nice at all. Horrid shock the first time and it took me a few weeks to be able to function again. Look after yourself and hope you feel better soon

JuliaScurr · 21/02/2013 11:19

How are you doing?

Original poster

dorapeppageorgenoddy · 21/02/2013 16:52

I have come home now - feel and look pretty awful but home;

Surprised by the level of sadness and guilt and other thoughts - but physically ok -

Ickle; good luck and if any symptoms appear just go back -

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HumphreyCobbler · 21/02/2013 21:16

Glad you are home. Do hope you manage to sleep ok.

Original poster

dorapeppageorgenoddy · 22/02/2013 10:54

Just updating no need to reply just writing as this seems better than not writing -

I feel so empty and sad - this is half term and can't even imagine working Monday but least of my worries -

Sad to read how common this is - thinking we were 11 weeks and had made plans and then it's gone -

I know I have been lucky enough to have children but this sadness still penetrates deeply -

Anyway -I'm sorry to read more and more stories I didn't realise the frequency of a missed miscarriage and I hope everyone is ok and gets the answers they need this week -

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