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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

best way to end a missed miscarriage?

37 replies

eaglewings · 01/09/2011 16:01

depressing subject sorry. Just remember 3 out of 4 pregnancies make it!

Sadly it looks like mine is not, had scan 2,weeks ago that showed sac at 6 weeks not 9 as it should have been. Back tomorrow to see what has happened, been warned it is unlikely baby will have grown and that it is mmc.

Having not started to bleed yet I expect to be offered a medical or surgical option. Question is which I should push for.

Have 2 school aged kids who start back Tuesday and Wednesday, one with SN. What would upset them least?

Thanks

OP posts:
shushpenfold · 01/09/2011 16:07

Hi

Sorry that you're going through this. I had a D&C with mine - didn't bleed naturally for 5 weeks (I didn't know about the MMC - found out at the 12 week scan) I would rather have had the D&C just to know that it was all over to be honest. I didn't have kids at the time but I can't imagine the bleeding with 2 kids around, and the D&C can be planned and arrangements made for their care. Take it easy, x

mardarse · 01/09/2011 16:13

Hi Eaglewings,

So sorry you are having to go through this, it's rotten. I had an ERPC too after my MMC as my body seemed keen to hold on to the pregnancy and I just needed some closure and control over the situation. It was very quick and straightforward, arrived at hospital at lunchtime and was discharged at tea time. I have a lively toddler at home and apart from being tired from the GA, I felt fine the next day and very little bleeding after that. I know ERPC isn't for everyone but it was def best decision for me.

Look after yourself.

harassedandherbug · 01/09/2011 16:18

Eaglewings, I'm so sorry to hear your news.

I had a mmc in Jan and a mc in March, and I'd def go with the erpc. I was measuring 7 wks and should have been 10. The procedure itself was the "best" bit of the whole thing. Quick and relatively painless, and quick recovery although I was unlucky and got a post op infection

The Miscarriage thread is full of amazing ladies if you haven't already found your way there.

Take care of yourself, rest and I hope you have some help around you x

Stogan · 01/09/2011 16:22

Hi there

So sorry to hear your news. I have had 4 missed miscarriages now and gone for medical management each time. It was comfortable(as it could be) however I was in hospital overnight so don't know how u would be fixed for a sitter?

Hope u are ok hunni and hope everything goes as well as it can whatever u decide.

Big hugs xxxSmile

bigeyes · 01/09/2011 16:28

Sorry for your loss.

I had medical management, I found this drawn out and quite unpleasant but htis was down to the staff and situation on ward.

I would not hesitate to opt for surgical.

Ju1es22 · 01/09/2011 16:30

Hello

Sorry to hear you going through this.

I had a d & c with my missed miscarriage last year was 11 weeks and mesaured 9 + 5. It was the best option for me just wanted to get it over with really and felt the medical option would prolong my recovery mentally and physically. I only had mild spotting no real bleeding before I found out.

The day after I found out I went in hospital as a day patient went in the morning and was home by evening, only had mild bleeding and pain afterwards but recovered within 3 days.

I don't have children but I also agree I think having kids around and going through a miscarriage would probably be harder on them and you (I've also miscarried and it's hard enough just me and dh)

Take care and don't give up hope

GwendolineMaryLacey · 01/09/2011 16:34

I'm sorry to hear about your mc.

I had a mmc in January and had the ERPC. My dates were 5 weeks out, there was no guarantee that things would move any time soon. In the meantime I had work and a 3yo to deal with. I couldn't bear the thought of DD witnessing anything which, being at home with her, she was quite likely to. I also couldn't bear the thought of anything happening at work.

I had an overnight hospital stay because of my bmi but generally it's a day case. It was quick, painless and helped greatly that the physical aide was over and done with. I could then get on with the mental healing.

Original poster
eaglewings · 01/09/2011 16:36

Thank you for your kind and helpful replies. Had a d&c 14 years ago after a mmc but wasn't given any option then. It's much easier emotionally this time as I have had a baby, but still hard.

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speculationisrife · 01/09/2011 16:46

Hi eaglewings - so sorry for your mmc. Just seen you over on the homebirth lady's thread, too. I had an mmc a couple of years ago before my dd - I was 11 weeks, but the baby obviously didn't grow beyond six or seven weeks. I did start to spot, and then bleed, but didn't pass any tissue. I had acupuncture the following day and passed the sac three hours later. Would you consider trying that? I have heard others say they have been able to kickstart things that way, too. Just a thought, if you prefer to go another route to the surgical one. So sorry for your loss. x

kat2504 · 01/09/2011 16:52

So sorry for your loss.
I've had two missed miscarriages and have had both options of management. The surgical management was less traumatic and was over more quickly. The medical management involved spending just as much time in the hospital, but in a lot of pain rather than under anaesthetic.

Original poster
eaglewings · 01/09/2011 17:36

Talking it through with dh and reading this I realise that surgical is better, hope the medics agree.

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Toobloodyoldforthis · 01/09/2011 18:03

Oh dear - so sorry to hear your news. I discovered I had a mmc this week. Had started bleeding last thurs and had to wait until tues for scan to confirm mc because of bloody bank hols - not pleasant. However, people at hospital were super-kind and v sensitive. They seemed pretty keen on the idea of an ERPC, which came as a surprise, coz I thought they'd send me home to do some more waiting. I had it done the same day. I'm in bits, but there's no doubt that ERPC was a blessing for me. In my head it's now something I can deal with (just) because I have some certainty and finality. Back to work tomorrow. At 38 and with no kids, every month seems like I'm just getting older and less hopeful. Still, better luck next time for both of us, I hope. Good luck and take care. x

Original poster
eaglewings · 01/09/2011 18:27

Glad the hospital were good toobloodyoldforthis.

Hope work is ok tomorrow. Did they know?

I feel old too at 43, but there is a lady in our village who had surprise twins at 50 so that gives me hope.

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peedieworky · 01/09/2011 22:35

So sorry you're going through this. I opted for D&C. Sounds cold but I just wanted it over so I could move on. Physically recovered within hours & (after two years of trying - and failing) DS was born almost a year to the day afterwards, so there can be a happy ending x

BleughCowWonders · 01/09/2011 22:43

I opted to wait and see. Took only a few days to start after I found out. I couldn't bear the thought of all the interventions so let nature take its course. It just felt like a very average period to me.
Was pg with dc3 three months later.

Original poster
eaglewings · 02/09/2011 15:01

Had second scan today and it confirmed our fear that it's a mmc. As yolk sac was only 5 week size they have told me I can't have surgical option :( so it's wait and see for a week then medical management after that if necessary.

Had a nice lunch with DH after scan in the sun and kids are being wonderful. Thank you for your help on MN

OP posts:
BleughCowWonders · 02/09/2011 15:04

I fount that my body only 'let go' once I'd told a very good friend. Only then did the bleeding start.

A difficult time so be as kind to yourself as you can in the next few days and weeks.

speculationisrife · 02/09/2011 15:38

Oh eaglewings - so sorry. Glad you are able to spend time with your family and take comfort from that. I hope your body does what it needs to soon, and that you have a speedy recovery. x

GwendolineMaryLacey · 02/09/2011 16:17

I'm so sorry. And that's the first time I've heard them refuse an ERPC because of dates. I was 6 weeks at the most when I had mine. Oh well, if that's what they've said....

Fingers crossed it's as quick and straightforward as possible for you x

shortlady · 06/09/2011 11:34

My EPU gave me a leaflet with the 3 options (wait and see, medical intervention, ERPC) and let me and DH sit in a private room to decide, with support from midwife. I went for medical intervention, but was glad to be given a choice and thought the EPU and all the other NHS staff I needed to speak to (out of hours GP etc) were so incredible.

Original poster
eaglewings · 06/09/2011 12:19

Short lady I saw your post on the march thread, how is it all going? Do you need to return to the hospital again? I do hope you have good support at home.

I have 3 proposed visits starting at the end of the week if nothing has happened by then. One to book in and give consent, then 2 days later to take the tablet and then 2 days after that for the pessary

It's been over 2 weeks since the first scan and my body is still feeling very pregnant.

On a positive note, the village ladies group sent me and the family a wonderful hamper of fruit and treats for all ages. Bless them

OP posts:
shortlady · 06/09/2011 13:20

Eaglewings hello, thinking of you and your situation. I have been delivered a ton of chocolate, must try and eat some fruit as well.

I posted this on a similar thread before I saw this one (I decided the medical intervention best for me). ... Take care xxx
-----

Hi.. Not really sure what thread to post on.. Choose this one as it seems to be looking forward, and I think I recognise at least on name here from the 'due March baby' forum.

I was due my 12 week scan this week, but started bleeding over weekend and went into EPAU monday and confirmed no heartbeat and baby stopped growing at 9.5. I opted for the tablets, and I think the oral one may have worked, or maybe it was going to happen anyway, as I had already started bleeding. Called EPU and they said I can have a scan early tm, to see if I still need the vaginal tablet. I am hoping not.

Feel like I am doing ok and really glad I did not find out at the 12 week scan. Only a few days before, but more prepared due to bleeding. I really feel for anyone that had to go through that.

Regards trying again, we have a holiday booked in October, so I think I will wait until the period after that, then I can really let my hair down on holiday.

Best wishes to you all

Stogan · 06/09/2011 17:57

We found about our first mmc at the 12 week scan and it was doubly horrible as it was on Christmas eve, needless to say it Was the worst Xmas ever but no matter what day it is it is never a nice situation whether u find out via a bleed, a scan or any other means. It's horrendous and we move on but will never ever forget. Hope everyone is doing ok x ?

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere · 06/09/2011 20:00

I had an ERPC yesterday and I am so glad that I opted for that treatment. I was so scared, but it was over before I knew it. I feel dreadfully sad today, but I think I will be okay. Eaglewings, I certainly hope that you will be too.

I have had some pain today, spotting is not too bad and tears are ever present but a kind of relief when they do come. I am fortunate enough to be self employed so I have just cancelled everything for the week, and I will be back to work on Monday. DH is off with me too, probably just til Thursday.

It is so supportive hearing about other people's situations so thank you, everyone, for your stories.

Original poster
eaglewings · 06/09/2011 20:06

Alliwant, so sorry that you are going through this too, the erpc sounds to be the best of a horrible situation. Your dh sounds supportive, glad you are taking things slowly. My tears haven't started yet, still feel in limbo, but I'm sure they are not far off.

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