Blighted ovum then no heartbeat at 8 weeks- connected?

[hopingitsthismonth]

hi,
i have a healthy 2 year old conceived and carried with no issues. 6 months ago i discovered i had a blighted ovum at 12 week scan (no baby, sac 9 weeks). pregnant again I had an had early scan- saw heartbeat at 7 weeks but went for a scan today at 9.5 weeks and there is no heartbeat and sonograpgher said baby measuring 8.5 weeks.

i am hoping that it is just incredibly bad luck and just wondering if anyone knows of any issues that could have caused both miscarriages? i know they dont investigate until 3... my head says bad luck as first DC so straight forwad but am obviously devastated and scared it will keep happeneing if there is an underlying reason/problem.

anyone?

hi, I am sorry for your experiences

no, I think there is no connection between your two mc's

the exact same thing happened to me (but the other way around) and my 3rd pg was successful

I think you have just been very unlucky and there is every chance the next one will be fine. I know how hard not having that crystal ball is though

thanks AnyF.
it helps for someone thinking more logically than I am currently to say that. sorry it happened to you too, its just so rubbish at the risk of sounding like a teenager myself.

deep breaths and ready fo another ERPC I guess.

thanks for replying

hey, I didn't think logically when I was in the middle of it, believe me

incidentally, I did get tested for recurrent mc's after two, because I was already undergoing fertility treatment

although the tests came back clear, I made myself quite ill with worry

oh, hindsight is a wonderful thing, and I wish I had the benefit of it back then ...

good luck with the ERPC x

how is your partner ?

well you wont believe it but as we saw the heartbeat a couple of weeks ago i really thought this scan (private one) would be fine so when he had a last minute work trip abroad come up and i said he should just go so i went to the scan with my sister and had to phone him afterwards. He is really gutted. much worse than last time where he was just practical about it. think he feels guilty for not being here and he also had convinced himself this one would be fine after seeing heatbeat. hes on first flight back tomorrow.

oh and i will ask about testing- worth an ask i guess

yes, worth an ask

your poor partner, and poor you

it is really shit, but totally understandable to think everything was ok after seeing the HB

thanks for the support. i am going to try and get some sleep as my perfect miracle (yes i can think of him like that now- wont last :-)) of a 2 year old wont be up for a lie in tomorrow.

will report back on how hosptal visit goes tomorrow

x

good luck with hospital visit x

I had DS1 with no trouble bar a bit of first trimester bleeding, then had two mcs in the space of three months. I was in bits and convinced we were cursed.

DS2 was conceived two months after mc2.

It is the worst and most horrible kind of shitty luck, and almost harder to deal with when it IS just bad luck, but statistically you're almost as likely to have a successful pg next time as someone who's never had a mc.

Sorry for your losses and hope the hospital's OK.

I had a blighted ovum then an 8week mc then my dd then a 13 week mmc then my son.. There doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason to miscarriages, it is just shitty luck :(

Sorry for your losses :(

how did today go ?

hi lovely ladies.frazzled and worzsel- thanks for sharing- horrible as it is to hear about other peples experiences it helps make it feel more normal in a way.

So i called the hospital this morning and they were amazing. Got me in for a scan and confirmed no heartbeat and then down to surgery for ERPC at 4pm and am now back home having had fish and chips for my dinner. I cant praise the hospital enough- doctors and nurses so lovely and just so effieicent of them to get me all sorted today.

physically, bit of a tummy ache and tired from the anaesthetic but really not in any pain.

i actually feel ok emotionally today. There are people so much worse off than me, i'm just counting my blessings tonight. amazing husband, gorgeous DS and fanastic family who all rallied to look after DS while i was at the hospital today, i'm the luckiest girl.

and thank you AnyF for your support last night when i was definitely not feeling so positive :-)

Aw, TLC and comfort food def the way to go here.

The one thing I will say - and I'm not trying to be a voice of doom, just don't want you to fall into the trap I did - is don't nec assume that because you feel OK right now, you will continue to and need to soldier on.

I decided to put it all behind me, went back to work two days later, and then collapsed sobbing and had to have the rest of the week off. What I needed and didn't give myself was a bit of time and space to figure out how I felt once the post-op relief had worn off.

You might well be OK anyway, just don't try to force yourself to be, if that makes sense?

hey frazzled, I just polished off a bar of fruit and nut too :-)

yeah you are right- i know that i wont necessarily continue to be Miss Positive and will have some ups and downs in the weeks/months to come so will definitely try and take it easy. Ive got next week booked off work for holiday anyway as luck would have it so a week away down south will hopefully help to think it over and get some perspective.

funny how you say "you decided to put it all behind you". i am just like that- "I WILL be in control of my own feelings/ behaviour/life", but we cant just decide can we, feelings dont listen to us sometimes :-)

xx

ah yes

I took a whole 2 weeks off work and still collapsed in a sobbing heap at the fist kind comment

don't make any assumptions about how you are going to feel tomorrow, the day after, next week, next month etc

take each day as a little bubble

and don't ttc again too soon, give yourself time to grieve (that is only my own opinion, some would say go for it straight away)

give your ds a special hug, and DH too

first

yes i can see myself getting upset when people are nice to me- and i dont want the blokey blokes at work to see me blubbung (too much!) so will tread carefully.

i am undecided about the ttc thing. will see how i feel after next weeks hol but i always had in my head that i wanted a 2.5 year gap. first miscarriage would have resulted in 2 yr 4 month gap if it had been ok and this one in a 2 yr 10 month gap if ok so now its going to be a min of 3 years. i know you cant plan hese things and its really not important in the scheme of things but its just what i had always wanted so its just accepting that and not stressing that every month i'm not pregnant again the gap is just getting bigger...

oh, and i realised this morning my due date drom 1s miscarriage was this week- talk about double blow!

Hi hoping
Sorry to hear about your MCs, I hope the physical recovery continues to go smoothly for you. I had the same thing happen to me, blighted ovum discovered at a private scan at 8 weeks, then conceived again, saw hb at 7 weeks then had a spontaneous MC at 9 1/2 weeks. I'd had an early MC before concieving and carrying my son to term before all this, so the nurse counted that as 3 and sent me for testing. We discovered that I have a clotting factor, but the consultant said that this wouldn't have caused the blighted ovum - that was bad luck. It might have caused the 2nd MC, or that one could have been chromosomal - but no one knows because nothing was tested.
I was put on clexane and aspirin for my next pg, but unfortunately I MCed a 3rd time after seeing a HB as well. Again, there's no way to know for sure whether it was clotting or chromosomal or something else...but we'll be adding in progesterone to mix the next time I get pg.

Emotionally, the 2nd MC hit me incredibly hard - worse than the 3rd for some reason. I don't know why. I also worry about the age gap, DS is now 3.3 so we're looking at at least a 4 year gap now IF we're lucky. But as time as passed I seem to be more accepting of that and even of the idea that the 2nd might not happen at all.

Anyway, if you can, it might be worth seeing whether you can get tested for any recurrent MC factors now, you never know it's worth asking. The two things are unlikely to be caused by the same thing, but if it's possible rule anything out before ttc again it might help with the worry and stress when you do get that next BFP.

Best of luck.

hi ladyb,
so so sorry that i havent replied sooner- i have just seen your message now.
really sorry to hear about everything you have been through.
i still havent had a period 7 weeks after erpc so just taking it one step at a time at the moment and think i will think about it all more once i am back to normal physically.
x