low mood, depression or peri?: has anyone come through this?

[SlB09]

I'm in the 'is this hormones or am I just depressed' 0phase of peri I think and just wanted to gauge whether anyone else has a. Been through this and b. Got to the other side and c. If you have what helped?

Basically I feel flat all the time and have done for quite some time now. No enthusiasm, halfway between fuck this and running away into the woods and just blowing my life up to start again just to feel something. It's like an extension crisis but without the motivation to change anything! Everything is just meh, or sad. I'm tearing up more or crying, kind of like pmt but all the time. Periods have got shorter so can be 21day cycle , sometimes 28, occasionally 35. I've just gone through months of utter fucking RAGEEEEEE from the belly type rage and now into meh.

I feel like something needs to change in my life and don't want to ignore the gut feelings but also feel like maybe nothing needs to change and I need to ride the wave. But then will I regret just sitting in this space? Or is my brain playing tricks on me and it's hormonal?! I worry about my parents dying as they are getting on, and feel sad that my child is growing up, and then feel like I'll be left alone and be a sad grumpy lknely old lady.

That probably reads and mushed up as my brain is so apologies if it makes no sense!

It’s hard to know without knowing your circumstances and whether it’s any of the above or if your life is hard just now!

43, married, one kid. Work three days a week in a relatively stressful/responsible professional job. Both parents late 70's, love and hour away, healthy mainly but one needs a heart operation which is a worry.
Around 18m ago marriage problems (general drifted apart, lack of intimacy etc) came to a head and we started marriage therapy which has been going ok, it's still an underlying stress but nothing like at that time.
Want to move back to near parents but husband won't entertain it and son settled in school etc.
Generally a few years ago this was all a thing too and child was younger to more stressful if anything, but I would come back to being generally ok most of the time and happy at times whereas now nothing makes me feel anything more than meh. It's like I'm numb. I do have pmdd and can feel that hormones are at play, it's probably everything rolled into one mushy lump!

Interested in what is said here but have nothing of value to add myself