Perimenopause and feeling incredibly low

[sittinginacarparksomewhere]

I’m 43 - periods are still predominantly every four weeks, although I’ve had the very occasional cycle of six weeks in the last two years and one that was just under three weeks.

I am assuming I’ve hit perimenopause.

The worst thing is that around 5-7 days before my period starts I feel awful. I feel suicidal and there’s like a loud voice in my head which just appears and encourages me. I feel horrible about myself. I feel so ugly I don’t want to leave the house. I feel sad and cry whenever I’m on my own. I feel hopeless and like there’s no point to anything. There’s like a negative voice constantly narrating and telling me how awful I am and how I’m worthless and pathetic.

I feel like this most of the time generally but it’s usually like low level and I function along side it.

I know it is hormonal and I just wait it out but it is 25% of my life that I’m feeling like this.

GP wasn’t interested.
Should I go back? It makes me sound crazy!!

Please go back to your GP. Don’t suffer in silence with this, especially the intrusive voice and the suicidal thoughts. Your GP must take you seriously and provide some help.

Get HRT and consider mirena instead of utrogestan.

I was exactly like you, though didn't use those words with GP as I wouldn't want that on medical file.

You need a lot of oestrogen.

Don't let them fob you off with anti depressants.

GP not interested?! Do they seriously expect women to live like this?!

Everything that @Autumnallaround said. Also, contact your GP surgery or look on their website and see if they have a staff member who specialises in menopause / women's health

Please go back to the GP. Did you tell them you feel suicidal? They can't just ignore something as serious as that. Please also consider talking to a friend/family member IRL about how you're feeling. Call the Samaritans.

I don't know if it's perimenopause. It could also be PMDD. Either way, your GP needs to take you seriously and should refer you to a specialist if they don't feel they have the expertise to help you.

There's some useful advice here on how to talk to your GP about PMDD https://thepmddproject.org/pmdd-resources/

I had intrusive thoughts and suicidal ideation. I was completely honest with my GP they didn't put it on my medical file. They did note low mood, I was very open that I knew how I felt wasn't normal which shows insight. My mother suffered terribly she couldn't rationalise her thoughts and developed psychosis. I started HRT had some therapy and it has helped tremendously. Don't be scared to be honest if you know how you feel that is a good thing. I hope you get help soon x

I had similar OP. Not suicidal, but every month I would get a feeling of horrible despair, feeling DH and kids didn't love me, there was no point in me being part of the family and I was going to have to divorce DH. I felt I would have to do it as I was so inconsequential to him that he wouldn't even be bothered enough to divorce me. Ooof, it makes me well up now thinking about it.

The good news is that HRT sorted me out instantly.

Do you have any friends of a similar age that are on HRT? I had a friend that advised me the best nurse practitioner to see at my practice.

There's also tick lists out there on the internet. If you go and present one of those with a bunch ticked, it might help.

I’m 46 and could have written your post. The run up to my period is horrendous and I don’t really understand how the physical can have such a profound effect on my mental health.

Twice now my period hasn’t arrived and these feelings have peaked and become really unmanageable. Every interaction feels like I’m communicating through an internal barrier and I’m absolutely worthless. I’ve just managed to get a referral for PMDD assessment. The thought of this continuing as my cycle gets more erratic is just unbearable.

My friend was feeling the same and HRT sorted her out. She was suicidal, now she’s fine. Please go back to your GP!

Please find a GP you trust and talk to them. I’m sure this is Peri as although always had intermittent anxiety issues these ramped up last September which coincided with my periods going wonky. There must be a link. I’m feeling awful a lot of the time and have only just found a GP I can talk to. Please persist! There is help and you don’t need to suffer like this x