Peri(menopause) and hating my husband

[ISpeakJive]

I am 48 and going through perimenopause, in fact it has been 5 months since my last period so I am well on the way. Lucky me!
Anyway amongst the hot flashes, on and off sleep, exhaustion, anxiety and depression I have intense rage, especially with DH! I don’t want to be near him, I don’t want him touching me, I don’t even fancy him anymore! Every other day is ‘I want a divorce’ from me! He’s not an awful human being. He provides, he’s a good father, works hard but he annoys the hell out of me! He can antagonise me, make me feel like I’m going mad, be short with me, moan all the time and dig in the knife, especially about my mental health.
So, I'm not sure if the menopause is making me feel like this or this marriage is really over?
I can’t go on HRT because my mum died of breast cancer. Please help? What can I do? Did anyone else go through this? With how I’m feeling at the moment, I don’t want him around! 😬

I’ve been on high dose HRT patches for years but still
feeling so shit, angry, anxiety, no oomph, hating everyone and then I had a blood test tk check my hormones and I am so low on what I need to be a balanced human that they’ve worked out I don’t absorb the patches. I’m now on spray and feel like a new woman. I am so mad that my GP did so few follow ups and just didn’t have a clue despite numerous appointment requests to discuss my symptoms. I had to complain to the surgery to get taken seriously. This just isn’t good enough. The menopause can be so debilitating and cruel and can tear apart families.