Happier in Work than at Home

[SuperBlondie28]

I see a lot of threads where ladies haven given up work or cut hours due peri or menopause. I am 50 and now about a year post menopause.

I actually feel the opposite. I prefer being at work. I do love my job and the people I work with. I'm a senior lab technician so its quite a technical job where results must be accurate. I work full time. I like the fact that i'm in charge of my own work space and its kept tidy and organised. I work with similar or younger ladies who I chat to and they understand what hormones can do, where my husband obviously doesn't . We frequently moan about our kids and husbands, although we do love them. I have no children at home thank goodness.

I am on HRT (Evorel Conti) and since I started them, I just can't be bothered at home. I'm tired as don't sleep well. Snappy (sometimes for a reason). Was on Evorel Sequi before. I do the necessities as my hubby is a shite cook, sort washing/iron, change bed, hoover. But apart from those household jobs, the house is disorganised and messy. My hubby is a hoarder and our hallway looks like the backroom of a garage crossed with a charity shop. He does cars on the side. He does work full time at a manufacturing factory.
He believes nothing should be thrown away, just in case...
He likes ornaments. I hate dusting them. I dislike the clutter of them. So I don't dust them.

I don't think i'm depressed but i'm wondering if Evorel Conti is making me that way. I never got on the mini pill as it made me reallly depressed and tearful. I'm not on that anymore.

I have a healthy diet and am slightly overweight but can't be arsed to exercise. And no, I can't walk my dog, as I don't have one.

Any advise please. Thanks

Do some exercise

Otherwise idk

I don't think it's unusual to feel more put together and patient outside the home. We have a very different relationship with colleagues than we do with our own family.

And if one side of your life feels a lot more clean, tired, organised and understanding than the other, then it's not surprising you feel happier in that environment.

It is difficult to tell whether it is menopause itself of something in the HRT which causes particular symptoms when they're not very obvious ones like hot flushes, but if you feel the cause is likely hormonal then it either means your HRT isn't working well enough to manage the symptom, or it's the HRT causing it.

I don't think HRT can always fix everything, but it might be worth a conversation to see what the alternative options are so you have the information to make a decision if you want to ?

Equally though, it might be worth working out how you can change your home environment to be more like your work one if you think that would make a difference.

If you feel OK at work but not at home it sounds a bit like environmental factors making a difference, but I also think we can get more easily overwhelmed and less patient etc if our own hormones are making us a bit less robust than usual.

I can definitely relate to your post, it's not just you x

What struck me from your post is that you've gone from taking progesterone for half the month, to having it every day. Progesterone doesn't agree with everyone. I'm dead jealous of the women who say it's made them feel calm and chilled and helped with sleep - I had none of that. When I took utrogestan I had a headache for days at a time!

Depending on your menopause symptoms, HRT has varying effects - it can really help hot flushes but not necessarily mood. That's one of the things which is hard to quantify.
Might be worth talking to your prescriber to investigate whether you think the absorption is good.

Tbh, I think we get less tolerant as we get older - that level of mess would do my head in and husband would likely be under the patio. I know I have less tolerance of my husband, who I deeply love but find extremely annoying a lot of the time sometimes. Make him declutter or just bin all his shote when he's out and see if you feel better about home. I'm also trying to get on top of my house and eliminate all the stuff we acquired from in-laws house and the stuff the kids left here.

I got much less tolerant as I got older and into menopause. The loss of oestrogen has that effect - stuff that you put up with - you no longer want to put up with.

Your home situation would drive me mad. I garden and walk and see friends as (while I love my husband - you can spend too much time together) so I'm doing stuff outside of work that I like doing.

Also - the mirena was better for me than progesterone orally - the steady dose meant I wasn't as down or moody.

But I think you've just noticed you have a DH problem...

I feel the same - although in my case it's my young adult children who are pissing me off. I kind of feel trapped in my home and with the dross. I do exercise but I still have to come back home!

How bad is the hoarding situation at home?

I am very early on with HRT, for low mood. I find work helps as a distraction I also have lovely understanding colleagues. Your home sounds chaotic and work sounds like a place of calm.

There are two different things going on here- relationship and lifestyle incompatibility and your HRT. You need to treat them separately.

What struck me from your post is that you've gone from taking progesterone for half the month, to having it every day. Progesterone doesn't agree with everyone. I'm dead jealous of the women who say it's made them feel calm and chilled and helped with sleep - I had none of that.

I agree with this.
And it may just need a change in the type of progesterone or a different regime.

Those patches include Norethisterone, which is one of the older synthetic types of progesterone. It can cause more PMT type symptoms and now you're using it daily, it more be causing more side effects.

You might also get on better with micronised progesterone (Utrogestan) which is slightly sedative at night and / or a higher dose of estrogen.

The issue with combined continuous patches is they only come in a one-size option (50mcgs estrogen.) Using estrogen gel, you can adjust the dose easily trying a new dose for a few weeks.

And even post menopause you don't need to use daily progesterone. It's still possible to use sequential - most GPs either aren't aware of this or they aren't offering it. There are some women (like me) who don't tolerate daily progesterone and are still using sequential in their 60s and 70s.

And yes,you do need to exercise. It helps your mood and reduces risks of heart disease and cancer. Even 20 mins fast walking at lunchtime and another 20 mins at the end of the day after work. Some work places have 'office buddy' walkers and everyone goes out at lunchtime. Might be worth setting up?

Thank you for all your replies.

I have exercised in the past but just haven't felt like it recently. I do a LOT of steps at the work, always rushing around, up and down stairs . Have a walk at lunch time. So while I may be overweight just a tad, I haven't gained any more weight in years.

I ended up on the Conti patches as I went to the GP earlier this year, as I felt the Sequi patches were no longer helping.
Particularly with the sleep issues and anxiety, and she put me on the Conti patches. Which keep falling off anyway. Probably the heatwaves. I haven't got them on repeat anyway so will ring the doctors.

The hoarding thing, he doesn't see it as hoarding. I'm not falling over anything. I can see the floor lol.. I've seen worse on TV. I dislike the mess. I don't see why he keeps his old cassettes, never plays them. But they're boxed up. 🤷🏼‍♀️ Car stuff.. Going on bookshelves with a curtain across. Will look better.

Ornaments - they were his late father's and have sentimental value so they have to stay unfortunately.

Annoying 🙈

I ended up on the Conti patches as I went to the GP earlier this year, as I felt the Sequi patches were no longer helping.
Particularly with the sleep issues and anxiety, and she put me on the Conti patches. Which keep falling off anyway. Probably the heatwaves. I haven't got them on repeat anyway so will ring the doctors.

The problem with conti patches is that the estrogen dose stays the same.

You might be far better on a separate estrogen - gel, spray, patch or tablet - and micronised progesterone. Sometimes you have to tell GPs what you want if they are inexperienced with HRT.

More of the same isn't going to work.
Lack of sleep and anxiety needs more estrogen and using a synthetic progesterone daily can just make it worse.

With gel or spray you can adjust the dose up to twice the dose of a combined patch.

I'm now on the oestrogel pump and medroxy progesterone, which I take at night and seem to tolerate better than the utrogestan, presumably because they are doing their thing, while I sleep.

Can you pack up all the non sentimental stuff your Dh won't ditch and put them in a storage unit. I know you'd have to pay for it, but cheaper than a divorce 😉