Reassure me this is just perimenopause and not pregnancy please!

[TheOtherAgentJohnson]

I'm 43. Last month my period came about a week early (day 22/23), this month it hasn't shown up at all yet, and I'm on day 38. Average is 28-30 days.

Weirdly though, I've been having my normal symptoms - bloating, and extremely painful cramps last night. Normally I get the cramps for one day, on about day 3 or 4 of my period. I have to take a co-codamol as soon as I feel the pain starting, as it's the only thing that touches the sides. Other than that my periods are uneventful and fairly light. The heaviest couple of days of flow are after the pain (but still not much blood).

I took a pregnancy test yesterday, negative. I really, really, really don't want to be pregnant.

What's going on? Should I take another test? Christ, it's like being in my 20s again. My periods were very irregular back then and I used to take pregnancy tests all the time in a panic. I came off the pill about four years ago and have been like clockwork since.

Oh and I had the egg white mucus for a couple of days last week, so I suppose I may have ovulated then. Haven't had sex in the interim.

The only way to know is a pregnancy test, unfortunately.

Are you not on any contraception, if you really really don't want to get pregnant?

I took a pregnancy test yesterday, it was negative, as I said in the OP.

I don't like being on hormonal contraception, I was on the pill for years. We use condoms, haven't had any accidents.

Although no one on the internet can promise you anything, if you've got a negative test and haven't had unprotected sex, then the odds of pregnancy are a low lower than the odds of your periods just becoming irregular owing to perimenopause. The only way to know for sure will be the eventual arrival of your period I guess (or the non-arrival of a baby...). For your peace of mind get some cheap basic pregnancy tests (they are often the most accurate anyway) and do one every day until your period arrives?

Used condoms, negative test and age 43, seems unlikely you're pregnant and more likely it's peri.

Every day? What if a whole cycle has been skipped? Surely once a week is plenty.

Well, I just suggested that as a reassurance but it doesn't really matter - the principle would just be to retest to see whether the negative becomes positive so whatever the OP personally wanted to do.

My point was that no one here can tell you. It sounds very unlikely that you're pregnant though.

I'd take another test in a week, if your period hasn't shown up still.

Thanks all, I might do another test tomorrow morning to be sure.

Is a completely skipped period normal for peri? What with it being early last month and absent this month it feels like a huge sudden change.

My cycles were a mess when I was younger, I think because I had ovarian cysts, which have completely gone now.

Of course, I was asking really if these kinds of shenanigans are to be expected in perimenopause.

Everyone’s different, but that’s how peri seems to have gone for me - a few months of 22-23 day cycles, then a 40-60 day cycle, then more of the shorter ones again.

Yes, skipping a cycle was quite common for me, before I went on the Mirena for HRT and they stopped completely.

I’m a bit older than you , 46, but my last 6 cycles have been 19, 19, 27, 20 and then 78, hadn’t had sex so knew for certain wasn’t pregnant lol, and then went back to 24 this month ! It’s a pain for sure

It's the cramping last night that's got the wind up me. It was agony, just like it is in the middle of my period. What's that about?

Well, my period seems to have finally started. Guess I've got 5-10 years of this nonsense to look forward to!

Same happened to me in December. My periods went from every 28 days to every 24/25 days. Now they come anywhere from 24 - 30 days.

In December they came on day 46. I also panicked and took several pregnancy tests.

They’ve been regular ever since.

I am also 43.