No longer feel the ‘need’ to have sex

[Oldernotwiser44]

Hi, I’ve just turned 45 and suddenly no longer feel that need to have sex (which I’m absolutely fine with btw). I think my body knows the time to make babies is over. I also became a grandma recently which I think may also subconsciously be telling me I’m well & truly done. Can anyone else around this age relate?

No , tbh although I am sad my baby making days are over , I fancy dp as much as ever !

No, the need is still there. But my sex drive has taken a nosedive since I started peri last year. My ability to orgasm has apparently disappeared. 😏(Never had a problem before). I still can but they're definitely less than more now.

Nope, I never wanted kids (sorry DS, he knows I love him!) so baby making was never my biological urge. I'm probably a bit less keen as I like my sleep these days but the urge is still there so far in my fifties.

Falling hormones can cause low libido.
But sex isn't just about making babies is it?

Are you with a partner and how do they feel?

I’d be happy to never ever have it again

Totally empathise. Not had a sex drive for 5 years (54 now). It's like a switch went off. Have no sexual interest in the opposite sex any more at all.

God yes.

It gets better once you’re past all that night sweats and hot flushes rubbish, especially if the kids have moved out and it’s just the two of you again,

I'm 46 and peri and my libido has dropped off a cliff - I miss it. Although my 'need' for it has never been particularly great, it's been several months now and I miss the urges and the feelings of desire and the satisfaction of having some really good sex.

Am struggling with vaginal atrophy so applying various creams almost every day to try and stop it drying up completely and driving me crazy with itching - but I know it's not just that, the same urge to do it just isn't there. Bloody hormones 😣

I really, really hope that's not it forever - I need to know there's hope for some kind of sex life post or even pre menopause - and so does DH!

Book an appointment with your GP to discuss HRT. Having spoken to friends, it seems that older male doctors are more sympathetic than female, especially if the female doctor is under 40! I was lucky enough to have an older male doctor who was more than happy to prescribe HRT, whereas a colleague was told by her 30-something female doctor to pull herself together and get on with it - it’s a perfectly natural part of aging and happens to all women. I bet that doctor will feel differently about it when she hits menopause!

I don't think it was ever an actual need for me tbh.

@misscris thanks for the advice but I'm on HRT already! Now up to 100mg patches plus Estriol/ovestin. No significant improvement since I started over a year ago.