Fucked off

[SouthernMamma]

Our system is so screwed up. Why isn't marriage up for negotiation when a woman hits menopause? Husband is obsessing over young women, my libido has disappeared. Why am I still persisting with the idea I should still be married?

What??

How do you mean? That marriages should expire at menopause?

If you want to divorce him, do it. Middle aged men lechering over young women is gross.

I'm not sure if your username means you live in the US Bible Belt, but generally women of the western world are coming around to the view that marriage and relationships aren't compulsory at all.

You can always get divorced?

I don't think marriages being negotiable during menopause is the answer. What would be the point of marriage then?

Is your DH hitting on young women? That's reason enough to divorce.

As others have said just because a woman is going through menopause does not give husband/partner a clause to chase other younger women.
I am single and thankfully so as easier to manage menopause myself without having to worry about a partner as love my own space around this time and if I was with someone who was lusting after young women, he would be gone straight away if he disrespected me. There are always options and choose the options that suit yourself.

Love the always reliable brutality of Mumsnet responders. And people say Twitter is tough. No I'm not from the southern US

You don’t have to stay married if you don’t want to.

I get you OP x

Op.....i don't think its brutal just people are honest on here. Sometimes too much 🤔 personally I think your husband is the problem. He needs to talk to you and work out what is wrong not go chasing skirt. The silly man

Menopause can be tough, everything changes. Be kind to yourself and maybe put yourself and what you need first. It can be a time for positive change, good luck.

Why am I still persisting with the idea I should still be married?

I don't know.

Why are you?

By 'marriage' are you really talking about sex?

Meaning you aren't in the mood and your husband is looking elsewhere?

Maybe finding your own answer to this is the way forwards.

Counselling perhaps?

Leaving a marriage is always an option. It's not something that ever SHOULD be up for negotiation as you don't need his agreement.

Yes menopause is awful/unfair/really shit. However it doesn't make men chase younger women. He's doing that of his own feeewill, your menopause me is certainly not forcing him to!