Sex is so depressing

[RhymesWithHaliborange]

I am 46 and on HRT (it helps) but basically I realise sex had just become terrible since menopause. My clitoris has disappeared, sex is painful, and my libido is quite difficult to crank up. Climax is a hollow shadow.

Is this all there is now? Fills me with gloom. Is there anything that can be done?

Have you tried testosterone?
Prescribed privately for low libido I believe. Also, do you use any
oestrogen cream down there? That can often help keep things " plump"

If it's any consolation, I'm the same. 52, full hysterectomy, HRT not allowed. My libido is zero, bits are barely visible etc.

Try and get testosterone if you can.

Thanks for the response - can you use oestrogen cream even if you are already on HRT?

I have considered testosterone but I feel OK other than the sex stuff so I worry I might throw things off balance

I had total hysterectomy age 38.. went on HRT ( Estrogen only) my gosh my libido went through the roof.

Oestrogen cream makes a big difference - it’s really helped plump things up down there for me. But it hasn’t returned my libido (and that’s despite full HRT etc). It’s just died a death so I couldn’t really care less anymore. But that’s just me!

Yes try oestrogen cream - and I bought a vibrator - and my sex drive came right back with a vengeance.

Don't let things go - do what you can - use it or lose it - get started, give yourself orgasms. I wasn't ready to let all that go, no way.

Testosterone made a huge difference to me, to climax, libido but also energy and capacity to concentrate on hard spreadsheets (weirdly)!

I've got oestrogen pessaries. Fabulous things!

@RhymesWithHaliborange even with HRT many women need the vaginal oestrogen -- either a cream or the pessaries, which deliver a minuscule (but miraculous!) amount of local oestrogen.

Testosterone did nothing for me sadly but I use Ovestin cream externally most nights as it’s the only thing that stops my bits shrivelling up. I take HRT too but need the external treatment on top.