No Sex Forever?

[Andrew2020]

I’m at my wits end. I am 52 and my lovely DH is 54. I have passed through the menopause and now I just cannot have PIV sex. It just will not go in! Please tell me what to do as I feel bad for a 54 year old man who will never have proper sex again. For me, I don’t care, but I’m starting to think I should divorce him so that he doesn’t face this for the rest of our lives. He is lovely about it, but it’s been about a year since it last happened.

Just checking your username- you are the wife and not the husband posting this ? (There are often 'reverses' on MN!)

You can have sex again but you need treatment via your GP.

The vagina does shrink post menopause so you need to do two things

1 Go to your GP and tell them this and ask for vaginal estrogen cream which works within a few weeks to help restore elasticity. OTC lube etc won't do the job on its own.

2 Your GP may be able to provide you with, or tell you where to buy, medical dilators (you may need a referral to a gynae for this...depends...or they may be for sale on Amazon) These are small dilators which you use, to stretch things, gradually building up from small to larger.

52 is far too young to give up sex and sadly, if you don't use it you will lose it!

No, I name changed for this post and that was the first word that came to me whilst looking for a new name. I am the wife. I’ve had Vagifem in the past, during menopause, but it doesn’t seem to work any more. It worked really well, along with the patches for a few years though. But now I’m out the other side, nothing seems to work. I’ve ordered some moisturiser from Yes, as I need something for that now, too. Ageing sucks.

Oh and meant to say, now I am through the menopause, my doctor doesn’t seem to want to prescribe the Vagifem any more, either.

Oh dear God not another useless dr.

What on earth is wrong with these drs?

Women are never 'through' menopause. When you reach post menopause- no period for 12 months or longer- that's a lifelong state. You are depleted of estrogen forever and THIS is when a lot of issues start and women turn to HRT and vaginal estrogen. They are NOT just for peri menopause.

I was older than you are now when I started hrt.

Find another dr who knows the basics or speak to yours again. it's an utter disgrace they behave like this.

You can use Vagifem or Ovestin for life- I know women in their 80s and 90s using it- not necessarily for sex but to keep them comfortable and help prevent other issues with vaginal atrophy.

Oh, I didn’t know that. I will try it (and the doctor) again! Thanks