Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Menopause

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

Unusual outcomes of peri and menopause?

28 replies

Badders123 · 15/10/2016 15:18

I've been peri since I turned 40. I was 44 last week.
Since then, but esp in the last year or so I've felt no joy in or need to cook for my kids and Dh.
I am a decent cook...can bake too.
But now...It wouldn't bother me if I never cooked a meal again!
Is it just me?
Will it change?
Obv I do feed my family :) but I get no pleasure from it. Its a chore and one I'm increasingly feeling resentful of :(
Anyone else?....

OP posts:
lljkk · 15/10/2016 16:49

Why do you think it's anything to do with hormones? Cooking is just boring, don't you think? No wonder you're bored of it.

Original poster
Badders123 · 15/10/2016 17:49

Used to love it...would actually spend time reading recipe books 😬
I read somewhere that it can happen to menopausal women...thatnis, they just get fed up of nurturing....
Wondered if anyone felt the same, that's all....

OP posts:
lljkk · 15/10/2016 17:54

Cooking for you was a way of showing love to others?

Original poster
Badders123 · 15/10/2016 17:59

I suppose so, yes....

OP posts:
Heratnumber7 · 15/10/2016 18:00

It is for me lijkk.
As is generally looking after people.

lljkk · 16/10/2016 15:13

I think I'm less interested in my children as I age, but that's just a natural progression in parenthood. I admire my parents for being more selfish than I was (but not as selfish as they were, iyswim). My teens are making plans for their adult lives, the younger ones don't need physical care any more (in same way). I work more hours so have to earn a lot of bacon. It's a healthy natural progression. After they move out & rarely ring, I still want to have an identity.

Maybe the main way I show love is by listening to them. All their plans, ideas, believes, thought trains, mini-dramas, stupid prejudices, etc. Even when it's disruptive or dull as dishwater subjects(!) I still listen.

BakeOffBiscuits · 16/10/2016 15:18

I wonder if it's got more to do with having cooked for so many years that your now getting bored with it. I go through stages like that.

Dds have both now left home and I love the fact I can do something like cheese and biscuits or scrambled eggs for supper. I woudnt have done that when the DC were at home, I'd have cooked a "proper meal".

I have got my cooking mojo back- I enjoy it but do it less- a good balance.

Bobochic · 16/10/2016 15:18

Interesting. I am perimenopausal and would say that my desire to nurture DC has waned recently. Fortunately this has coincided with the DSSs moving on to university and DD going to secondary school. I have more energy than before for intellectually demanding tasks.

ReggaeShark · 16/10/2016 15:20

Is 'cooking' a euphemism for 'sex'? If so, I'm with you OP.

lljkk · 16/10/2016 15:28

Grin @ Reggae. I think there are creams for that sort of thing... Wink

Original poster
Badders123 · 16/10/2016 15:58

Well, yes, sex too! Blush
Interesting others feel the same...

OP posts:
Dorje · 07/11/2016 22:18

Absolutely!
I have the contents of my DH's mother's kitchen drawers - utensils and the like.
She announced that she never wanted to cook again and divorced DH's dad just to make sure she was perfectly understood

I'm coming to that opinion myself and I used to cook huge meals and have dinner parties and hosted all the major holidays for all and sundry.

I also used to read recipie books and try out things all the time. Now toasted cheese with cep mushrooms is a perfect dinner, and my DH can forage for himself.

I can feel myself looking inward towards 'mothering' myself now, and planning 'my' future.

In China the menopause is called the Second Spring as it gives a new life to women once their family nurturing years are over.

I'm delighted with the change!

PollyPerky · 07/11/2016 22:42

maybe it's nothing to do with menopause but changing circs at home.

dollylucy · 07/11/2016 23:06

I feel the same
But I have no pleasure in food at all.
No appetite, very unexcited about food.
But it actually means I'm eating the wrong things, easy convenient foods,lots of toast

Original poster
Badders123 · 08/11/2016 22:02

Me too dolly! Sad
I'm certainly at a difficult time in my life
Dh away a lot
2 DC
Frail elderly mother
My own health issues
It's a bit grim
Tbh....

OP posts:
Deux · 08/11/2016 22:58

I was getting a bit like that too. Though it's only now after reading your thread I can see a pattern for me. I've been on HRT since august and I've just realised that I've bought 2 cook books since then and even got another from the library today. And I whipped up a feast at the weekend, something I used to do often but looking back I haven't done that for about a year as I just cba.

I did hear on a radio programme, I think on R4, yonks ago that this was indeed a phenomenon. That women can lose their nurturing/maternal side when oestrogen levels fall.

Original poster
Badders123 · 09/11/2016 10:39

Well ladies I've bitten the bullet and been to dr to try a different HRT
I've been given femseven sequi 50 mg patches
Any idea when I'm supposed to start them?
Leaflet not helpful
Dr didn't seem to know either!
I'm about to start my period....polly help!!!!

OP posts:
Cherylene · 09/11/2016 13:02

If it is one that you have a period with, it is best to start it so that you will be due your period at the usual time, so that it fits in with your natural cycle (if there is one there).

Otherwise, just start the new one.

If you are taking something else already, it usually fits in with that - ie you start the new packet when you finish the old one.

Original poster
Badders123 · 09/11/2016 13:54

I can't find any info on this at all!
How odd!
The dr seemed to suggest anytime was ok
I've put the first patch on - I'm due on soon so that will be 4 weeks til I'm due another bleed
Am hoping that's the right thing to do...

OP posts:
PollyPerky · 09/11/2016 16:43

Why don't drs actually do what they are supposed to do? (ie know about women's health?)

I think the rule is any time at all if you are having erratic periods, but at the start of a cycle - as pp said- if not. This is so it will be following your own cycle as there are 2 hormones over the 28 days.

It won't be a disaster is you use it at any time but you might get 2 periods in a month to start with it you also have a natural cycle. The HRT should reset it all in the end.

Original poster
Badders123 · 09/11/2016 16:50

Ha! Good question!
One dr last year px me a hrt the pharmacist refused to dispense!
(It was oestrogen only) this is bad if you still have a uterus apparently.
I dunno.
The risks worry me Obv but I can't go in like this, I'm only 44!

OP posts:
Original poster
Badders123 · 09/11/2016 17:14

Also, by start of cycle does that mean just before a period?

OP posts:
SuperFlyHigh · 09/11/2016 17:16

I have no idea whether perimenopausal or not...

however periods got lighter in past 6 months, sex drive slightly down...

but otherwise much same as usual. My mum had an emergency op in that region about same age so 'forced' early menopause, her mum (my nana) had a hysterectomy at same age so early menopause. so got no idea!

80sWaistcoat · 09/11/2016 17:18

I think there's something in this. That's a fall in hormones could start to make you less nurturing. I was never terribly nurturing anyway - but it's pretty much all gone now.