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Menopause

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Periods longer and gone off sex

3 replies

ftm42 · 24/03/2011 10:26

Am I bucking a trend here? My DH reads so much in the media about women getting hornier during their menopause, but I seem to be going the opposite way!

My cycle is getting shorter [gone from 30 to 21 days in the last 6 months] and when I do come on, it lasts about 10 days! Feels like '2 weeks on 1 week off' now! My libido has always been lower than his but now it's nil and he is so frustrated. Wanders around like a wet weekend asking me how 'heavy are you [bleeding] now?'; 'it's been more than a week'; 'I'm stressed'; etc etc. He even 'tested' me last week by waiting to see how long it would take before I initiated something!! I was about to [honest] when my period started - again! He treats me as if I plan it deliberately to annoy him. It's not much fun for me either.

I know it's probably the menopause as I'm 47 now and have had chemo in the last 6 years which I was told would push me into early menopause [we were expecting it to happen during my treatment, but when it didn't, I was advised it would probably happen earlier than 'usual' so I'm not surprised].

I'm also on anti-depressants for severe mood swings. I tried to wean myself off last week but the temper came back within 2 days and I started taking them again!

What can I do? Am I normal or should I be 'in my prime' like the magazines say? Do I just use the old 'God gave you 2 hands - use one' suggestion?!

OP posts:
Smallstuff · 24/03/2011 13:04

Poor you it sounds like you are having/have had a tough time.
I am no expert but would say that my libido at present is practically zero except for about 5 days after my period ends. But then luckily for me my cycle hasn't yet got shorter than 26 days and my bleeds are a normal length.
I am not sure I have ever read that women get hornier during menopause it's certainly not my experience. Altho I am still waiting for blood test results I am sure that I am starting with the peri menopause.
I have had a long chat with DH about how I am feeling and he has accepted less sex so I try to make an effort when I feel most like it and he doesn't pressurise me the rest of the month. Quality not quantity is our current way of thinKing. Until we had this chat it was causing issues.
Have you seen the GP about the bleeding issues rather than just the mood swings?

ftm42 · 24/03/2011 13:17

Spoke about it in a roundabout way when I saw GP for mood swings. Went along the lines of "you can't have HRT so you'll just have to put up with it". I had hormone-related breast cancer so can't use anything HRT-related and have been told to steer clear of herbal remedies too as they can simulate hormones so no telling what they might do as side-effects.

OP posts:
cabbageroses · 24/03/2011 16:48

This sounds more like a post for the relationship forum- your DH sounds selfish. What an idiot.
Lower sex drive is classic menopause symptom.

recommend a book Your change Your Choice by gynae/meno expert Michael Dooley. It has a huge section on all types of things that might help apart from HRt and herbs.

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