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Ex now not wanting overnight stays

2 replies

norksinmywaistband · 03/04/2010 21:09

Background - since we split Exh has been seeing DC every Wed at the House, and having them Fri night til sunday night every other week.
An incident at the beginning of Feb, led to supervised contact every Sunday at FMH, with me supervising.

He has now completed his course of therapy and is stable on AD's. So discussion tonight about resuming unsupervised contact.

He feels ready for this and I am happy with it BUT he now only wants them every Sunday and not any overnight stays.

His reasons are not anything to do with his depression, but because he dosn't feel his accomodation is suitable ( he was quite happy before) and he wants to look for evening bar work to boost his income so he can afford a flat of his own.
( which imo means he is never planning to have the DC overnight again as even if he gets the flat which is more suitable, he will still need the job to maintain it)

So where do I stand with this. No court order, but an agreed arrangements for children form filed with the divorce.

any advice gratefully received

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 04/04/2010 10:13

statement of arrangements in divorce has no legal standing....and i know you cant force him to have them overnight. so you're stuck!!

but if he's working then he needs to know he would get a reduction from his maintenence for overnights!!

norksinmywaistband · 05/04/2010 13:22

Thankyou, further discussions with Ex and He may want them occasionally but not on a regular basis.
I have said that he can have them overnight as long as it is planned in advance ( not a sudden decision on the day he is picking them up) hope this is reasonable, but I want to make sure the children know what the plan is in advance as they are little and like to know what is going on. they have imo been messed around enough recently.

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