worried about son going away with his dad

[lisalisalisa]

hi, i'm new to this site.
recently i've been really worrying about my ex husband wanting to take my 2yr old son away in the summer. he is a good dad but i've found myself losing sleep...worrying about the pools, balconies, him being abducted etc and i won't be there to watch him. i know my ex will watch him but his parents are going to and i worry he will leave my son with them, they have a very very laid back approach to EVERYTHING and i worry they wont watch him properly. i am scared to say wanything because my ex gets very defensive over his parents and i dont want any trouble. is anyone else in a similar situation?

thanx lisa

if you let him and his parents care for him in uk then it should be fine.

you cant worry about things which statisticallya re unlikely to happen ie abductions, drowning in pools, falling off balconies etc - just set basic precautions - eg have them book a ground floor (or secure balcony); make sure they dont leave child alone in apartment to go off and have dinner a la mccanns, provide him with a flotaion suit for when by the pool etc .

but no you cant be there and you cant watch - you just have to trust.

laid back is not the same as unsafe.

my dad once gave me agood lesson -we were on holiday together with my then 18 month son - he had diffiuclties walking anyway and was crawling around garden and up some concrete steps - when i rushed to get him dad said - leave him - he will be fine.

and he was, he climbed up and down the dangerous steps...i learned then - back off and let them discover.

do you have that approach yourself at home?

or are you over safety cautious?

is that why you worry about the holiday?

You can't wrap him in cotton wool forever. He's going with his dad. He'll be fine.

If you over analyse everything then you'll worry yourself into an early grave.

Totally understand. I lost a lot of sleep when my ex took our youngest DS to Disneyland Paris. It was awful and I had no faith in his ability to look after the little guy even though he did have him and his brother overnight on a regular basis.

In the end, it turned out fine and DS had a brilliant time. Because his father had sole and complete responsibility (didn't have me there to do everything!) he had to just get on with it. And by all accounts he did.

I do sympathise. I have horrible patches of worry when my DSs are with their dad.