See this is why I hate internet dating

[IllegallyBrunette]

I am trying really hard to not delete my profile from POF and am also trying to message any blokes that I like the look/sound of instead of just sitting there waiting to be asked.

Anyhow, yesterday I messaged a bloke who's profile seemed pretty similar to mine wrt what we wanted.

So today he replies saying that he thinks I am really pretty blah blah blah but that he thinks we don't want the same things.

I am confused so look at his profile again, read through it all, and maybe it is me being thick but i still didn't see it. So i reply to his message saying what it is he is looking for then, and he replies saying 'well as it says in my profile, i am looking for regular sex'.

It does not say that in his profile at all. It says he is looking for someone affectionate.

Why can't people just be bloody honest. I wouldn't of wasted my time sending him a message if he had actually put that in his profile.

leave him a testimonial on his profile so that other poor unfortunate women are suckered in.

Have deleted all his messages now and can't remember his name, but if I come across him again I will.

That is if i don't delete my profile.

So far I have had .........

• A guy accuse me of not replying because he was black.

• A guy saying how lovely he thought i was etc and then sending another message saying he had just reread my profile and wasn't interested anymore because i have 3 kids.

• A guy who seemed lovely, chatted for a while and then he dissapeared when I asked him to add me to msn.

• This idiot today

Hi Illegally Brunette (love your name, wish I'd thought of it!)

I am just trying to work up the nerve to put my photo up on an internet dating profile so was interested in your comments.

Do you think that "affectionate" is one of those codes used on dating sites then?

I didn;t know that (had better check I didn;t check that box on my profile as that is NOT what I am after!

Will need to investigate further...

Sorry for butting in on your thread - but, God don't get me started on internet dating - I mean where do all the psychos come from? Or is it just me? I seem to either get 28-year-old would-be toyboys or incredibly hopeful 60-year-olds!

Either that or the men who send you a message saying 'u r sexy' or 'r u hot?' and then wonder why you don't bother replying ....

Like you IB I am thinking of deleting my profile - but what is the alternative to online dating? anyone got any practical ideas/suggestions before I give up and take up knitting?

at the risk of repeating myself ib - use a proper dating site. somewhere where blokes who are looking for something more serious might be found.

i know you may have to pay. and dont be thinking ive turned into a romantic fool, but to find someone who could be your soulmate is priceless. you could spend much time on pof with little chance of finding it.

Guardian SOulmates seems to work well for people who are interested in a long-term partnership rather than no-strings sex and fun (though I believe either Craigslist or SwingingHeaven are better sites if no-strings fun sex is what you want)..

I met my husband on direct dating!!!
Kissed a few frogs mind.....most bonkers occasion was someone messaging me asking for a 3some with his girfriend!

Still baffled as to which bit of my profile suggested that!

Can't afford to use a site where I have to pay, and tbh I wouldn't even if I could, i'd rather spend the money on my kids/house/food/bills.

I have actually used 2 fee paying sites in the past and the responses i got were no different to the free sites anyway.

I have no idea what the alternative is really. I don't go out, well not often anyway so meeting someone like that is not an option for me.

I will be starting work soon, but that will be with a majority female staff, and all female patients lol.

at teh risk of sounding condescending, don't take it seriously. don't think you're going to meet mr right, or even mr will do for now - think of it as you'll simply talk to a few people online.

I've met a few, some on dating sites some on POF - in fact DP is from POF, as was my last boyfriend (who by the way is a bellend so stick away from him - names will be provided on request! lol)

I think on there it's a case of reading between the lines on a lot of them, I never bothered looking at anyone who wanted 'intimate ecounters' or such likes and told anyone who emailed me asking to bugger off (had a few 'your up your own arse comments back when I said bugger off - but well, I don't know them, they don't know me!)

paying sites for me tbh, were just as bad - I used dating direct for a couple of months, and tbh it wasn't v good - the men seemed to be more interested in relationships yes - but with multiple people!!

I actually think you're far more likely to run into someone you genuinely like via proper online dating, esp. if you're honest about what you're looking for and who you are upfront. Guardian's Soulmates v. good, in my opinion.

Oh don't worry I don't take it seriously, which is a good job.