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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

So, would you keep seeing someone if...

27 replies

ActuallyNotTrolling · 21/11/2008 13:25

You went out as a friend group, he got absolutly ratarsed, and you woke up at 4am in his bed - to find he's wet the bed?

Honestly? I can't ask amongst RL friends, he will be mortified. But I need to know. it's bad, yes, but is it a deal breaker?

(He was suitable horrified)

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Original poster

ActuallyNotTrolling · 21/11/2008 13:32

...

OP posts:

UnfortunatelyMe · 21/11/2008 13:34

How long have you known him?
FWIW my xp wet the bed twice, not drunk, in the same week 14 years ago. Just twice that week and never again...

crokky · 21/11/2008 13:35

Is it a medical problem? I think there was an embarassing illnesses program recently and this is fairly common (1 in 100 adults regularly wet the bed) - I think.

Or did he just get really pissed?

I think I would keep seeing him if this was the only thing putting you off.

Tinkerbel6 · 21/11/2008 13:35

no no, a big turn off for me

Original poster

ActuallyNotTrolling · 21/11/2008 13:36

I've known him a few months, I've been hopping into bed with him for a few weeks.

I must point out that he was horrified in the morning when I explained why he was asleep on a pile of towels - he wasn't horrified at 4am because he wasn't conscious and I had to strip the bed as best I could (good job it's a bloody big bed)

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Original poster

ActuallyNotTrolling · 21/11/2008 13:37

I must say, he was horrified but in hindsight not incredibly shocked...

OP posts:

UnfortunatelyMe · 21/11/2008 13:37

I think, if it was drink related, I would hope to see him easing off a bit. But I wouldnt end it over it.

MrsSanta · 21/11/2008 13:38

When did this happen and has be explained anything.

bellabelly · 21/11/2008 13:42

Nope, there are FAR worse things in life - assume it was a one-off. Poor bloke, bet he is very embarrassed... At least it was HIS bed and not yours

PootyApplewater · 21/11/2008 13:57

I'd prefer roses and chocolates, if I'm absolutely honest.

Original poster

ActuallyNotTrolling · 21/11/2008 13:58

Phew, I wondered if I was strange for 'forgiving' it. I am dying to tell my friend and I just can't, it would be a complete dishonour

OP posts:

MascaraOHara · 21/11/2008 13:58

one off - fine no probs.. frequent occurance - get rid.. problem if regularly getting that drunk.

I've had more than 1 boyfriend piss the bed with me in it

NotQuiteCockney · 21/11/2008 14:03

Hmm, an ex of mine did this, once with me, but, I found out, quite a few times when I wasn't around. I'd be keeping an eye on his alcohol habits, if I was thinking of the relationship as a long one.

Pinkchampagne · 21/11/2008 16:24

One of my ex boyfriends did this...I wasn't best pleased! We didn't last that much longer, but he had drinking problems.

hauntedcitylover · 21/11/2008 17:10

Yes I had an ex who did this. We once went on a football trip to Scotland and a couple from the opposite team put us up and guess what he pissed all over the campbed.

I was mortified - absolutely mortified - this was abt 20 years ago.

I am sure he had a drink problem too.

CrushaGrape · 21/11/2008 17:24

It would put me off somewhat if wasn't already in a relationship with them. If a DP of some time had done so, I might even find it amusing, but if it was someone I didn't already have an intimate bond with, it would unfortunately colour the way I perceived them. This is probably quite mean, but I don't think I'd be able to help it.

TheNewsMonger · 21/11/2008 20:05

He sounds like my old flat mate.

Does he put a shepherd's pie in the oven and then fall in to a drunken coma, setting off the smoke alarm for somebody else to de-activate at 2 am@???

Just wondering.

But seriously, crushagrape is right. It would, not to mince words, put me off somebody. I would no longer find them attractive if they'd pissed themselves, and if I were in the early stages of a relationship, I'd choose not to get further involved.

LittleBella · 21/11/2008 20:14

For me yes it would be a deal breaker.

Someone who gets so pissed that they lose control of their bladder, is someone deeply unattractive to me.

Someone who doesn't have control of their bladder because of a medical condition is a different kettle of fish.

alleve · 21/11/2008 20:22

It would put me off, sorry.

MsPontipine · 21/11/2008 20:32

I've done it a couple of times when vv drunk and once when not at all for some reason...

Once in a blue moon - forgivable (pop a bed mat under him!) but if he's frequently drinking to this excess - is this the time of guy you want in your life around you and your children??

skramble · 22/11/2008 00:04

Iremeber when I was much younger getting rat arsed with a bloke both fell asleep on the sette and I woke up soaking, figured out it wasn't me, but it didn't smell that strong so it was either our sweatyness or his piss was so diluted by beer. Either way it wasn't really a big issue.

But.... if he just pissed himself because he has an alcohol problem the alcohol problem would be the deal breaker not the actual peeing. I would figure that out before writing him off. Which I would if he was an alcoholic.

NCbirdy · 22/11/2008 00:32

I used to know someone who would do this after 1 pint of beer. Not at all when tee-total but every time he drank anything it happened. He was suitably mortified but accepted it as part of his life amd fitted mats and waterproof sheets. His gf got used to it after a while and decided that he was worth sticking with.

Having said all of that, he did stay tee-total until well into the relationship. I think it would be a bad sign for me if this happens when he gets drunk and he did not bother to stay sober when with you IYSWIM. If it is a one off... I would like to say I would be ok but somehow I think I probably would find an excuse to get out of the relationship a.s.a.p. much to my shame

ninah · 22/11/2008 13:23

my friends husband has weed on the floor a couple of times when drunk, and dreaming he was in the loo. That's twice over years, tho. An ex of mine was stumbling about at night and opened his chest of drawers as if it was a bidet - just about stopped him going in there. I don't think it's as uncommon as you would hope!

LittleBella · 22/11/2008 19:15

Blimey there seems to be an immense tolerance of people peeing in the bed.

I must have had a sheltered life, I would find it utterly unacceptable. Even if someone had a medical condition, I'd expect them to let me know beforehand and take whatever steps necessary to deal with it. If people are pissing the bed just because they drank too much booze, then that's really repulsive imo.

LaDollyVita · 22/11/2008 19:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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