would anyone else do this or am i just evil? [grin]

[shelleylou]

XP has been working for a little while i informed the CSA they sent forms to him for his job details a few weeks ago. I phoned them up to find out what was happening and he still hasnt returned the forms!!
So the lovely person that i am looked up the company and gave the CSA the address telephone number and what he does. I've done it so he makes the contribution to our son he should. Would anyone else do this or am i just a bitch?

I am lucky in that ex is paying maint for the dc's without involving the CSA, however if I was in your situation I would not think twice before acting in the same way.

He is being a TWAT, he should be grassed up!
Hope he coughs up as well

You are absolutely not being a bitch. Don't think that for a second.

I'm a mum and a stepmum and my DH wouldn't dream of even involving the CSA.

You are doing what is right for your son.

It doesnt look like hes going to have a choice. From the sounds of it they are going to contact his employer and have it taken straight from his wages.

GOod! So he should.

ycbs, im expecting a nasty phone call or text when it comes out his end from him or his mum but they can shove it.
It didnt really help matters that my ds needs new shoes xp owes me £20 not a huge amount i know but i need it for that reason. I text him to ask him for it today and the response i got after him initially avoiding it was ill have to see what ive got!!!!

well, look at the positive,,,, if the cs TAKE THE MONEY FROM HIS WAGES, he won't have to 'see what he's got' - that will be done for him!!

sorry 4 caps - am 1 handed typing with DS on mu shoulder!!

The CSA can find out where a NRP works from their NI number. They just contact the Tax office and get the info if the NRP doesn't fill in the forms.

So shellylou - the CSA may well have got the tax office to give them this info if you hadn't have done.

You've done the right thing. Why shouldn't he contribute a fair amount!? My ex resents the amount we get from him (not as much as he should be giving us!) I think the main reason is now he can't bask in the glory of being The Daddy 24/7 as he did before we split.. (At the time he did nothing round the house nothing to support me or the three children. It was all about appearances.)

tyhey did mnention getting in touch with the tax office at least with me giving them the details i know they have them.

Ive text him to see if hes going to pay me back cant see him doing it though. Luckily my new man has offered to get them (not sure if i feel comfortable with that though)

The csa will make him backdate the payments won't they? Can you get a shoe grant? I recently joined a single parents suppurt group (local) and they said they can help people apply for grants for shoes, school uniform etc. Haven't needed one as yet due to my ex's mother being very generous (lucky, I know)

I should be getting the £20 off him not sure whether it was due to me telling him ds will be having a £5 pair of shoes and thanks for his concern abut ds's feet or telling him he had to use the car seat if he had ds again. (car seat is what he owes me money for) Just got to wait and see if he does actually put it in.

i got the money he owed me was surprised i did especically after he said about me accusing his daughter of being a liar and i still said she was. (ds wouldnt have been able to do what she said he did)

He's now decided he doesnt want to see or speak to me so i have to arrange it with my mum for him to collect ds. Mum will be happy for that as she doesnt want him to collect ds from me. I've told him to arrange it himself if he is having ds, any involvement i have is communication which he doesnt want.