How long do you wait i.e. how many dates before .......

[BernieBear]

I finally have sex after 2.5 years? Have been dating a guy for the last few weeks and it is going great! But I was wondering how long is an "acceptable" amount of time to wait before I can finally feel less frustrated. Any suggestions/personal stories?

Next date is this weekend, should I be hawling out the nice underwear or stick with the dodgy old stuff?

Many thanks ladies

ahem, well with XH I waited for 4 months, with DP I waited erm second date I know shameless hussy!!

I think the key is to go with what ever you feel happy with.

Mmm, well my head says "try to be good for once in your life and wait a little longer", whilst my body is screaming "You've got a live one here girl, go Go GO!

My Russian friend says the longer you make them wait the more they are attached to you. Personally, I do what I like. I don't believes in shoulds and shouldn'ts any more - I'm a 44 year old woman, dammit. I'll do what I want (cos I'm blardy sure men do!!)

What works for you? is my answer to your question.

lol. I understand, my head was shouting na make him wait & show him you're boss, & (basically know he's not/i'm not just after sex) on the other hand I was also thinking - there's been a thread on MN recently and loads of women had sex on the first date with their other halfs so why not!!!!! lol.

honestly thou just do what you feel is right at the time.

not sure i'd want him to be attached to me tbh - he can walk in my direction for a while till I get bored, but that's about all I think.

didn't realise you were that age LW!

You've already been dating a few weeks with no sex - bloody hell thats long enough, IMO.

But don't listen to me, I sleep with men the day I meet them

Have you done anything with him yet? Snogging? Heavy petting?

I think if I'd gone 2.5 yrs without sex I'd explode if a man so much as put his hand on my leg

The longest I ever went was 7 months and then I slept with him on the third date! Do what feels right to you.

I'd have gone for it before now - I don't buy the concept of "being good" though, so you might not want to listen to me

Yes, we have snogged and yes I almost spontaneously combusted! I wonder if he is a little slow to be honest. I have never known a man before take his time over this stuff. Quite frankly it is driving me crazy. Is this some crazy role reversal thing?

For god's sake I'm IN MY PRIME!!!!!!!!

roffle

Right, take the lead on your next date. Wear the nice underwear. Progress the snogging onto heavy petting and then ask him if he wans to go upstairs or something

well.. if i'd been that long without a date (which i have by the way) i'd probably do the dirty on the first date incase he didnt like me enough for a second (not that I'm insecure about myself or anything!!!)

Right, will do. Just checked underwear situation. Think I may need to get some more, nothing fits. .

Is it really like riding a bike (obviously not exactly, I realise that) as in you never forget. I vaguely remember stuff but am a little nervous it will all go tits up (figuratively and metaphorically).

Dammit - should have done a name change, DTM Yes, I am very old.

My dp suffers from very low self esteem, BB, and I'm sure we would never have done anything if left to him. Infact, he still never makes the first move now. Gives little hints these days, a whole year down the line. What progress!!

Maybe your guy is not sure what you expect, so throw him to the ground and show him

yup pretty much it is, after being with XH for 8 years and not looking elsewhere. things jsut ahem slot into place as it were! deffo get some nice undies - apparently men like matching according to DP - but he also added none of his other gf's have had matching ones! lol.

Ah yes littlewoman, low self esteem has been mentioned. That explains stuff then (she says hopefully).

Right will hit the underwear retailers tomorrow for matching undies and hope the throwing to the floor thing works. I guess this would be one situation where I don't keep anything crossed........

god, I'm nervous now. Ridiculous! Still got three days to go........

PMSL at heavy petting.

You'll psyche yourself up so much that you feel sick if your not careful

Ooh, I'm well excited now. BB's got a boyfriend, BB's got a boyfriend lol Hope it all goes well xx

Heavy petting ... isn't that what you do in swimming pools? Anyone remember those signs, or am I just old? lol

lol littlewoman. Will keep you posted....but not like the live labour posts you understand!

lol.

i'm a big fan of telling them what you want - and if they don't get the hint showing them! lol.

Bernie faints at the thought!

Mankymum, just read your post. PMSL

Just had a check as to when your next date is .... weekend. Righty ho. I'm never on at the weekend, so post your update under a title I won't miss, BernieBear!! Thank you so much

`i'm a big fan of telling them what you want - and if they don't get the hint showing them!'

I dream of meeting someone like this. My psychic abilities seem to fade when the moon wanes! Seems to me that the difference between seduction and being a perv is whether they fancy you or not...which of course you have no way of knowing until you try...

Exactly, lostdad. Nothing ventured, no 'perv' label gained

Oh, and most women are like this. Under our our fluffy negligees is a dominatrice waiting to get out.