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Original poster

Worst thing abouts Summer Holidays

25 replies

peonyfairy03 · 11/08/2019 21:19

My DCs have now gone for their 2 weeks with their dad. I hate this time of the year. I know he has to spend quality time with them also. I just feel redundant. He had another child with OW so he’s always got a child at home. They go EOW which is fine as do things. I think I’m finding it hard as he is still so controlling and refuses to tell me where they are going. Both DCs have phones but OW likes to check them.

OP posts:
Kleptronic · 11/08/2019 21:54

What an absolute arse not to tell you where he's taking them. That's so horrible of him, the arse. How old are your DC?

PumpkinP · 11/08/2019 22:54

Hmm for me it’s the opposite, not getting a break as my ex doesn’t see the children (his own choice) I don’t think he needs to tell update you on what he is doing with them unless you do with him??

megletthesecond · 11/08/2019 23:06

That's really shitty of him not saying where they're going Flowers. I never understand that weird controlling behaviour.

My worst thing about the 6 weeks is not getting a break. I'm either at work or with the dc's, I work 3 days a week so usually have two days to do errands and tidy up without them around. It's only week three and I'm already feeling weepy. Roll on first week of September.

eve34 · 12/08/2019 06:59

It is so quiet without the children at home. It must be a big adjustment for two weeks. I don't have this situation but I'm sure at some point in the future it will occur to my ex he should spend more time with his children other than his 24 hours twice a month

My mum use to decorate when we were away. She must of been really lonely looking back. No internet. Phone was expensive. Etc.

Hope you have some plans to get you through. And they will soon be back

It is good the children have phone at least you can send generic messages just to touch base with them. Although not nice feeling if ex's gf checks the phones I'm sure you just keep it light and you know they are ok

Original poster
peonyfairy03 · 12/08/2019 07:03

Thank you for the reply’s. Yes decorating and tidying bedrooms.

I don’t heed to know what they are doing but where they are staying would be a good idea just incase anything happens I would like to be able to get to them.

OP posts:
PollyPelargonium52 · 12/08/2019 10:38

Only half way through and feels forever lol. Ds is 14 now so no more childminder. He went to his dad's for a week last week.

I can't believe it is still 3 more weeks to go and he is at such an ungrateful and non empathic age too lol.

Original poster
peonyfairy03 · 12/08/2019 11:33

I know. It’s going do quick. I miss just chatting to them and the routine and kissing them goodnight. They are 13 and 15 now so not little children.

OP posts:
BigmouseLittlehouse · 12/08/2019 14:59

Hi @peonyfairy03 - I actually posted about this just the other day. My DC are away for 10 nights ( they are just little 7 and 4) with their dad. Like you I know it’s good for them but it is so hard - particularly in the holidays when everyone else tends to be away or doing things with their children. I hope the time passes quickly for you and you get into the swing of things - I’m doing quite a bit of tidying Wink.

stucknoue · 12/08/2019 15:03

Use the time to do things for you. I'm not immune to missing my kids (a bit older so one is at university) but I quickly realised I can't rely on them for company now h wants a divorce - no way would I go straight into a serious relationship but just shopping around can be fun Grin plus I'm doing more social activities just for me

megletthesecond · 19/08/2019 12:06

Week 5. The dc's aren't sleeping until gone 11pm.

I've had it up to here. No one is having much fun, I'm back to work this week and the house is like a bearpit.
My two are so much happier during term time. I can physically tire them out but not mentally tire them so they're just cranky all the time. I wish holiday clubs could include some teaching or protect work.

Mumanon72 · 19/08/2019 20:58

It is so frustrating when they will not tell you anything but if you know he is safe with his Dad then don’t worry :)
Just want to say how blessed you and your son are that his Dad will take him over the school holidays so they can spend quality time together and so that you can have a break! I’d do anything for my son to have that much quality time with his Dad.

TeuchterTraveller · 19/08/2019 21:08

Kids are back at school here now (Scotland), missing lazy days with them and not enjoying the morning rush, dashing to clubs and being back at work!

Fabulousinmyforties · 19/08/2019 21:17

MIne are back from their dad, they had a boring time and now having lots of friends over and enjoying being back at home.

I work from home and am finding it exhausting juggling children and work and the constant entertaining/requests for trips to the park/food/sorting out squabbles.

We are off on holiday abroad on Saturday, my lovely brother is coming along to help me out with the kids (they are aged 11, 10 and 6 so getting easier to deal with).

It’s also quite lonely passing the days with children but without a partner.

ExH won’t see them again till October half term now, when the DC will get to meet his new wife. Ugh.

boredboredboredboredbored · 20/08/2019 06:58

Not telling you is disgusting but for me it's the opposite. I work full time (nurse) and have have 2 dc (14 & 15). Exh has already been away with his wife for 2 weeks in Mexico, our dc have not had any time with him apart from this weekend he is taking them for 4 days to see his mother in Wales.

I took mine away for a week but apart from that I've got to work. I wish he would take them away or at least spend more time with them in the holidays.

boredboredboredboredbored · 20/08/2019 07:00

Mumanon I don't think the op is blessed at all!! Shouldn't all fathers be seeing their dc? Blessed my arse!

Parent999 · 20/08/2019 09:35

He doesn't have to tell you where they are when his children are in his care. It would be nice though. Do you report to him on where you take them?

Original poster
peonyfairy03 · 20/08/2019 10:19

Yes I do because my DD has allergies and needs Epipen so if anything was to happen I know that he knows exactly where I am also if something happens to me he can get the children. I understand that he doesn’t have to tell me where they are going but I thought it would just be polite.

OP posts:
megletthesecond · 20/08/2019 10:55

Of course the other parent should let the other know where they are when they're on holiday or a day out. It's basic co-parenting.

Parent999 · 20/08/2019 11:31

Im not told where my child is when she is with my ex. Id of course like to know and it would be the ideal situation, but I do understand that either I trust my ex to care for our child or I dont. Knowing where they are is a nice to have but unfortunately isnt the case

PumpkinP · 20/08/2019 14:50

I’m
Sorry but I agree with Mumanon72, yes all fathers should take their children but a lot of them dont I would love a break in the holidays, but my ex doesn’t want to see them. There are worst things in the world than a father actually seeing and taking his kids! If he wasn’t then I’m sure the op would be on here complaining he is a dead beat. As for the telling him where you are I really doubt that.

combatbarbie · 20/08/2019 15:08

Why is OW checking their phones, if I were them at their age, I'd not be handing it over!

Original poster
peonyfairy03 · 20/08/2019 15:37

I always tell him if I take the children away. My post was only about how I find it hard when they are away for two weeks as I feel a bit redundant as a mum. It wasn’t meant to upset anyone.

OP posts:
combatbarbie · 20/08/2019 19:50

Ah don't worry OP, I'm a bit lost this week as DH and DDs have gone away as I am working...... Bit crap coming back to an empty house, i enjoyed the first 2 days pottering/chilling now I'm a bit lost. And have also been a SP with no break except when my parents took eldest when I went home.

I don't think your being unreasonable to ask where they are but if he's being an arse then don't go out of your way if he ever asks in future.

Original poster
peonyfairy03 · 20/08/2019 20:22

Combatbarbie thank you. I’ve never had such a clean house. Or walked the dog so much. Be glad when Monday is here to have them back.

OP posts:
Mumanon72 · 26/08/2019 20:08

Yes in an ideal world but a lot of Dads don’t bother having their kids so yes it is a blessing.

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