Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Original poster

When did you start dating again?

31 replies

singlemamalove · 05/09/2018 15:45

Just wondering when do you think is a good time to start dating again as a single parent?

How old was your child?

OP posts:
megletthesecond · 05/09/2018 17:12

A decade and I haven't. Sorry.
Too tired and no babysitters.
I might attempt it when they go to Uni in a few years time. Once I've caught up on sleep Hmm.

Lofo · 05/09/2018 17:23

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

Rebecca36 · 05/09/2018 17:27

When you feel read (as Lofo says), but keep the dates separate from home, quite private. No point in introducing someone into your family if the relationship is going nowhere. Also very nice to have a secret life!

Enjoy.

rightknockered · 05/09/2018 17:38

As soon as I wanted sex again, to put it bluntly

NoArmaniNoPunani · 05/09/2018 17:46

My DH died in November and I've just started seeing someone.

flyingsaucersherbet · 05/09/2018 17:47

Ds is 6, and my ex left when I was pregnant. I started seeing someone just before his birthday. Didn’t feel like I had the energy until then!

Newsofas · 05/09/2018 17:48

I waited a year and then took it very slowly. It is really upto you. I felt I needed to spend a year focusing 100% on my kids after my exH walked out on me.

Lofo · 05/09/2018 17:54

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

Seniorschoolmum · 05/09/2018 18:04

One relationship, started when ds was three. It ended when he told me I would have to “send ds to his father’s more often if our relationship was to progress”.

He lasted about 40 seconds after that. Grin

No one since although I have browsed PoF a couple of times recently.

Creeper8 · 05/09/2018 18:25

Im not going to be meeting anyone but I do get surprised how quick others do.

weekendninja · 05/09/2018 19:14

2.5 years for dating. A few FWB arrangements during the 2.5 years which I totally needed!

Fireandflames666 · 09/09/2018 08:52

It's been 20 months for me and I'm still not interested in dating. I had a complete mental breakdown after my last and only relationship and I wouldn't want to put myself or my children through that ever again. It's just not worth it.

Matilda1981 · 09/09/2018 08:59

I had the odd online date a few months after splitting up with my ex, it was just for a bit of fun really and was nice to go out occasionally (my ex has the children every other weekend so I only went out on the weekends I was on my own). There wasn’t anything serious for a good couple of years as I really didn’t want anything serious for a couple of years and then my current DP came along (although I had known him all of the time I was single but didn’t realise how he felt about me and vice versa until we had a few drinks together in the pub one night with a load of other friends!) and we’re having a baby and are engaged. My other two children and 5 and 6 and I split up with their dad when they 1 and 2 so they can’t really remember a time where me and ex lived together, life as they know it now is the norm! I think it all depends on what sort of circumstances you are single, how old your children are, if you are mentally ready etc - I don’t think there is a set time!

Seriously79 · 09/09/2018 09:32

I dated on and off about a year after ex husband left, DS was only a year and it was only when he was with my parents for a evening.

My son never met anyone until he was 8. I met my now boyfriend and I just knew it was going to get good, and it did. Son and boyfriend met quite soon and hit it off immediately. I've now bought a house with boyfriend and we are all finding our way forwards as a family of 3, hoping that we will be 4 in the near future.

When you know, you know. Trust your gut x

Pixikitten0123 · 09/09/2018 13:19

I’ve been single now for 6 months, had a brief one night stand with and old friend and currently just about to enter into a FWB situation with someone I’ve known for 20 years. He definitely wants more but currently I’m happy with the current arrangement. I have to admit that the sex part was scary to begin with but being told that I’ve actually got an amazing body for my age that most 20 year olds would kill for is very flattering - confidence took a huge knock after discovering ex h’s affair with someone 10 years older - so I’ve decided to just enjoy getting my kicks with no strings 😂

Littlesparrow0 · 14/09/2018 11:45

@matilda9981 how did you manage as a single mum with both your children being so close in age and so young when you separated from your partner.
There will be 1yr between my two kids when this one is born but I'm thinking of leaving my partner. I'm just afraid of being a single mum esp with them being so young and close together in age

Littlesparrow0 · 14/09/2018 11:46

Sorry the above comment is for @matilda1981

Ginorchoc · 14/09/2018 11:49

I couldn’t in my daughters early years as no childcare and energy so spent all my 30s single and now early 40s still single and have big regrets as it meant I didn’t have anymore children. Don’t wait as long as me.

sanssherif · 14/09/2018 11:53

3 yrs and wont be doing for at least 10 years. The kids need my attention, I dont want to dump them with a babysitter for a bloke. If i needed sex id do some daytime liasons but i dont.
It would just be the relationship equivalent of same shit different day. Cant be arsed investing energy in something which will only take away the time i have.
Dont see why women are often desperate for another boyfriend when they are single.
Good luck to those who do want someone else though

7415N1d0r1391117 · 14/09/2018 11:59

I had zero intentions of meeting anymore. I wasn’t fussed, I was too busy working and looking after my eldest son. However, my eldest son was only 16 months when a close friend of mine begged to set me up on a date (I had declined a previous offer) so I just thought screw it, I could do with a free meal Grin long story short, I’m still with that date and it’s been a few years !

7415N1d0r1391117 · 14/09/2018 12:03

I never ever thought I’d meet anyone for a loooong time but they say you meet someone when you least expect it Hmm

Just to add I wasn’t with my eldest sons father since I was 16 weeks pregnant so I was “single” a little while before meeting anyone.
I would have honestly laughed if anyone told me I’d meet someone that soon!!

revoveryishard · 14/09/2018 12:17

Its been 2.5 years for me and still single, no dates and I find OLD soul destroying. The only guy I've met who I really fancy give me all the right signals but doesn't seem to follow through. Everyone says it will happens when you least expect it- not sure how as I do t go out drinking, don't work, can't go out to clubs in the week as I have the kids and only get EOW free. I flit between wanting someone then not. Exh was an abusive twat so I have some trust issues and don't know if I want the drama of a relationship.

Creeper8 · 14/09/2018 14:28

Dont see why women are often desperate for another boyfriend when they are single.
Good luck to those who do want someone else though

Not a popular opinion but I agree! always amazed at how quickly some women are back dating again.

NoArmaniNoPunani · 14/09/2018 18:59

For me it's because I didn't have a negative experience with my marriage, he just died.

Airflight303 · 15/09/2018 12:34

Not quite sure why there is so much negativity surrounding women who want to date soon after seperation or divorce.
Men jump into dating/relationships straight away, so why would it be different for women?
Why isn't it acceptable to get a babysitter once in a while and go on some dates?
Why do women always say you can't meet anyone straight away, why not?
As long as the children are loved/well cared for I don't see product a problem at all.
I am aware that everyone has their own personal opinions on this, but it just seems that it's a big no no in society.