Should I move back to the UK?

[Nicola5714]

I know they say that kids should not move countries too often but was wondering whether in my case the situation is slightly different.

A few months ago I was living in the UK where my daughter was born 7 yrs ago. I had to move back home to my family in Sicily where I have all the family/friends support but quality of life is not as good. Eg food standards and choice, places to visit, choice of shops, activities etc....

I had to leave the UK as due to serious mental issues my ex was becoming a danger to us and would have found me wherever I moved within the UK . I do have his family there but I was still isolated as did not have friends.

My question is when my daughter is a bit older say 12/13 (so she won't need full time childcare) would it be ok to move back to uk to make a new life (away from my ex but hoping he would have sought treatment by then) there provided I can find work and afford the accommodation?

My daughter asked me whether we will ever go back to UK possibly on holiday and I said maybe when she is a teenager.

Any advice appreciated.

[Scoopofchaff]

Sorry you have had to endure such a tough situation op

Speaking as a British expat living in continental Europe with a teen in state education here, I think it would be quite challenging for you to move back to the UK in future.

1 because of Brexit and all the attendant problems that will bring (do you and your daughter have dual nationality?)

2 because of the issues surrounding moving a teen at the most crucial point of their education (is your child in school locally, or at an international school? If the latter, it might be easier, although her friendships would be disrupted and they are important stuff that age. If the former, educationally speaking, I think it would be very very difficult to change systems/curriculums so late on.)

Leaving the other disadvantages aside, you can't put a price on having your family and friends around you. I miss my family hugely. And I imagine that as a lone parent, family support is even more crucial.

Good luck with whatever you decide op.

[Scoopofchaff]

"important stuff" should read "inportant at"

[IfyouseeRitaMoreno]

Personally I would stay as far away from ex for as long as possible.

Also it’s only been a few months in Sicily. Give yourself time to adapt. You have family and friends around you. Moving back to the UK could be isolating and moving to a new school at that age not the best.

[Starlight345]

I would build your life there with no plans to return. Your family is there , support is needed much more than child care and in teen years potientally involvement from abusive ex it potentially very damaging

[Lostalot]

we moved back to be nearer family in similar circumstances (within the uk though) Its taken a long time to settle and build a life for us, its not perfect as its not where I thought I/we would be, but i am glad we did. It will take time, try not to look to far in to the future, look at the positives, one day you will realise you have not thought about moving for a while, slowly things will get better and you will realise you have built a new life for yourself and your child. It will be hard, have its ups and downs, you will do it.

[Nicola5714]

Hi Scoopofchaff. Thanks for your advice. No problem re Brexit as dual nationality. She is in an English-speaking school. Education levels here actually more advanced so she struggled a bit and had to repeat a year (esp coz of Maths).

I do feel grateful that I am living with my family who are helpful but oftentimes I also do feel very claustrophobic with all the limitations of a small island.

Then I guess beggars can't be choosers