School unhappy with ds6's attendance, help!

[AgentScully91]

Hi everyone, this is my first mumsnet post. I've been a Cafemom member for years now but I need advice from British mums, our school system/laws being different to America.

I have a list of chronic health problems as long as my arm, including chronic pain. Through the colder months I was struggling to get going in the mornings and we were getting to school just after 9 instead of 8.55. Then ds had an unfortunate series of various viruses, including one which was so serious he was hospitalized for suspected meningitis.

I've had to call him out of school again this morning because he's got a temperature, up all night coughing and keeps crying because he feels so miserable. We've got a new head and I can tell by her tone when I called this morning that they're losing patience. I offered to get a drs note but I'm worried they'll call social services. Can anyone offer any advice? Everything just looks bad on paper because I'm a single parent and we've struggled to hold everything together the past couple of years, my own health is really poor while I'm battling for a diagnosis and I've needed help from family to care for ds. TIA

Also I'm in Wales if that makes a difference to anything.

What is his attendance like?

I don't know about Wales but in England the most likely course of action would be calling a meeting in school to discuss the issue and what could be done to improve the attendance - including what support you may need.

The regularly being late is more likely to be part of the issue as schools are keen on punctuality as well as attendance. Can you change mornings so you plan to get to school by 8.45 to give yourself more leeway for when things don't go to plan? Ds is generally first one at his door each morning because I know when we are having a bad day that then gives us leeway to make sure he is still on time.

I'm sorry you are all poorly.

The UK system tends to be mathematical. Once a certain number of absences have been recorded you often get a certain letter. Lots of posts on mumsnet about how grumpy these letters can feel; often they aren't personalised very much for the circumstances of a particular family,

Do you think your particular family might need more help at the moment? If so, maybe ask for it?
So for instance social services.. why be afraid of a referral there? I am pretty sure there isn't a social worker out there thinking they aren't busy enough and they would love an extra large family to look after! Pretty certain that a little tardiness and lateness makes you nowhere near the referral threshold.
but you can ask for help if you would like it at the moment. Ask as the school? Or you gp/health visitor.
Hope your little one is feeling better soon.