teenage boys

[Tigger2016]

What do you do when you are afraid of upsetting your 16 year old son in case he becomes verbally abusive and violent - please don't judge - am on my own with 18 year old son with autism 2 year old daughter and zero family / friends / support

Seek outside help - school, GP, youth counselling services, family counselling. Have school raised concerns about his behaviour?

School haven't raised concerns - he's just a hormonal teen - I get that. But the other stuff is out of order

It's a horrible situation to be in, I've been there although I did have friends and family to talk to at the time.

Have you tried Homestart? I know they offer family support but I'm not sure whether it's a 24 hour service. I've had to call the police on DS in the past, although he was a bit older. I felt that he had to know he couldn't just say and do whatever he liked with no consequences. If you can try Homestart ASAP, they may be able to offer advice on steps you can take, but don't be afraid of calling the police on him. Yours won't be the first angry teenage boy they've had to deal with and maybe a stern talking to will be enough to make him think twice.

You need to protect yourself and your other DC.

I'd definitely raise it with school or the GP and see if they can signpost you to relevant services in your area. It sounds like more than "hormonal teen" to me but probably not too difficult to resolve.

I have had the police have a word with him a few months ago - he calmed down for a but afterwards - he's calmed down now

I'm glad he's calmer now. Perhaps when you have a chance of some quiet time together, just the two of you, you can have a chat about things - how he's getting on with friends, school, any hobbies/sports etc. I've found I seem to be able to get a lot closer and more understanding (and my DC do too) when we can chat easily when the stress/anxiety isn't there.