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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

Anyone else happy being single?

28 replies

Mumanddadtoone · 31/03/2016 17:22

Hi, I'm a single mum to a 5 year old boy with non verbal autism. I split with my sons father just over 2 years ago (we were together almost 20 years). Ds no longer has contact with his father due to his fathers lifestyle choices (drugs/alcohol dependency).

Most of my friends (all in relationships) think I'm weird because I don't want another partner. I love it being just my son and me, don't get me wrong it can be bloody hard work especially with his special needs but I definitely don't want a relationship. Does anyone else feel this way or am I weird?

OP posts:

HairSlide · 31/03/2016 17:29

I've been single for nearly 5 years now with 6yo DS.

I have been really content with just DS and I with no desire to get into another relationship. Its nice just suiting ourselves what we get up to and how we want to do things.

More recently I have decided I would like to meet someone to go out with and spend time with but I don't really want my home life to change so wouldnt be looking.to settle down.

Im happy with that choice and ot grates on me when I get told not to worry because,"someone special will come along soon" as if I'm not capable of enjoying my life or my son without a man to lean on.

cosytoaster · 31/03/2016 17:42

I'm happy on my own, am also a lone parent, though kids are now in their teens. I just don't think I'm cut out for relationships and have been on my own too long to want to compromise. The only thing that's difficult is managing on one income, otherwise tis all good

Original poster

Mumanddadtoone · 31/03/2016 17:48

Thank you both for replying, the only thing I miss is sex but tbh I don't even have time for a fwb as I very rarely get a babysitter. It really doesn't bother me being on my own and I too think I'm just not cut out for relationships. Glad to hear I'm not the only one

OP posts:

hownottofuckup · 31/03/2016 17:50

Yep much happier not having to factor in another adult. I find them far too difficult.
Don't even miss sec tbh!

madmother1 · 31/03/2016 17:52

And me too! I'm quite content on my own with my teenage children. I have a great circle of friends and keep myself busy. I just miss the sex

BlackeyedSusan · 31/03/2016 20:26

me too. I am in charge and that is that. mind you ythe children are still fairly young. will change when they are teenagers.

NellWilsonsWhiteHair · 31/03/2016 20:34

Me too. My son is nearly four and I've been mostly single since my pregnancy. Had a couple of relationships last year (three months each) and though there were lovely things about each of them, I did learn that - for now at least - I just don't have space for a relationship, and I'm happy to stay that way for the foreseeable future.

I love how easy it is, just us two. I love that when he's in bed in the evening, my time is my own to do as I please and answer to no one. I love our little flat together.

At the moment, I don't get as much time with him, or alone, as I would like - he's almost ten full hours in nursery five days a week - so I'm definitely not looking to give up any of our precious time together, or any of my precious alone time, to spend with someone else. Even if they were the most amazing person ever.

Atenco · 31/03/2016 20:38

Yeap, I've been on my own for over thirty years now and perfectly happy. I wouldn't have minded if I'd found someone perfect, but I couldn't be pissed with anything short of that.

Flowerpower41 · 01/04/2016 07:01

Love being single can't beat it and wouldn't change it for the world. Too much compromise if you ask me. I find men very limiting.

Flowerpower41 · 01/04/2016 07:01

I think this is an increasing trend demographically.

Fink · 01/04/2016 07:09

Me too. DD is 6, we've been split since she was 18 months. I'd never have left ex-H, but him leaving me was one of the best things to ever happen to me. Have no desire to be in a relationship again. I'm too selfish independent to want to compromise.

Don't even miss the sex. I might become a nun once dd has grown up. Seriously!

Baconyum · 01/04/2016 07:12

Single 13 years and counting here, agree with most of the above. As for sex there are ways of getting needs met when necessary

Intheprocess · 01/04/2016 07:18

Now that the social stigma of being single is diminishing, and thanks to the financial support the State gives single parents, those of us who can find other people hard work can get on by ourselves much easier. The further away I am from my failed marriage the less I find I want a new ltr. Not committed to a single life, but with DC and work and a small group of pals I'm not feeling a real need for more. Miss sex, but not so much I'm prepared to stress myself out by being in a relationship I don't really want to be in.

Original poster

Mumanddadtoone · 01/04/2016 11:22

It's nice to hear from so many happy single parents, I love that I get to choose what we do and when we do it and I don't think I could ever give up those precious few hours each evening when ds is in bed and I get my alone time, sometimes I think my friends and family don't get that being alone does not equal lonely

OP posts:

Flowerpower41 · 01/04/2016 15:23

Well my ds goes to bed at 10 pm now he is 11 so he goes to bed the same time as me.

I think it was more lonely when he was younger but once they are older it is much easier I can honestly say I never feel lonely.....!

Eviesmummy2011 · 05/04/2016 20:01

I honestly couldn't be happier. Parted from my 5 year olds father when I was 24 weeks pregnant and have never been involved, nor want to be involved with anyone since. He put me off for life 😂😂😂😂 but seriously I just love this single life.. and life with my little girl :-)

backonthebikeagain · 06/04/2016 20:52

I was very happy on my own. I was single for 4 years before meeting someone earlier this year. I'm happier now!

I would also be happy going back to my old life. I think thats why it works IYSWIM

iluvshoes · 07/04/2016 20:29

I love being single. My son is now 12 so its a bit easier. Ive also just seen the pictures on Facebook of my sons dad with his phillipino Lady and it makes me laugh. I wouldnt give up my current life for another man in a hurry.

cupcakesandwine · 07/04/2016 21:50

I love living alone with my teenage DCs. I was married for far too many years to a needy EA narc who cheated. Oh the peace of not having to pander to someone else!

I'm not giving up my lovely home life for any bloke now!

NellyTimes · 07/04/2016 21:55

Me too! Been separated for nearly 5 years and exh has been NC for 4. Have an 8 year old dd and a 6 year old ds and I bloody love it.

Yes I miss regular sex and a second income would be nice but I manage without both. I'm so much happier than I ever was before and have made so many new friends since being single.

PrancingQueen · 10/04/2016 23:17

I just miss having a second income and someone to take the bins out!
I'm happy on my own - I have good friends, I work, and my DS, now he's 3 is becoming better company by the day
It would take a very special man to fit in with this, and I really can't be arsed.
All my friends with husbands/partners seem to moan about them constantly anyway.
Very happily single here!

dulcefarniente · 20/04/2016 08:08

Totally agree with Prancing I rarely see a relationship that I'd want to havè myself. I have to restrain myself when people have spent most of a conversation offloading about how crap their relationships are then turn to the happily single person to ask you when you might start dating and trying to reassure you that you will find someone.

Lweji · 20/04/2016 08:14

I do miss the company sometimes and having someone to stay with ds when I need to work late or away.

But I do value going where I want when I want to and do what I want.
It would have to be a special person to get in my life on a regular and significant manner.

BurningBright · 22/04/2016 13:23

I've been single for ten years this month.

Occasionally I idly consider the possibility that it might be quite nice to meet someone special, but he would have to be REALLY special and I am definitely not actively looking.

DD and I are pretty happy as we are. I love my independence. I make my own decisions and don't have to compromise to keep a man happy (compromising for my daughter's sake is different). I love sleeping alone in a big bed and I have full custody of the remote control! I really don't think I could share a home with another man, to be honest.

(I do sometimes miss sex though. Ten years is a long time. Not sure I'd remember what to do now, though... Do they come with instructions on the packet? )

snugglybear · 22/04/2016 21:22

Reading this thread with interest.

Those who don't want (or have time for) a relationship, but have found a fwb or something along those lines.. something like 10 tips for single parents who just want sex would be really handy

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