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Lone parents

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Original poster

Child care - who pays?!

15 replies

charlybear7 · 20/01/2016 14:09

So my ex sees my children every other wkend and one day in the wk. Great!

However he goes away with work quite a bit so who pays for the childcare for the day in the week when he's away?

Unsurprisingly he says i should sort it and pay it but I say he should!

Any opinions and advice please?

OP posts:
BooChickpea · 20/01/2016 15:00

Surely if it's his day/weekend then he should pay? Or if he can't do his arranged day/weekend then can you swap with him? Seems like his being a bit unreasonable expecting you to pay..

Original poster
charlybear7 · 20/01/2016 15:21

I think so too! He goes away all wk maybe for a few wks at a time, so not even able to swap the days around! The weekends aren't an issue its just the day in the wk he has them!

If I book them in childcare and I pay then I don't see why when he's around he takes them out of childcare when I'm paying for it! Unfortunately if they're booked in and don't go then you still have to pay as they're taking up a space!

So surely he should just pay?! I thinking he won't and he'll take me back to court! But would he have a leg to stand on?!

OP posts:
BooChickpea · 20/01/2016 15:27

Oh the whole paying even when they aren't there drives me nuts but I understand why nurseries have to do it... Why won't he pay for his days?? Seems unreasonable to be honest...I can't see why he'd have a stronger case in law than you!

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 20/01/2016 15:29

Why isn't he paying his share of it anyway?

SuperCee7 · 20/01/2016 15:33

Is your LO in paid childcare the rest f the week? If so that should be 50:50 and if not then he should be sorting childcare for that day - if he needs to pay for that then so be it

Original poster
charlybear7 · 20/01/2016 15:37

He says child maintenance covers child care costs and he won't pay it!!?!

I'll be working 2 days a wk, currently on mat leave!

OP posts:
TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 20/01/2016 16:29

He is legally only obliged to pay the costs calculated under the CSA agreement. Do you have one?

If he doesn't pay for childcare on the days where your child is legally resident with him then he needs to be there in person to provide it.

Call his bluff and suggest that you are perfectly happy to see him in court rather than continue to waste your money.

Original poster
charlybear7 · 20/01/2016 19:12

Currently going through cms to get some money off him but even he's disputing the amount with them now so it's being dragged out - like the whole mess of a situation he left us in!

We've agreed amongst ourselves he'll see the children (5 yrs old and 7 months old) one day a wk but not overnight! So is that still classed as legally resident?

I just don't see why I should pay childcare costs when he's away!

I've said he can either see them on that day or if he can't I'll pay for childcare and he won't see them! Do you think that's fair?!

OP posts:
BooChickpea · 20/01/2016 21:34

If the children don't stay overnight then it's not counted as "residing" with him.

Sorry to be blunt but it sounds like you're well-rid of him, it's not like you're asking for anything unreasonable. It's ridiculous that he's not paying childcare on his days. Let CMS sort it but keep on at them!

Flowerpower41 · 21/01/2016 06:58

Personally I think you are expecting a lot to ask him to pay the childcare as you are getting plenty of help as it is against most lone parents.

You will be lucky if you can get it though!

throwingpebbles · 21/01/2016 07:03

Having the same battle with my ex!!!! Very similar. Everyone, mediator, my lawyer etc agrees he should fund childcare if he is away on his day but he thinks i should.....

All summer he did this and wouldn't even bother giving me any notice half the time!

ninja · 21/01/2016 07:04

He should be paying 50% of the childcare. Anyone who says your lucky needs to really think about it.

Unless he earns a lot chances are that CM won't be enough to cover, and why should he have the advantage of both the money and the time.

Original poster
charlybear7 · 21/01/2016 13:16

Exactly ninja!

I'll happily pay for childcare when I'm back at work but if he sees them in the wk and the goes away one wk back the next etc etc then I can't pay for a full time childcare place when he'll then not use it and have the children when he wants!

For me it's either all or nothing! I work my job and hours around my children, why can't he?!

OP posts:
ittooshallpass · 23/01/2016 07:07

He should pay for childcare if he can't have them on a day he's meant to have them, but don't know how you make him.

My ex pays nothing towards childcare, never has never will... grrr... I shudder to think how much money has been wasted through (his) changed plans.

But hey... I've got my DD and she's fab 😀

PennyHasNoSurname · 23/01/2016 07:15

I would only pay for childcare on the days they are in your care.

If they are supposed to be in his care and he isnt there the care for them then he needs to arrange appropriate childcare and pay for it.

As a Lone Parent you are able to claim for help with childcare - and it can be up to 70% of your costs so Id look into that.

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