Shared custody of 3 year

[MsPepsi]

My dd is 3.5. For the past year she went weds night, sat, sun night to her dads. I found that over time this became difficult so we've been doing tues, weds and sat. It's worked perfectly. But now he's saying he wants proper 50/50. So 3 nights, then 4 bights. I'm in such a as place thinking about this. I don't have a problem with it, as he's a fab dad, but I don't want to screw my dd up. She already calls mine mummy's house and then her dads daddy's house, so neither is home.

What do others do? Think?

My DC say mummy's house and daddy's house but both houses are "home". Maybe trial it for a few weeks, see how it goes?

How old are your DC?

I have no issue him having her that frequent, I just don't want her to feel unsettled. I'm also clueless as to what split is best?

I think it's fine good even if it's what your DD wants but it gets problematic when it's about suiting parents needs.

My parents had near 50/50 split and it was not fun. Neither of them packed stuff for me assuming the other had enough. My dad bless him couldn't brush my hair, a small thing but something that bothered me a lot. There was too much obvious albeit polite animosity between them, I felt guilty whoever I was with or was without. I wanted to see my friends after school but I was expected to go and have dinner with my dad (in a very formal, let's talk way)

In my experience I didn't feel I had a home. I moved out at 17 with my now husband and I couldn't wait to 'settle' and make a home!

That turned into a personal rant but don't be scared to say no if you think your LO will be happier.

We've had our arrangement since my youngest was 15 months. We split the weeknights equally and then alternate weekends. If he's already having her 3 nights a week then it's only one extra night a fortnight. Try it, see how it goes. We tried a few variations of 50/50 til we settled on this one. We tried having one day at the weekend each and we tried a different pattern in the week but it works best to have the days in one chunk rather than chopping and changing.

I do wonder what the issue is with him for one night a fortnight? is this a money issue?

At 3.5 in a year she will be preparing to start school so what ever you agree I think you need to think about how you will both get quality time once she is at school