How and when to introduce new man to dc's?

[Nevergoingtolearn]

My dc's are 9 and 11, I separated from their father a few months ago. I am casually seeing someone else ( not serious yet but maybe one day ), because I can't get child care I rarely get time to see him as I try and see him when the dc's are at their dads ( a few hours on a Sunday ), new bloke lives quite far away which makes things a bit tricky. I know it's too soon to introduce a new man into our home but when the time comes how do I go about introducing them? How did you introduce your new man to the kids?

It would be nice if eventually he could stay over at the weekend and we could spend a day doing something with the dc's and then a day with just us ( when dc's are at their dads ) but I know it could be quite a while before this happens.

I wouldn't introduce him until you are serious and you have firm plans for how you will manage the distance. Will he move to you? I can't imagine long distance will work in the long term.

Also if it's only been a few months since you split with your DCs dad I would be even more cautious - that's a lot of change for them.

I used to have a similar relationship. He used to stay in a hotel nearby so that we could spend some time together when my DC went to their dads.

He's not a huge distance away but far enough to make it hard for him just to pop over. He is willing to move, his job means he can work almost anywhere. Obviously at this stage it's not that serious ( or not for me anyway, he would probably move straight in if he could ). At the moment I can cope with seeing him once a week but in the future it would be nice to spend a night with him. He seems quite keen on meeting the dc's but for me it's way too soon after their father left and they are still getting used to the fact he's not here ( though they have coped extremely well and rarely ask for him ).