Putting it here too...
Back story:
Ex was emotionally abusive, convicted of harrassment and given restraining order. Found out in court ex has 5 assault convictions, later revealed by solicitor that some where against women. There was DV once but mostly DA. DD was born and I wrote to organise to offer visitation through solicitor. Did not hear back for 6 weeks. Got my solicitor to chase up and finally organise contact. Ex meets DD when she is 3 months for first time. Is generally intimidating and talks to me through DD. 2nd visit ex delays by a week then changes times of arrival. Is very late due to trains. Third visit I waited for an hour before rining solicitor she chases up turns out Ex sent a letter than morning (when he could have rang or emailed) saying he couldn't attend. Solicitor says I should cut off visitation I disagree. 4th visit changes dates again. After a few months solicitors want to close case and organise a definite date and time. Because ex lives far away he comes monthly this is understandable as the travel is expensive but I did mention before be finalised the dates and times that he could ask for more and I would be agreeable. Solicitor says to me that if he doesn't turn up now to cancel, phone number is given to contact if he will be late etc. He uses this to cancel and reorganise contact, he has cancelled 4 times since the visitation was finalised and 5x in total he has only seen our daughter 14 times in 22 months. Excuses have been questionable one being his brothers wedding which i found out was the week after, one being money, no hotels etc i think he would book these in advance? One was not specified and one was a "seminar" for university. DD is now nearly 2 she understands so much more, she says dad and cries when he leaves, understands when we are going to see him. He did not show the time before last (although I got a text) this time I was very mindful to not tell daughter where we were going in the buggy lest she be dissapointed. Ex is generally good with DD she seems to like him although gets bored or tired sometimes, Ex is generally ok with me now - due to restraining he must not speak to me he has been intimidating in past and spoke to daughter when a baby about things that were not age appropriate and clearly for me to hear including saying he would take daughter away and they "wouldn't need trains then" and how daughter will meet his horses etc where he lives. He is not like this now however, generally sticks to the rules. This time I tried to tell him daughter is starting to be very aware and will start to become upset from lack of inconsistency he stormed off with attitude leaving me feeling shaken. I dont want to have to let daughter make the decision at just 2 yrs but I don't want to not give her the chance to decide for herself, I want to protect her from potential emotional anguish but I want to do the right thing. I am thinking of stopping visitation AIBU?