Ahh! Can i not have a night out?

[YoureBeingASillyBilly]

Friend's birthday today and i have been invited out to a local bar for drinks. She asked me a few weeks ago. I go out about 4 times a year and if it falls on my weekend with dc then i ask my mum to babysit. This weekend however my mum is away so last friday when exp collected dc for contact i asked him if he could have them as it was a friend's birthday and i had been asked to go out. He said yes. He has just texted asking if i am going out "or anything" because apparently he has been called into work and there is no-one to babysit.

The back story however is that exp regularly tells me on his weekends that he cant have dc as work have called him in (on saturday and sunday nights and bank holiday mondays) and i always keep the DC with me. The last two times he has done this i found out from two different people that he was actually out on a nights out himself as they were with him and mentioned to me they had been out with my ex, (they obviously didnt know what he had told me).

Also his job is making security cameras- would they really need him in suddenly on a saturday evening?

What do i do? Friend has already had two friends cancel on her for this evening so if i cancel it will just be her and her sister.

Tell him yes you're still going out and you'll be dropping the kids off at X time. He's trying it on because you usually bend.. just don't bend thus time.

The dcs are already with him because his mum has contact EO saturday and she dropped them with him at hometime as she knew he was supposed to be having them tonight.

Then text him saying you're already out, so yes night out is still on.

If he didn't have form for lying about it I probably would have sucked it up. But not from what you've said.

Then become incommunicado so he has to keep kids. Or get a babysitter at your house, or invite friends round to yours for birthday drinks instead of going out.

Say "Sorry no can do. I asked you first. You'll have to find someone else to have them."

In future don't depend on him but also put your foot down this time.

There's no way he'll be at work if he just works in a factory.

Oh if they're already with him, just leave the house and leave him to it. His problem!

Thank you all. Yes i think i'll tell him i'm already out. I really dont ever ask him to do anything outside of his EOW contact but my mum is away and i wanted to celebrate with friend. Lesson learned.