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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

Raising boys and sport.....

15 replies

shey02 · 13/01/2014 11:35

My ds is 12 and not into team sports, although he plays raquet sports with his mates, swims and does a fair bit of extreme sports with us as a family. Some of my friends have insinuated that he should play rugby or football (he did play the latter for 2 years, but quit as he no longer enjoyed it), especially since his siblings are girls and I am a mum raising them all.......

DS's father is in the picture in a positive way though largely absent due to his career and ds gets on well with my dp. But this sport thing gets mentioned alot and it is starting to bug me.... DS is a great kid and gives us no trouble, but I want to be the best parent that I can, so what's everyone's take on that then?

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Ragwort · 13/01/2014 11:41

Well as a parent who spends most Saturdays, Sundays and weeknights chauffering my 12 year old round to various team sports I would count yourself lucky .

I suppose there are various advantages to learning to play as a 'team' but in the general scheme of things I wouldn't think it is essential. There is absolutely no point in forcing a child to play a sport he/she doesn't like. I think some from of physical activity is very good for children but as your DS does racquet sports, swimming and extreme sports surely that is fine. He has tried football and found that it's not for him - lots of boys don't even try any sports.

AmberLeaf · 13/01/2014 11:41

I think your friends are being a bit silly.

your son sounds like an active child with the sports he is doing already. Team sports are not for everyone.

HowYaLikeThemApples · 13/01/2014 11:42

I've got 3 DS and none of them play football or rugby or even watch it on the TV. My middle DS played football at a before-school-club until just before Christmas when he told me he didn't want to do it any more. No particular reason, just didn't want to. They don't have to like these sports just because they're boys. Your DS has male role models so he's not missing out there by the sounds of it. Ignore your friends comments if you can. Perhaps say next time how busy he is with his other sports and he wouldn't be able to fit it in?

foolonthehill · 13/01/2014 11:42

Your DS sounds fine as he is. no doubt if he wanted to play a team sport he would suggest it and you would help him access it.

Is he fit, healthy, happy? no problem

there are lots of boys who don;t want to play rugby or football...and lots of girls who do want to play team sports...

I think you are great letting your boy be the person he is not who other people think he should be.

TheGirlFromIpanema · 13/01/2014 11:44

Most boys I know have dropped out of football/rugby early on in high school unless they are good enough to regularly be picked for teams/matches, so I wouldn't sweat at all.

These --weirdos- people mentioning it will realise soon enough that they don't all continue.

Your ds is already doing the sports that the ex team players will no doubt be taking up soon

TheGirlFromIpanema · 13/01/2014 11:45

Gah.

weirdos

Strikethrough fail.

WhoGivesAMonkey · 13/01/2014 11:47

Ignore - sound like rubbish. Some boys aren't sporty. Let him be who he wants to be.

starlight1234 · 13/01/2014 14:52

he sound fine to me...A lot of people have suggested my DS should do marshall arts... Even a friend of his ( both 6) said he should do Karate...He came home and said but mum I don't want to...I told him he can do what he wants nothing to do with anyone else...

If you want to feel better about sport my DS was 4 1/2 when he realised football was on the TV and that was because he was at a friends house..

enderwoman · 13/01/2014 18:26

I'm a LP to a 12 year old son and have 2 brothers.

My brothers were short and small until they were 16 or so and played solo sports like tennis and skiing rather than footie and rugby.

My son can play footie well enough to play 5 a side with similar aged children and is petite. He doesn't belong to a team but enjoys pe so gets sport that way. He and his friends play footie and basketball for fun- especially the latter as all the parks round here have basketball nets and girls will join in with basketball.

enderwoman · 13/01/2014 18:29

I think that enjoying sport is essential in getting kids to do it and it's v interesting that you manage to do extreme sports with your children. Can I be nosy and ask what?

My children (boys and girl) go to a parkour class.

Original poster

shey02 · 13/01/2014 22:18

I'm so happy to read all the replies, it's been on my mind alot lately. And when you're a single mum, you worry that people are pointing fingers that you're not a good enough parent...... Well I do worry, I guess, I wish I had thicker skin. Ds tried the team sport thing, but he just wasn't mad about it in the end. He plays footie fine in the field and regularly scores goals during recess. He's not aware of any issues and is physically very fit. There just seems to be alot of social pressure around here to belong to a team, even to watch football...

Ds scuba and snowboard with their dd as he takes them away alot and with me it's surfing, rock climbing, mountain biking, hiking and kite surfing. He also skateboards vert ramps/bowls and such. We do those alot because we just love the outdoors and live near the coast. Now that I write it down it seems like alot, I don't know how we'd fit it in, lol! :D

OP posts:

RMPM · 14/01/2014 01:25

Oh my goodness your DS does more sports than anyone I know!!

BillyBanter · 14/01/2014 01:36

Your friends don't seem to know much about you!

Silly ideas they've got there.

Original poster

shey02 · 14/01/2014 12:13

Lol RMPM! I suppose I just think of those as things we do, rather than sport, but yes, some of my friends do make me feel quite alien when they're banging on about the Sunday game and the score and the goals, etc.... My dd says perhaps they just wish you were there again for the social aspect! Maybe she's right... All of your replies have made me feel much better, that as long as they are doing things they enjoy, that is all that matters. :)

OP posts:

wonderingsoul · 15/01/2014 17:57

your son sounds very active as it is.. so i would worry or push it unless he wants to.

for what its worth my eldest 8 does rugby on a sunday, mixture of training and match's. he loves it, he tried football and kerate but wasnt keen on ethier really..but rugby hes connected with.. i think its the running and rolling in mud that he really likes lol. and i have to admit nothing makes me pruder than watching him essp when he gets a try. ..though standing in the fecking ciold is not the nicest lol.

dont stree i t hink you and h im do alot as it is.

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