any child psychologist here? ??

[sadTinyMole]

I've got a very big problem with my daughter
Small child coming back from her mum
Swearing at me hitting me really badly kicking whenever I would say no to her

The old hv I've contacted told me it's have to be me cos of my older 7 year old son but it's not us
Because there is absolutely no hitting in our house or swearing which my daughter use

So what I'm supposed to think? ?
It is also not from tv (we don't have one)

Is my child aggressive towards me because what on earth? ?

She is so happy when she is with me but whenever she come bck from her mum its starting

Any help idea will be much appreciated Im shocked by daughter behaviour

And I just need good advices not like the one I already had from old hv because it was not very professional of her really

How old is she ?

I've also already contacted the new hv
She was very helpful give me some ideas

She told me to wait and observe
But today it really scared me when my daughter started
Kicking me in car

I've try everything I've ignored , said NO, stepped back
Nothing works

She is very small 2.5

She used words she has never learn at my house
I mean the sweary one

I should also add my older boy never kick me hit me
And he also was a quite complicated child

Are you resident parent ? How much time does she dpend with her mum and how long have you lived separately ?

Yes I am
She spent with her mum 2-3 days per week:-(

My son used to see his Dad 2 hours a fortnight and every afternoon his behaviour went downhill that afternoon...

I think the whole thing unsettled him..Do you think there are safety issues

You don't need a psychologist.

My guess is this is about change and loss and coping with this.

At 2 and a half, every week she is probably having to adjust to living in two different households, with two different parents with two different styles of parenting. Could you imagine coping with that when you are just trying to work out what this ol' world is about? It is immense change.

Also, at 2 and a half, she's learning to test boundaries. Tantrums are normal. Children lashing out at that age is not uncommon, regardless of how calm the home is.

Children lash out at those they feel safest with. It seems a bit backward, but its true. You can look into the semantics of attachment theory, but put simply, its easier to 'have a go' and the people you are closest too... we know that as adults, but as adults we can (mostly) regulate the limits of our tantrums, but it's not so easy for children.

If you want advice, mine would be to be consistent and reliable and calm. don't label your daughter as having problems at this stage, but instead come from the perspective that her behaviours are the product of her experiences. She needs boundaries and she needs routines and she needs to know, however she behaves, that you love her. Find a strategy that works when she swears, hits or kicks. She does need to know what is ok and what isn't.

regardless of my professional experiences, I have three girls and my partner has 3 children. I seen it myself and worked through it.

You do need to find a way of raising your concerns about the swearing with your ex that is productive.

Starlight well no I don't think that way

However what concern me is my daughter
copy a lot
She is in that stage right now

Daw
thank you
I try to find some more information about it

Separation issues should not be a problem well not in
Our case because we always had two households

and if I am being honest I never had deal with that kind of behaviour before

I do have admit prapobly change of the circumstances
can have big impact on my child life but from another point of view she is very happy child settled down easily
in new situations

I was just worried that such a reactions in small child
is not natural but I guess I would have to look at it from
wider perspective