Can't get through the next week.

[Inamess1]

My kids have gone to their dads for the first time for over the usual 2 nights, they've actually gone for 2 weeks and tomorrow it will be half way with one week to go. I'm really struggling to get through it, I miss them so much, I'm so lonely and house is empty. Kids want to come home but he won't let them. I'm really not coping well. I've cried every day and just don't know how to get through.

Can you keep busy - DIY or ask someone to go for lunch, cinema etc? Start your christmas shopping or deep clean their rooms?

Good idea regarding Christmas shopping. Are you DC happy OP? if they are they would want you to be. It must be hard but you need a break, spoil yourself.

2 nights to a full 2 weeks is a big difference for all of you! Has he taken them away on holiday? Is it court ordered?

I've been out with friends, cinema etc but the time just won't pass quick enough. No dc want to come back home they said we've been here for too many days. It is court ordered. The courts don't care about a 5 year old being away from mum for the first time for such along period. In my experience the courts just want the kids to see dad even if it is against their best interests. System needs shaking up.

Just spoke to my ds and he wants to come home and there is nothing I can do!

No he hasn't taken them on holiday but he lives 2 hour drive from me.

I agree with what you say about courts inamess sadly the DC have to go through this and then you can apply for a variation and the DC can say they didn't like it. Keep strong - at least this way they know where they like to be - I know that is hard now and you want to protect them but they are learning - as long as they are safe? Imagine how gutting it must be for him with his court order but no love - you have the love of your DC, they can't court order that. You sound like a great Mum and I am glad you have managed to speak to DS. Your ex is not doing himself any favours forcing this on a 5 year old will only make him dig his heels in more - your ex does not understand how real relationships are formed - you do. I know this is probably no help at all just wanted to offer you my support.

Thanks betterthanever, I agree ds will probably not want to go again for a while. He probably feels I'm telling mummy to come and get me but she won't :(

I have already decided to apply for variation because 2 weeks is just too long, it could have been a week at the beginning of the summer and then a week at the end but judge just gave ex what he wanted.

If Ds is unhappy he is probably playing up - hopefully your ex will not be having as much fun as he thought and may not want it any more either. How hands on was he before the split?

I feel your pain. I got through my first ever week without DC last month by working loads of extra hours and filling every evening with catching up with friends. But I haven't been as organised this time, so have empty time on my own and I'm really struggling - and that is without the heartbreak of knowing that my child is unhappy and wants to come home. How awful, for you and for your son.
I think you are right to try to have separate weeks in future, which should hopefully be easier for all of you.
Try to keep busy, and plan some things for you all to enjoy together once the DC are home. This time will pass.

I've planned some really nice things to do with the kids when they are back on Sunday, such as picking up a couple of cheap tents and sleeping bags so we can camp out in the garden. Ordered a swing set for them and will have it up hopefully by the time they get back.

Otherwise have been trying to keep busy, done the school uniform shopping today. Next will be stationery and then labelling everything, that should take a good few hours.

I struggle most in the evenings because I know that's when they will be missing me and ex doesn't allow them to call me.

But it's Tuesday so 5 days left.