Please can someone tell me why he wrecked everything? :'(

[MySonIsMyWorld]

why did he have to wreck everything? why didn't he just love us?
I loved him so much I tried so hard to keep us going..... why did he throw it all away....... sorry having a upset crying tired had enough time... x

Don't want to read and run. Really sorry for your sad time, and it probably won't be any comfort to say that this time next year things will seem really different and much better. Your son will grow up happier if he's not seeing negative relationship patterns in place. Can you focus on some of the less lovely things your ex did - moodiness, messiness, drinking, emotionally unavailable? I'm assuming there were some? Think how much lighter your life will seem without those around. Un-Mumsnetty hugs to you.

Thanks chick
I know we are better off without the bastard who has put us through hell but i miss him so much for some strange reason and it hurts that he doesnt want to fight for us...

Usually because they are selfish and aren't prepared to put in any effort.

The only effort he has put in is to go out with his mates on the piss and slagging me off on facebook (HATE FACEBOOK) and telling everyone ive stopped him seeing DS which is untrue....hate hate hate him!!!!! Ughhhhhhh!

For goodness sake honey, please stop looking at his Facebook.

He's a shit and you deserve better, you won't find And get better if knobhead is around.

I'm sorry I can't actually stop it hurting but please stop torturing yourself

I havent looked its what people have been telling me ive told them not too but they send me texts telling me!! :(

Thanks for your message, today is a wobbly day for some reason, think its money worries! How am i suppose to live off 57quid a week!?!

It does get easier, I promise.

Why are you being expected to live off £57 a week?

After my bills etc I have 57quid for clothes food and petrol..... its a hard struggle x

You are strong, you are amazing and you do not need to be brought down by that scum!
You are worth so much more than that.

Get yourself down to the citizens advice and make sure your getting everything you should be, get on to the Csa and start getting some cash out of knobhead.

If your friends bring him up or text just reply with "please don't its still very raw for me" and repeat.

Have you got some proper rl support, I really want to come over with wine and ice cream

Mysonismyworld....if it hurts hearing about posts be truthful to those telling you.. it is acceptable to say to people thank you but i would rather not know ...you sound like you need to concentrate on you, your ds and making sure your x pays the maintenance required to ease your financial woes. have you approached the csa? things will get better give it a little time x hope your ok x

Ive told all my friends i dont want to see or be told anymore....

I know it sounds stupid but i dont want to go to CSA because i dont want to give him the satisfaction of being able to say" i pay for my son" also he told me id be running after him for money so he can stick his 220per month up his bum!
Herrena WINE AND ICE CREAM YUMMMM why cant you live nearer? All my friends dont have children so its hard for them especially when ds is up and i have to keep going upstairs for half a hour at a time to try and settle him again...... jeeezee im only 20 and i feel like im 40 odd!

Oh myson i hope things work out for you and i know how u feel my xdp doesnt pay for our two and its tough.... but ill get there im the rock the dc can count on and they know it... even if i do have the odd moment here and there im human afterall :-)

makeminearose - i think we need wobbly moments to make us realize "actually im doing alright" i just cant understand how ex lives 10minutes away from us and walks past our house to go to his mates but not once has he knocked on and asked about ds but yet he has the cheek to tell everyone ive stopped him seeing our son.....ranting again x

My xdp is the same i dont understand it either.....

It will get easier. As to the question about why he wrecked everything you'll probably never know. I was married with 2 lovely boys and my now ex threw it all away for sex with other women. It hurt like hell to begin with but less and less as time goes on.

You're strong and you've got your lovely son. You're the one that sees your son all the time and has his love. All you ex has is just people to go out with and get drunk.

You'll care less about what he's doing as time goes on. I know it eats you up when you're upset and he's off out night after night.

Hope you feel better soon. I found red wine and chocolate very good in the early days!

Chocolate :-) rose wine doing me the power of good ....my hurt turns to sorrow but i just now feel for my 2 i feel like ive let them down in some way x time is a great healer though x

I really feel for you too MySon.
Pretty similar situation here too.
I really find it useful when people remind me to look after myself!
Yes he's an asshole and yes your family is broken. But you're better off without him and you need to focus on your new improved family of 2 :-)

I meant to say your OLD family unit is broken.

It's sad and there's no getting around that fact but you'll come out the other end really happy. I promise!