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Original poster

I've never asked for a hand holding thread before but 6mo first overnight with dad

15 replies

ballroomblitz · 25/03/2013 19:49

and I think I need a bit of hand holding.

Was a bit nervous and sick feeling about her going away as it's the first night away from me but her dad is a part of her life and I want them to have a good relationship so have to suck it up, and know I will eventually look forward to night.

Now he's just rang me and she's screaming down the other end of the phone. I feel so useless.

OP posts:
Original poster
ballroomblitz · 25/03/2013 19:50

those nights

OP posts:
NorthernLurker · 25/03/2013 19:54

Have a . Perfectly natural that you feel wobbly about this.

Was he coping do you think?

mcmooncup · 25/03/2013 19:55

What did he say when he called?
Was he coping?

Original poster
ballroomblitz · 25/03/2013 20:09

I think he's coping. He can be a bit scattered when she cries - second injections he worked himself into a right shaking state and was ready for going to hospital because she was crying - which is why now I feel a bit funny about it. I've just told him to ring me any time of night if he's not happy because as he's just said to me, it's all new to him.

OP posts:
Original poster
ballroomblitz · 25/03/2013 20:10

I've told him she might need a bit of ectra comforting as it's a new bed to sleep in but she knows him and will feel comforted by him being there stroking her and giving her a cuddle.

God this is so hard

OP posts:
sillymillyb · 25/03/2013 20:16

Oh bless you, this must be so hard - take comfort from the fact that she knows him, and will take comfort from him, and he is keeping you informed and you think he can cope.

You are doing this for all the right reasons, and your dd will be fine - honest - worse case scenario, he calls and you go to her. She won't remember this, and next time it will be easier.

((unmumsnetty hugs))

Fleecyslippers · 25/03/2013 20:18

Holds hands!

Fingers crossed she's settled and asleep soon - and get yourself a good nights sleep dreaming of the gummy smiles when she sees you tomorrow Smile

EeyoresGloomyPlace · 25/03/2013 20:22

Hand holding OP, it must be so hard but you are doing the right thing in allowing your baby and her father that time to learn and bond.

My dd2 is 6mo, I can imagine how difficult this is for you. Keep in contact with them and try if at all possible to allow yourself a bit of time to relax.

{{hugs}} and Wine

josiejay · 25/03/2013 20:28

Oh bless you it must be so hard. Big well done to you for being so unselfish and making sure your daughter maintains a relationship with her dad, even though being without her is causing you pain. It will get easier I'm sure but in the meantime try and do something nice for yourself, put a film on, or have a nice bath and look forward to those extra bug cuddles you'll be getting tomorrow.

Discogeek · 25/03/2013 20:39

Sending hugs Smile It is really hard but in the long run you'll come to enjoy those nights when she's with her dad.
My DS is 5 now & I promise it gets easier, I still miss him like crazy when he's gone but he has a great relationship with his dad which makes me happy too.
Keep in contact with him, text him if you need to and trust she'll be ok.

Original poster
ballroomblitz · 25/03/2013 20:40

I know I'm doing the right thing as in it's his child too and he's not a wanker like I've read some of the exs on here. He's really into her, adores her and I want to facilitate the relationship they can have.

Believe me I have had Wine He's now just rang me to say the monitor I leant him says it's 12 degrees in the bedroom and what should he do as she's in a 2.5 tog growbag so I've had to explain feet to foot over the phone and put a blanket over her until it hits about 16.

Sad if we were still together he would know all this.

Unfortunately I can't really do anything for myself. I have another lo, five year old from my ten yr relationship who is dying with a cold which has gone into his chest and I'm afraid his asthma may send him to hospital again, why I've now stopped the wine. I think that's why I appreciate dd's dad as he's great compared to ds's (and yes I know how that sounds)

OP posts:
Original poster
ballroomblitz · 25/03/2013 20:44

I know discogeek I will relish my times away from her in the future, it's just so hard the first couple of times. I didn't split with ds's dad until he was two so a baby being away is a new thing for me.

I know though, them having a good relationship with their dad is a priority to me too

OP posts:
Discogeek · 25/03/2013 20:44

This first time will be the worst, it'll get easier for you both as time goes on but keep doing what you're doing & know you're doing the best for all (that's a lot of 'doings'!!)

Rubbish about your DS too, hope he's feeling better soon.

Keep strong Smile

Original poster
ballroomblitz · 25/03/2013 21:38

Aww thanks. Apparently she is sound asleep now and can't wait for gummy smiles tomorrow morning. Funny how a bit of time away makes you appreciate them more

OP posts:
NorthernLurker · 25/03/2013 23:18

Glad to hear she's asleep. He sounds like a good dad and yes, this must be the best way for all of you and especially for the little one. Next time will be easier Smile

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