Bit petty..but can't believe ex forgot this!

[FourFish]

My eldest daughter started school on Tuesday - this is a big deal as it is the first time she has been away from family. Everyone else in the family has sent her little good luck cards, rang to ask her what its like (even tho at 3 her response is usally brief) and generally marked the occasion. Except her Dad who despite an email reminder has completly forgotton to the point that he has emailed me to ask to swop a Sat visit to Friday. I'm just :-( for DD and cannot believe that he hasn't taken in this huge milestone in her life.
I guess it wouldn't grate so much if he hadn't insited on sitting my boyfriend down to tell him that he is the 'real dad' and boyfriend will never take that place. Boyfriend doesn't want to! But surely a 'real' dad would remember his daughter starting school.
Like I said petty but need to ve.

You are right to vent. it is a shame that it didn't occur to him to mark the occasion. Our DD had been in day nursery since a baby, when she was 3 she went to nursery attached to school, it was more formal, wore unifrom etc. DH made a big thing of it even though we were moving house on same day. Every year on start of summer term DH txts me to see if she has settled in ok, (although she loves school). This is same man that plays golf on my birthday and goes out with mates on wedding anniversary. So school must be a big deal to him.

Some people don't see starting scholars as the massive event that needs all sorts of special markers for it that others do.
I personally think cards for a 3yo starting school is ridiculous, others won't.
I have no idea whether he is a good dad or not, and whether this is just one of many things or not.
But on its own I don't see it as anything to get upset about at all.

she is three. she will get over it.
she cant read the cards herself.
and "at 3 her response is usally brief"

hopefully when he sees her friday she can tell him all about it and he will be suitably emotional

I've never heard of cards being sent to a child when they start school, sounds odd to me, but then I'm not a big card sender. I don't think it makes me a bad parent.

Anyway, surely she can't be starting school if she's only 3?

Another one here who has nver heard of a child starting school being sent cards. Is this a new thing?

Its preschool - I guess nusery would probably be a better description and here it is a huge deal as she wouldn't settle at nusery a year ago. He was involved in her not settling at nusery because it caused huge distress that impacted on daily life for months. Even now she still talks about 'bad nusery' so everyone was trying delibrately to make a big thing of starting school to help her. It seems to have worked as she's settled well.
And our hand over point is a two hour journey! So when she's at school till 12 and he won't have her overnight until she sleeps through because it is apparantly too stressful to have a disturbed night it wouldn't be worth it. Thats more what grated tbh - i understand that someone people don't see the big deal or mark it - but the fact he clearly hasn't registered that she has started as meets can only happen on Sat/Sun now unless he decideds to have her overnight.
I just needed to vent before I replyed explaining why swoping to Friday wouldn't be possible as I want to keep things civil.