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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

So sick of struggling :(

5 replies

macdoodle · 10/07/2011 00:00

I have a good job with a decent income, but just cannot dig myself out of the hole XH left me in :( Am still in court wrangling over financial settlement, solicitors bills in excess of £10K.
Today my card got refused in tesco (again), and had to use my credit card (again). And its only the 9th, am busy paying off large debts left over from XH (and no he wont pay), so as money comes in, it goes straight back out.
Have more money coming in later this month, but it will just be eaten by my overdraft.
DD's want to go to a festival tomorrow, but I know there will be food stalls and little bits and bobs, I have a tenner in my purse in pound coins :(
CSA useless, he appeals and delays and lies, owes £1000's in arrears.
Am just so tired of it all being so hard :(

OP posts:
sincitylover · 10/07/2011 00:28

Hi MacD

My position is slightly different but I do know the feeling of having pounds in my purse shortly after payday -I also have a job with a reasonable income.

My life is totally limited by finances or lack of them. In my case exh did give me most of the equity and pays 20 per cent of his net income in maintenance but it isn't enough.

Meanwhile he met a rather rich woman and is living a luxury lifestyle whilst I am consistently short. Just posted on another thread that he has pissed off on holiday (owing me money) and is also moving to a 1.3 million house late summer.

he is currently pleading poverty.

Just wanted to sympathise though realise our circs are different.

sincitylover · 10/07/2011 00:29

The bottom line is that he prioritises his new family over his old one and I facilitate and subsidise his new life.

sincitylover · 10/07/2011 00:31

Might be worth approaching a debt charity so less of your income goes on paying debt and more on your own expenses.

You don't have to pay each creditor much more than a #1 per month if you can prove that your other expenses take up most of your salary.

macdoodle · 10/07/2011 00:37

Thanks sin
Problem being the HMRC is my main debtor (totally my debt by foolishly letting XH control and maipulate me into continuosuly bouying up his failing business, in joint names secured on my house so desperate to keep my house safe). have come to an agreement with them, but as my salary comes in, so out goes 80% to them. Spend the rest of the month doing extra work to actually pay for us to live :(
WHile XH takes them on days out that I just cannot afford :(
Final financial hearing next thur, with any luck a settlement will be ordered, with a touch more luck I will be able to then remortgage and get back on track.
All a bit of a house of cards at the moment.

OP posts:
macdoodle · 10/07/2011 00:39

Sorry in case that is confusing, I am essentially self employed, and got behind on tax payments because was desperately trying to keep it all going and "keep XH in the custom he expected". look back now and cannot believe how fucking stupid and controlled and terrified of him I was.

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