husband left yesterday - practically what do I need to do?

[MrsMiggins]

hi there
I just need some advice about money, house, access rights etc

I am planning on going to CAB tomorrow but just wondered what sort of things I need to discuss?

also is it possible to insist that access is restricted to children NOT staying away over night e.g DH could come & take them out both Sat & Sun but bring them home Sat night>

DD is only 17 mths and bery clingy to me

DH has never looked after them for longer than 5 hrs so just dont see how he would cope

my head is spinning and I just dont know what Im going to do about it all

Sit down and make a list.
Is he going to let you keep the house or will you need to sell?
You need to discus maintainence
You can set up whatever access you like. If you cant agree this can be settled in court.
Go to see a mediator (I think..mind blank) they willhelp you out with everything.

It would help any adviser if you could make a list of your outgoings and income and dh's income. Details of whether you own your house, its current value and size of the mortgage and how it is held, i.e. joint tenants or tenants in common.

You could changes the locks to prevent him from just deciding to return whether you like it or not. Technically you shouldn't do this as it is his home, he hasn't been violent towards you and (if you own the house jointly) he is entitled to live there. However, in practical terms, he would have to apply to the court to force you to give him a set of keys, and he is unlikely to do this.

You will need to think about finances in the short-term; will he continue to pay the bills, does your job bring in sufficient money for you to manage without maintenance from him or will you have to ensure that he contributes financially from the outset. You will also need to think about long-term financial arrangements; can you manage to stay in the house or must it be sold and a cheaper house purchased for you and the children or is rented accommodation more appropriate at that point.

With regard to contact, you are the primary carer and can say where and when he has contact. However if he were to take the children and not return them overnight, it would be difficult to do anything about it as he is their father, there is no specific order in place at present and they are not in any danger.

may be worth contactin tax creits people - your entitlement should go up as your circumstances have changed. Please try and keep it amicable with your partner, it will make things so much easier for both of you and the children. I know its not easy, especially at such an early stage, but from my own experience I find it a thousand times easier to cope with everything when we can at least be friendly to each other.

Mrs M. Sorry to hear this.

Have you been able to discuss access and maintenance with your H (can't really call him DH anymore!).

It is probably best to ring a solicitor for proper advice. Get hold of one who specialises in this type of law. Some offer a first appointment for free, so they can put you on the right track without cost to you.

Try and take care of yourself. Remember, you can't take care of your kids if you don't look after yourself.

hugs
xxx

btw - from your other threads, it sounds like you deserve better!!

Message withdrawn

good advice to see more than one lawyer. Try and find one who is competent at their job, and also concerned about you.

Money, housing and access are your priorities. The details can be sorted out later.

There is a parenting plan on line that is very helpful that may help you think about what you are h need to think about with regards to the children.

If there are any debts are they in joint names or his or yours?

Do you have an income?
If not contact the DWP firstthing Monday.

If your house is mortgaged you will need solicitors involvement if you are renting you will need to sort out housing benefit because even if you work you are likely to be entitled to some.

Contact IR re tax credits...

Can't think of anything else right now BUT will post link to parenting plan and come back if I do.

Best wishes

parenting plan

contact utilities etc if things are in his name and take readings as of the date he moved out

thanks
a lot to take in
will look later
too upset at moment

So sorry to hear this Mrs Miggins.

How are you Mrs M?