Dubai - don't really want to go?

[gremlindolphin]

Hi, this is my first post on Mumsnet!

DH has just been offered a fab 2 year promotion to Dubai, good money and package.

However, I love living in the UK! We moved to our ideal house last year, and have a great life, family and friends etc. I have two dd (4+7)at a lovely school, a dog I adore and an elderly Mum who would be devastated(I'm an only child and my Dad died 6 yrs ago).

How do you weigh up the opportunity with the downsides? My first reaction is that I don't want us to go (dh is undecided too and I want to be supportive to him) and then I know I can't be the only person who feels like this? How did you overcome your worries if you went? What is enough to make us stay?

I know its only two years but a lot can happen in two years in my experience.

Any thoughts appreciated as I feel like I'm losing the plot.

A good friend of mine is about to go to Dubai in the next few weeks so it will have at least one nice person there

However, that is really really really really hard for you. I probably couldn't do it with what you describe as being good here. Hope you can come to a decision you are happy with.

I have 2 friends in same sitation as you - great life here and the offer of Dubai came up.. they went, had a ball, made friends and money and a great life there and after 5 years came back.. all their old friends still around and they slotted back in like they had been away for a weekend.. kids had had a great outdoor life for 5 years but fitted right back in ...

I would go for it .. 2 years will pass and you have a lot to gain...

My sister lived in Dubai and she loved it. She was sad to come home.

We visited a lot too and were tempted by the lovely lifestyle although I have to say my reasons for not going would be the exactly the same as yours!

Your mum could visit (my mum did and she's 80) and you could take your dog under the pet passport scheme. Loads of ex pats have pets. I went to a pet show in Dubai this year and was surprised how important pets are out there.
And it's a good time to go as your children are still young.

Is there anything that could tempt you to go?
But on the other had if you are really happy here maybe it would be best to stay here.

sorry if I'm not much help. I'm probably just making it worse!

ok, here goes. i might come off as a little negative but thats because i'm an american living in london (which i'm just not coping with well, and i've been here for 2 years).

i dislike the idea of living in the middle east most of the time. but in our near future it's inevitable as is our eventual and permanent move to geneva after our stint in the uae.

the pros about living in the middle east revolve around the amounts of money you save while possibly living in the lap of luxury...a maid, cook, nanny and driver at about £300.00 or less a month. (according to my husbands boss/workmates who are trying to get him to move out there). don't forget the schooling. since there are soo many expats and the economy is booming the most prestigious childrens schools are opening up with staff that are stellar. the prices are also incredibly affordable.

they do have a wide variety of expats out there, but in my experience (we spend 3-4 months in dubai and abu dhabi a year). whenever i'm there we only hang out with my husbands workmates who seem really eager to get us to move but i think it's because they might be lonely. so i get the feeling it might be clique-y.

it's hot, the fashion is two seasons behind (if you care about that kinda thing). and the cultural differences are astounding. for example, when i'm at any store with my husband and i hand the cashier something, the cashier will ask my husband (not me) if it's ok to ring up the item.

sometimes at restaurants the waiters will address the women after all the men. (not common at all, but happens from time to time if your in certain company).

but in general it's pretty relaxed. you can't smoke pot but then if you have kids, i'm sure it's not a habit you sport anyway. they do have amazing clubs and with the low cost of childcare the ability to have private time and a nightlife with your husband is very possible.

Thanks for your thoughts, they do all help!

Getting places at schools seems to be an issue from looking on other sites.

I know friends etc would still be the same after two years and so I suppose my own personal stumbling block is my Mum.

I don't think she'd be able to come out as her health isn't fantastic and she's a bit of a technophobe so it could be quite hard getting video links and skype going.

I can't begin to think about telling her that we are even considering a move.

I live in Dubai.
Things are a bit crazy here at the moment with school places and the cost of housing.
I'd be delighted to help you with your decision if you can give me more specifics on the 'package' being offered - it might not be the financila reward you are looking for.
Really happy to help
good luck

Ditto escape, happy to help.

Whilst we do have a diffent lifestyle to back in the UK, please be assured not everyone if fortunate or unfortunate to live the type of life written about by eandz. I dont know anybody who has a cook, most people drive themselves (and that is a thread by itself according to some people).

the only time I have had the experience enad z writes about with the bank manager talking to my husband not me about my account, I just asked my husband to leave. That solved that problem. It is what you make it and it is a hard choice.

Re: skype, it is illegal here, everyone uses it though. And dont worry about your mum. Neither of DS grandparents have a mobile or a computer but we use skype to call them on their landline, still loads cheaper. Photos and videos, we send back every few months on dvd's which they watch on the dvd player we bought for them before we left (see, real technophobes).

My mum has visted but not DH parents, they ahvent flown since they went to Jersy on their honeymoon 53 years ago, sigh.

Biggest issues apart from your personal decisions are places at schools and the cost of housing. Ddo your sums very carefully.

Good luck, if you need help please ask.