Help! High School Homecoming in the USA

[chocchipcookie]

I have been in the US four years with my DS who is 16. Next week is Homecoming, he is a junior. He hasn't even mentioned it, obviously he doesn't want to go or invite a girl (he has no interest or so it seems, prefers sport!) I think he is shy around girls even though he has lots of friends at school and plays two sports so he knows plenty of people.

Also he goes to parties but will never have one at home, I have suggested it so many times but he won't. By the way we don't have two heads or creepy house (I think).

So, how big a deal is this? I don't see much point in pushing him but I don't want him to regret it in later years.

In my school Homecoming was a BIG DEAL. I only went my junior and senior years. The first time it was just with a male friend rather than boyfriend. Once I went with more of a group (about 6 of us, equal boys & girls). Maybe he could do something like that?

Can't really help but what is homecoming exactly? What is this Homecoming King and Queen lark?

Homecoming is a big fall ritual revolving around American Football (at our school anyway). We had the football game on the Friday night, the Homecoming King and Queen were elected from the senior class (along with a "court"). They led a procession / parade as part of the half time. the Dance was on the Saturday night. Formal gowns for the girls, tuxs for the boys.

Not a big deal at all.

I skipped all mine. I only went to prom because my best friend was going with her brother's roommate from university and she wanted me to go with her brother - who I knew always had good pot and access to alcohol.

I thought they were twee and goofy and I'd rather spend my time doing something else - like watching paint dry.

It was a big deal to some at our school, but to others not. I grew up in a very big city, however.

I wouldn't push him, FWIW.

I'd have been furious if my folks had pushed me. I was happy with who I was, it's just that who I was didn't find anything interesting about homecoming, football or the like.

I think it's really only a big deal if you are into football. It also depends on the group of kids that you are in. If he isn't interested, it certainly won't matter if he doesn't go and even if he did go he wouldn't even remember it by the time he started college. I would be more concerned about the parties he goes to and how much alcohol and drugs are at the parties and who is driving and are the parents around when the parties are being held.

The parties seem pretty tame, there are always parents there. We live in a small town.

I just worry about him not 'joining in' but I don't think there's much I can do...

It depends completely on the kid, for some teens these homecoming things are extremely uncool to attend, the thinking goes that only shallow twats who care about their image to exclusion of anything else would bother to attend, so anybody with taste or character wouldn't be caught dead there...

Think of Clare getting voted homecoming Queen by all the "School Freaks" in recent episode of Heroes. There are many more "Freaks" than people who care much about school proms, etc.

sorry to hijack but I've always wanted to understand the junior/sophomore thing.

Could someone explain it to me please?

OK there are four years in High School:

year 1 - freshman
year 2 - sophomore
year 3 - junior
year 4 - senior

You are all making me feel much better. I thought the prom was the be all and end all of your school career and those who do not attend spend the rest of their unhappy lives regretting it. So that's not true?

WHO ARE THE 'FREAKS'? OMG I don't even know what that means!

freshman=yr 9
sophmore=yr10
junior=yr11 aged 16
senior=yr12

so they leave school at 17 yrs ,is that right?

Freaks is just the term they used on Heroes, probably different labels used at diff schools. Anyone who knows they're nowhere near the top of the social pile and don't have a chance of being there, either (but some don't want to try be there, in any case). So they feel at least a bit like social outcasts.

You're at top of social pile typically if you're glam in the right way (esp. for girls) or excel at something competitive (like sport) on behalf of the school. Something like homecoming matters more in some places than other (matters hugely in Texas, for instance, where American Football is like religion).

But some teens outright angrily reject all those trappings of social competition, or simply can't be bothered.

Americans make WAY too much a big deal about High School memories/affect on total life, anyway, imho...

They usually leave at age 17+7 months old, on average, but age when they start varies by school district, and also not unusual for people to repeat one of the early years or (nowadays) parents to delay entry to kindergarten by 1 yr.

It does depend completely on the school, I was from small town OH and the only other option was cow tipping (no really) so about 70% of people ended up going. Of course this was way to long ago to even contemplate. (faints with horror as the realisation of it being 22 yrs ago ! )

Now that I think about it, I remember fondly that the Homecoming Queen my senior year ended up dropping out of college and moving back home as she couldn't get used to the fact that at University no one knew who she was. No really, and she's still there, working at Walmart I believe.

So now I think about it, obviously don't encourage it -- he'll go much farther in life

They have cow-tipping here! But the big excitement is that the corn maze has just opened.

And it's true that half the football team end up mowing lawns.

Where in Ohio, USAUKMum (Mom?)

Mt Vernon, Knox County, OH (biggest town in the county, I add!)

Where are you chocchipcookie??

They didn't have corn mazes when I was growing up but was there this summer and see that now they have one.

Clark County, about ten minutes from Springfield/Dullsville.

My sister works in London, OH. So have you been to Kings Island yet? My DC loved it this summer, and we stayed in the Great Wolf Lodge which they adored !

Yep - I hated the queues, we went last summer. Also to that water park opposite. Do you miss Ohio???

We went Aug 22, there were no queues to speak of -- everyone was back in school.

I don't miss Ohio per se. I live in a market town, between Cambridge & London and the area around here is remarkably like where I grew up. My DH finds the US too intense in doses longer than 3 wks (we lived there 4 yrs beginning of our marriage). Plus you don't have to drive as far to get places

How did you end up in Ohio? Military?

Love! DH is from Ohio, not military now. I'm just about to come back to the UK for a visit. Funny, my DH finds the UK tough after a week or so, just as I'm settled back in. I plan to come for a month next year. Yes, the driving is too much but at least there's no traffic jams!

Yes same amount of traffic, spread over a greater distance. Driving here is like driving in a major city over in the US. But DD got to asking, "how long is this drive going to be".

Do you like Ohio?

We usually go over there for 3 wks (thank goodness for UK holiday allowances !) My brother is just moving now from Boston to Minn. so we'll see if next trip is to there or OH again. Though I must say we didn't do half the things we planned to do with the children. And thankfully they didn't feel the heat.

In the city we lived in, Homecoming was something that was for the Seniors and anyone on the Football team. If he's neither, then there won't be any parties.

I used to take my kids to the Homecoming parade, which meant that there were a few floats, plus a couple of fire engines etc., with kids throwing Tootsie Rolls.

Former Ohio resident here. Hamilton County