Moving back to the UK without my partner?

[natty8839]

Hi everyone,

I'm in a crisis so doing the obvious thing and turning to the internet for advice ;)

I met my partner over here in Australia. He is Australian and I am British and we live in Melbourne. I miss home terribly and am devastated about the possibility of a future without my family around us. This has only really hit me recently as we've been talking about having kids.

He will not come back to the UK with me. I won't go into the reasons but he's set on staying here so if I go, I go alone. I'm devastated and can't decide what to do. I love him enormously but am not sure if I can be happy here and feel nervous about a relationship where he won't compromise for me.

Am I crazy to give up a good relationship to be near my family and go back home? I'm very close with my brother and mum and finances mean that I could only see them once per year which doesn't feel like enough. I'm torn between starting my life all over again in the UK or staying here with a man that I do love and forever missing 'home'.

It sounds like, to be honest, for whatever reason you have never viewed it as a permanent move. Trips to the UK every year immediately shouts out that you never planned on settling. Certainly in 8 years I have had plenty of days missing my friends and family in UK, but we made this move forever. To give the kids a better life. My mum comes out to visit and we are just processing her and her husbands parental visas
I have had 3 dc since moving here and I can safely say it's been great! My mum visits for a few months and relief all round when she heads back to her own life again.
So going on what you say.. I'd just head back to the UK alone. As above. You knew dp lived here. Has a life house etc. I'd say you choose early on to not settle here or you would have dug your heels into making a life, feeling happy here, not longing for a life you think is better elsewhere.
Best not to bring kids into the picture at a time when your already planning how to leave.

Hi @natty8839,

I just came across this thread, I know it's from a few years ago but I am currently having big doubts about whether to stay in France with my French partner or whether to move back to the UK. I guess we are a similar age, as I'm now 31. I have many of the same feelings as you describe in this thread.

I'm just wondering what you decided to do in the end? And whether you are happy with your decision?

I echo @Helen8985
I'm in a similar situation, except I'm the boyfriend and trying to figure out if I should move

@Helen8955 and @Rewis

Oh my god... I am in the same situation, same ageish, same country! Going to PM you both now.