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Living overseas

Whether you're considering emigrating or an expat abroad, you'll find likeminds on this forum.

Original poster

Any Aussies moved home and regretted it?

27 replies

WhataSook · 13/04/2013 07:06

We are planning to move to Australia next May, and although I really am desperate to get home, just the tiniest bit of me wonders if I would regret leaving London.

Just curious if anyone has gone home and wished they hadnt?

OP posts:
SavoyCabbage · 13/04/2013 07:41

I think once you emigrate, you are in that dilemma forever. You are always going to be wondering of you made the right choice as you are comparing apples and oranges.

I've been in Australia for over four years and I know I don't want to be here and even I'm questioning whether going home is the right thing to do, even though I'm ridiculously unhappy here. So I think doubts are normal.

Original poster
WhataSook · 13/04/2013 08:12

Thanks Savoy, I'm sorry to hear you are unhappy. Its hard to know what is the right thing to do for the family...we are settled here and have a nice life, but no family (DH is Irish) so no one to share with ifykwim?

Going home and having to start all over again is scary though!

Do you have a plan of when you will leave?

OP posts:
SavoyCabbage · 13/04/2013 08:38

That's exactly it. The starting all over. We have nobody here either and it's just not nice to have nobody at all. We are making a plan at the moment but it's easier said than done.

We almost know that when we do our lives will be more difficult. Nowhere to live, no jobs, no car, no school, furniture on a boat for months.

I was at a lovely farmers market on Easter Sunday with my friends in the beautiful sun. We were on holiday at the beach. The dc were going swimming at all hours of the day and having a great time. Then I heard a woman saying to her friend that she was going over to her Mums for lunch and the other one said she was going to her sister's and I thought I would much rather be doing that.

chloeb2002 · 13/04/2013 22:54

I moved back to the uk from Aus. Other than meeting dh.. I regretted every day of moving back. Obvious rubbish weather... Although food may be cheaper I found fuel, days out, services except Internet .. Far more expensive. Dd may have had grandma but often she had her own plans and life too! My brother lived the other end if the country. Back in Aus with dh and three more kids! Love it. Yes groceries horrify me at times but I get good quality meat at butcher fresh local produce at fruit barn. I enjoy my job. Kids in a lovely all be it godly private school. Dh happy. Great house near enough to Cbd to have city days out yet ponies in the back paddock and a huge pool. Sports on tap ... And we'll priced. Dd swims up to 6 times a week for $27 a week. Triathlon training $5 a session. Has tried tennis, trampoline for similar money. Local council organises free family activities and days. So for us much better here. Awaiting my mother starting to come for 5 months of the year. That will be great! Oh and purchasing a camping trailer to go glamping. I may not have extended family here... But I have great friends now and my close family are happy here too!

wundawoman · 13/04/2013 23:04

I'm from Aus and have been in UK for 3 years now. I'm still homesick after 3 years away and can't wait to return home. I miss the weather (of course), lifestyle, food, landscape, beach and most importantly, friends and family. Hmm

echt · 14/04/2013 07:58

I've sometimes wondered what it might be like to be back in the UK, but the life we had there could not be re-created, we couldn't buy a house in London and are unemployable due to age: we're here in Oz for keeps, and knew this in our bones when we were coming here.

I'm sure this colours our perceptions of Australia to some extent, but can't define it it. This is where we live and so we don't repine because there's absolutely no point. I miss family, but you know what, it was always me who phoned, sent cards, made the effort, and it still is.

I wonder if the fact that we didn't dislike the UK in the slightest helped; we loved it, and loved our life there, so the opportunity to live in Australia was something to take with both hands.

Longdistance · 14/04/2013 08:24

We're in Oz. Although my dh loves it, I don't.
We don't have the same support network as we had back home.
I broke my leg the other day, and am awaiting surgery whilst in hospital. My dhhas to have our dd's as we don't have a support network here. My sil helps out at the weekend. Fil is here til Friday from theuk, and after that, who knows what'll hsppen.
I speak to my mum and dad, and they're very sad that they can't help out, as they cannot travel due to ill health.
I'm hoping my dh has a hard time, so he can see how ridiculous his idea was in the first place.
There was nothing wrong with our lives in the Uk, we were doing really well. Since we've moved here we're always short of money, and have had to compromise on lots of things.
What makes me laugh us, he still works for the same company that he moaned about not getting a pay rise, and he still hasn't got one here Confused

Original poster
WhataSook · 14/04/2013 14:21

Thanks everyone, it's interesting to hear different sides.

Savoy you have helped me to decide it is the right thing, I can have the sunshine and my mum and sister close by. I know now I will miss London, but not as much as I am missing this.

Wundawoman do you have plans to go home soon?

Longdistance is your DH an Aussie, if you are so unhappy will you be abke to move back to the UK?

echt I like your attitude!

OP posts:
Longdistance · 14/04/2013 14:27

No, dh is a pom like me. We're only on business visa's, but he wants perm residency. I tell him I'm not happy, but he just refuses to listen....sigh!

Longdistance · 14/04/2013 14:28

Oh, and we've rented out our house in the Uk, so have a home there I'm refusing to sell it

ben5 · 14/04/2013 14:28

love it here. but then everyone knows thatGrin

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 14/04/2013 14:35

I've lived there...hated it and came home and now I'm considering going back! Oz offers some things the Uk doesn't have....but some things in the Uk are irreplacable.

My Mum and sisters...damp country lanes...good telly....culture....rooftops and chimneystacks in the distance when I walk to the shops...

in oz it's clean..almost uncomfortably so, the suburbs are for me terrible. Miles of ugly houses.

I can only live in Oz this time round if I'm RIGHT in the city.

SanityClause · 14/04/2013 14:40

I am the only one of my family to have moved from Australia to the Uk.

The first time I went back, it was before I had met DH, and I didn't have DC. I felt really trapped, and couldn't wait to leave again.

Now, though, I think my DC may well benefit from the connection. They may be able to go to university more cheaply there, or just travel, knowing they can stay with my brother and sisters from time to time.

Maybe they'll love it and stay there. That would be poetic justice for me!

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 14/04/2013 14:45

It's the uni thing that makes me wonder Sanity...is it going to be a lot cheaper for my DC in 10 years time?

I worry about the industry going to the shits in Oz...it's so reliant on China.

What if they have a big economic crash just as Europe gets on it's feet? Also...is the education there as respected as it in the UK? I mean the Uni education.

SanityClause · 14/04/2013 22:53

The university education in Australia is equivalent to the UK. Obviously, with something like Law, you may not be able to practise in the UK, and I'm sure there are conversions for medicine, nursing etc. but that would apply to any European country, as well. Whether an Australian degree in say, Economics or English Literature would be as highly regarded, I don't really know, though.

I know that Australia's current boom is completely reliant on supplying materials to China (minerals, fuel, etc). But to us, it's a possible string to the DC's bows, so if it all bottoms out, hopefully they have other options in Europe, as well.

Youbewdy · 14/04/2013 23:49

I've just moved back to Aus having lived in London for 15 years. I regret not making more of time in the UK, I had a tendency to put things in the too hard basket once my daughters came along. I loved living in London and think the UK is a fantastic place to live. Even on the plane over I was Panicking that we'd made a huge mistake all of my doing. But... I am loving being back in Australia. we've moved to a State where we knew no one aside from my parents so we are almost starting from scratch. We are making great friends and feel that life is very easy here. If I'm honest I've always had a bit of cultural snobbery and loved the idea of living in London and not the backend of the burbs like where I grew up. We're not the outdoorsy Home and Away stereotype family and I was nervous that we would flounder in Aus. We seem to fit in though, a happy little half british-Aussie family!

Original poster
WhataSook · 16/04/2013 08:03

thanks everyone for your replies. I have also been looking at the other thread on how expensive is it to live in Aus. I am so torn! My heart says go home and be with my family - but my head says stay...

Youbewdy that is sort of how I feel - London has so much going on all the time and you are right in the middle of everything, that I worry we will be bored in Australia. I'm glad to hear it's worked out well for you Smile

OP posts:
echt · 16/04/2013 12:27

I lived in London for 25+ years before coming to Melbourne. It is not in the least bit boring. I suppose so much would depend on what city you're in/near. I'm happy because I'm close enough to city with life and verve.

It's fairly pointless comparing Oz with UK on the old buildings angle, just as I roll my eyeballs when I hear Aussies moan about the crowds in London. Don't make pointless comparisons; it's life-sapping.

chloeb2002 · 17/04/2013 04:11

echt.. I need a facebook style ##like## button

chloeb2002 · 17/04/2013 04:13

sanity clause. defiantly no conversions needed for nursing or medicine, that's why both countries hospitals are full of brits/ aussies!

Notafoodbabyanymore · 17/04/2013 04:27

Echt - love your attitude and I completely agree! I lived in the UK for nearly 7 years (DH is English) and moved back to Perth about a year and a half ago. I can honestly say that we don't regret it at all. But that doesn't mean that we don't miss a lot of people and a lot of general lifestyle stuff from the UK either.

One country is not better or worse than the other, each has wonderful things to offer, you just need to decide what's most important to you.

Good luck.

sleepywombat · 17/04/2013 05:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
WhataSook · 17/04/2013 08:38

Sorry echt ? but I disagree. It?s not life sapping making pointless comparisons, as I don?t think they are pointless. I grew up in Melbourne so know the city well and have spent some time in London ? my concern is more for my husband and I will tell you what would be life sapping ? is having to hear DH moan about the move for the rest of my life! Grin

So thanks to everyone who replied, I appreciate it and I?m working on ways to make sure that DH embraces the differences or is at least aware of them so it?s no great shock to him. I don?t mind the urban sprawl as it?s what I?m used to ? he on the other hand will be mortified if there?s not a local for him within walking distance. Setting his expectations!

OP posts:
echt · 17/04/2013 09:29

I take your point WhataSook Hmmm. He's going to have pub shock. I'm not a pub goer, but even I miss them here.

sleepywombat, I have to run my fingers under the hot taps to warm up to teach in Melbourne during the winter. Hat, scarf and gloves in the classroom. Never had to do that in the UK.

idlevice · 17/04/2013 11:36

Sleepywombat, we moved back to the UK last year after 5years down under & many of the things you mention in your post were similar to my reasons for wanting to move back.

Needing more clothes is a pain, esp with kids, but they do look so cute all bundled up & I find the variety in weather better. Just recently in the Easter hols was the first time in almost a year I felt annoyed with the weather - expected it to be a bit brighter & milder for Easter so we could get out more. But it was good to have an Easter in the Spring again. i was worried about the cold & just thought to myself I'll have to invest in decent coat etc but didn't need to for the winter just gone.

DS1 is a sensitive type & getting on fine at a village-y type school. They play outside two or three times a day. We can also walk & cycle here properly which I missed in Australia - there are footpaths, fields, woodland cyclepaths, canalside ones, sculpture trails & even near us the Gruffalo trail! I find there is more outside variety easily accessible to us than just park/beach/bush/streets where we were in Australia.