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LGBT children

This board is primarily for parents of LGBTQ+ children to share personal experiences and advice. Others are welcome to post but please be respectful that this is a supportive space.

Am I being unreasonable?

5 replies

Hayley2407 · 23/10/2019 15:18

So my mum and her husband smoke and drink heavily, I would definitely call them functioning alcoholics!
My mum has had a massive go at me because she thinks I'm pushing her out of my 10 week old babies life as I won't take him to her house and I won't let her look after him because of the smoking and drinking. They smoke all around the house and drink literally all the time!
I haven't said that she can't be a part of his life I've said we can go out weekly so she can spend time with him or she could come round to mine ect.
She's now making it a competition between her and my dad and his partner because I allow them to baby sit my son, but they respect my wishes and wouldn't ever drink while they have him and they don't smoke anyway.
I told her while I was pregnant that this would be the case and my mum and her husband just laughed at me as if to say "yeah we'll see". But now it's actually come to it she's gone mad.
She's told me that she won't be giving up smoking or drinking as she said "that's me".
I'm not asking her to give up smoking and drinking just if she wants to have my son they need to not smoke in the house and not drinking while she's taking care of him
Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
happygoluckyhippo · 23/10/2019 15:40

Definitely not being unreasonable and I think you just need to explain again what the issue is. Sitting here holding my also 10 weeks old son and no way would he be left with somebody who would be liable to drinking while watching him! Smoking - also not ideal and wouldn't be happy for baby to be exposed to this regularly.

(Incidentally, not sure if you meant for this to be in the LGBT section (popped up on my "active" list))

cherryblossomgin · 23/10/2019 15:46

Sounds like you are being completely reasonable. Just stick to your guns, when I have kids I wouldn't be sending them into smoky home. I grew up around smokers and I had glue ear, which is sometimes caused by passive smoking. If she was that bothered she would smoke outside.

willloman · 23/10/2019 15:48

Stick to your guns. Get her all the pamphlets on dangers of secondary smoking etc. And alcohol and babysitting is a no brainer...Good on you!

Hayley2407 · 23/10/2019 15:53

Thank you all for replying!
I knew I was right she's just making me feel like a bad person for doing what's best for my baby boy!

OP posts:
EL8888 · 23/10/2019 16:00

You are being totally reasonable. She isn’t. I wouldn’t let someone smoke in front of my child or drink alcohol while in sole charge of them

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