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LGBT children

This board is primarily for parents of LGBTQ+ children to share personal experiences and advice. Others are welcome to post but please be respectful that this is a supportive space.

Original poster

6 year old daughter searching for 'ladys having sex with ladys no boys'

45 replies

suzydelarosa · 19/10/2012 13:18

My six year old daughter was using my computer this morning and I took it over to discover google searches for 'ladys having sex' 'ladys sex ladys' and 'ladys sex no boys'. Spelling mistakes hers!

Looks like she'd been looking at quite a bit of nudity and some porn. the fact that she's just turned 6 is of course worrying. And the fact that we have no security on our computer is, of course, a wake up call.

I have tried not to yell at her because I don't want to punish her for being curious about sexuality. I just wondered if I should take this as a sign that she may be thinking about girls rather than boys. Is she too young to be having these thoughts. Would welcome any feedback.

OP posts:
Sastra · 19/10/2012 13:25

Have you asked her (in an age appropriate way) about it?

Llareggub · 19/10/2012 13:30

I have a son the same age. He would have no idea at all that this might be something that he could search for on the Internet, not does he know that sex exists outside some very basic conversations about how babies are made.

I am surprised that your DD does. How might she know to search for this on the Internet?

windsurf74 · 19/10/2012 13:31

Is this a genuine post?
Shock
What the hell was a 6 yr old doing on your computer unattended in the first place? How would she even know to search for sex?! Confused This would ring huge alarm bells for me personally....

maybenow · 19/10/2012 13:34

What's her understanding of sex in general?

When I was six i knew what sex was in a basic way and you do it to make a baby - so when i heard of people having same-sex relationships i didn't understand at all (nobody told me that sex had anything to do with feeling nice or showing love - just making babies, i think i thought of it like something you just had to do like having a bath or doing the dishes Smile).

Convert · 19/10/2012 13:34

I don't think my son (6 in jan) knows what sex is. I dont think this is a lesbian issue. Why does she have any idea about any of this or being able to search for it on the Internet?!

Bongaloo · 19/10/2012 13:34

"I just wondered if I should take this as a sign that she may be thinking about girls rather than boys"
This isn't your problem.

TantrumsAndBalloons · 19/10/2012 13:38

You cannot really want us to believe this?

Sastra · 19/10/2012 13:40

OP there's nothing to yell about here - she's done nothing wrong at all.

You need to get to the bottom of where this has come from. A just-turned-six year old being exposed to sexual activity is a child protection issue.

Fairylea · 19/10/2012 13:41

I don't think it's as unusual as people like to think it is for 6 year olds to know a lot about sex including gay relationships. My9 year old asked me some rather graphic questions based on what she had heard from other children at school !! I took the view from then on that I'd tell her everything rather than her only half understand it.

It's also easy for a child to search the internet while a parent pops out of the room for two mins to do something or even use the toilet. I came back once to find dd searching for "sex" on you tube... !!!

I have installed proper parental controls now and I don't let her on it unless I am right there. Our pc is in the main living room so everyone can see it.

Original poster
suzydelarosa · 19/10/2012 13:52

Hi - this is a real post. I let her borrow my computer to watch Scooby Doo as she was in bed feeling poorly. She only recently learned about Google and I usually am always by the computer to assist but I had no reason to think she would want to look at this.

She has watched some adult sitcoms with me where the term 'sex' is mentioned and she generally knows about how babies have made as I had a few pregnancies and miscarriages and had to explain to her about it in an appropriate manner for a 6 year old.

I guess I was also surprised that she was looking for 'ladies having sex with ladies' as I've only ever said that 'girls can marry girls or boys' and that's about the extent of it.

Anyway it's all a bit strange but I just wondered if anyone else had had similar experiences. I will have a chat with her about it when things simmer down.

OP posts:
EmpressOfTheSevenScreams · 19/10/2012 13:55

I don't think I'd put it down to any sexual preferences at this age. I do think you need decent parental controls on your computer, fast.

Iggly · 19/10/2012 13:56

How do you know it was her?

Original poster
suzydelarosa · 19/10/2012 14:00

hi - it was just me and her in the house. Unless it was a ghost!

OP posts:
ohnowwhat · 19/10/2012 14:00

I wonder if she has overheard some other children talking about this at school?
I would casually bring it up/ask her if anyone has been talking about things like that and then tell casually that some ladies do fall in love with other ladies and sometimes men fall in love with other men. Then I would tell her that some pictures on the computer arn't very nice for children to see because they can make something nice look horrible.
(I had my dd ask why there were lots of pictures of ladies with big boobies on the front of the 'comics' in asda. I told her that some ladies like to be a show off and show off their bodies and that some men think it is rudey dudey and can't help looking! )
I think depending on your child and the environment they are in depends on the type of answers you can give.
I wouldn't tell her off but I would put parental controls on and maybe do as Fairy does 'only let her on when you are near/there'

ohnowwhat · 19/10/2012 14:01

I think you must have posted while I was writing sorry! Mine seems a bit redundant/ useless now!Grin

BumgrapesofWrath · 19/10/2012 14:04

The first thing that came to my mind (but don't want to alarm you) is I wondered if anything inappropriate could have happened with her...

windsurf74 · 19/10/2012 22:41

Agree with Sastra sorry. I'd be very concerned this was a child protection issue...certainly if a 6 yr old at school told me this it would raise huge red flags. Why is your 6yr old daughter even watching adult sitcoms? She's SIX.

defineme · 19/10/2012 22:52

I would just wonder where the interest came from?
My twins knew about sex at 6, but not internet searches!

I have been the same as you in presenting gay/straight in the same way-then school mates questioned that and so my 2 asked me about it-maybe friends are talking? I did say to them not to discuss it with friends unless friends bring it up because parents choose to tell kids at different ages.

I would set controls on computer and ask a few searching questions just to make sure no one had been had been inappropriate with them.

VladIIIDracula · 19/10/2012 23:04

Agree this seems very erm... precocious for a just turned 6 year old.

Mine doesn't know much about sex at all about from the baby making mechanics bit of it, and quiet frankly looked horrified when I told her Grin

I can't imagine she'd want to look at it online, even if it occurred to her it was possible Hmm

My friend found out her 8 year old had googled "willys that men have" though Shock Luckily her google settings were set to filter out inappropriate stuff so she didn't see owt dodgy.

But I agree the issue isn't your daughters sexuality....

chipmonkey · 19/10/2012 23:24

Ds3 is seven and I honestly don't think it would occur to him to look up anything sex related! I would be bothered if he did but not bothered about the genders of the people concerned, just concerned that he knew what to look for!

I do remember discussing same-sex relationships with my friend when we were preteens but in a curious way more than anything else and we both married men in the end. But I agree with others that her sexual orientation is the least of your worries here.

tigerdriverII · 19/10/2012 23:34

I don't want to worry you but you really do need to think about where this could have come from. Is it really from the adult sitcoms you let her watch with you (which really aren't appropriate for her anyway but that's another issue). If not, then someone is at best talking to her about things they really shouldn't talk to her about, and that is the best spin there might be. I would be thinking about everyone who has significant time with her, and after I'd discounted all of them, I'd go through the list again. Sorry to be so pessimistic but this would be a real concern to me with a 6 yo.

perceptionreality · 19/10/2012 23:49

It's most likely that she has heard something at school or on tv that has made her curious.

I have just put a porn block on my laptop because I have an 8 year old who is now googling everything under the sun!

You may want to make sure there is nothing sinister behind it but I do think it's very normal for children to be curious about sex, especially when they only hear half a story.

usualsuspect3 · 19/10/2012 23:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HappyHalloweenMotherFucker · 19/10/2012 23:53

if this post were real, and this were my daughter I would be having the serious collywobbles about how she connected lesbian sex and internet searching at 6yo

or is it a stealth boast about how "bright" she is ? Hmm

usualsuspect3 · 19/10/2012 23:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.