Hi everyone, I’m looking for some advice from anyone who has been in a similar situation or has legal knowledge.
I still legally own the family home, where my ex lives with our two children. I’ve asked him at least twice if he could stay elsewhere on Monday and Tuesday so I can have the children with me in a proper home environment, where I can feed them, look after them and meet their needs. Unfortunately, he has ignored my requests.
I’m currently living in a rented room where I can’t properly accommodate the children. I moved out months ago due to his abuse and kept going to the house to be with the kids every other day until June, when he reported me to social services to stop me from coming to the house. I was looking for a property to rent, but found somewhere to buy and started the process in April.
Now, the transfer of the family home deeds to his name and the equity payment I’m supposed to receive are being delayed as he has failed to disclose that he hasn’t instructed another (previous one pulled out) solicitor to complete and that may take months if started over.
And as I’m in the process of buying a flat, and without this money, I’m at risk of losing it and remaining in a rented room without being able to house my two boys and it breaks my heart how I’m losing the time with them due to his control and manipulation. I was their primary giver for 7 and 5 years and he is trying to erase me like I do not have significance in their life. While I see my boys 3 times a week, it’s often 2 hours at the time in a public place and no more than 20 hours a week. I was supposed to be in my own home by now.
Legal aid hasn’t been able to help me with this situation, and I’m struggling to understand what options I have left.
I’m also worried that my ex may be deliberately delaying the house transfer because he knows that, without suitable accommodation, it’s harder for me to have the children staying with me. I’m concerned that this could put him in a stronger position when it comes to child arrangements and how much time the children spend with each of us.
I don’t want to take the children away from their dad. I just want to have some normality and not feel like a homeless person with my children.
I have a non molestation order against the abidet and him being a primary resident of the house makes it harder for me to walk in.
Occupation order (court in september) was not granted as I was close to move into my shared ownership flat in September, but now I realise that he had lied about the money to be transferred immediately (money sum was document in TR1) and the fact that he has no solicitor acting for him any longer.
I need a home as soon as possible and I cannot live like this, I need my boys with me, like I used to.
How a man like him can walk and pretend like nothing happened?
He is a sick . abusive . Evil. manipulative creature.
And yet….if you’d meet him - he would come across as the most charming, successful and kind men you have ever met.
• I did not want a house sale in order to minimise the level of uprooting for the children and buying out was perfect at the time
• I left with a plan to rent immediately, but many places declined due to income
• In April I started a buying proccess of Shared Ownership flat and still could access to the house to be with my children and the exchange date was planned for July / August
• In June he made malicious reports to social services leading to supervised visits and more lies and forced me out of family home and have been displaced when I see my kids ever since, barely any over nights with them. The SS cleared it, but it has traumatised me.
• I cannot just turn up at family home due to NMO as I will willingly compromise him. Only if he was not there. And he is a primary resident despite the fact that was my home for 7 years up until February.
• Due to NMO he harrased me with filming me and telling court how I am on the same street when my friend was picking up the kids for me. NMO is against him, not me and I was not doing anything wrong.
• He has called me unfit mother and made hundreds of horrible accusations of me as a mother.
• Parental alienation - Leading questions to my boys to make them kids think that I am a bad mother
• Emotionally Abusive for years and assaulted me in 2025 - no charges due to fear of financial repercussions
• Making me guilty about going out and doing things without kids when we were together and barely helped with school runs due to invalid excuses. Suddenly he is a dad of the year and can do it all - just to hurt me which is a control Through my children.
• He used to call me retard, “ your brain is too small” “do not care what you say” “are you fucking stupid” “unfit mother”
•He broke my furniture, cut a freezer cord as it was not what he wanted, pierced my bike tyres, spat in my face, threw my bedsheets out of the window, undermined me in the front of the kids.
My questions are:
- Can I legally ask him to leave the family home temporarily on the days I have the children, given that I still own it?
- Is there anything I can do to force the house transfer and payment to move forward if he is delaying the process?
- Could his delays affect child arrangements or put him in a stronger position in court?
- Are there any other organisations or legal options I could try when legal aid isn’t available?
I would really appreciate any advice, especially from anyone who has been through something similar. I’m trying to find a practical solution for my children, but I feel like I’m running out of options. Thank you.