Christmas court arrangements CAO

[Kate8934]

Child Arrangements Order- has anyone ever been given every Christmas with child and other parent having boxing day, has been the status quo for 4 years

Also previously other parent put in writing that they agreed thats how it would work until child grown up but now saying different in court and wants Christmas Day swapped?

I believe that courts always have to do what is in the best interest of the child and will usually consult the child in an age appropriate way? Its not about he said she said.

If the other parent wants every other Christmas they will almost definitely get it, sorry

That’s not what the OP asked. She said one parent always having Xmas day and the other parent always having Boxing day.

You can go back and get the agreement changed. Its not fair for one parent to have Xmas day every year. We rotate!

You say the other parent wants it swapped. If, by that, you mean that they want to have every Christmas Day in future, that is unlikely. If they want alternate Christmas Days, there is a good chance they will get that. However, the child's views will be taken into account. How much weight they will carry depends on their age.

When my exh flatly refused me seeing young dc at all Xmas day we had it on the 24th instead.

Was my punishment for daring to leave him.

Ime keeping to the court order when it is eventually done is better for everyone. No swapping at all.
Ime if you accept every other Xmas day he won't even want it..
Will he even know how to do stockings and lunch??

Yes that's exactly it, all about control for him!

He's happily agreed in the past to keep boxing day. While I agree alternate Xmas on the surface might seem fair to him it's not fair to our child and he's only now changing his side in court to hurt me. He won't even wish our child Merry Christmas, has refused video calls on Xmas Day and even when Ive offered half Xmas day each in the past has said no

But why is every other Christmas Day not fair on your child?

One very practical point since you mentioned the other parent previously put the Christmas agreement in writing and is now claiming something different in court: make sure you exhibit that written message trail cleanly for CAFCASS and the magistrates/judge rather than relying on loose phone screenshots.
Family courts and CAFCASS officers strongly prefer a continuous, chronological A4 PDF transcript where dates, times, and sender details are visible in context, rather than cropped screenshots where the other side can argue messages are missing. If the agreement was sent via WhatsApp, iMessage/Google Messages, or Messenger, you can open the chat on a laptop browser and use a Chrome extension called MessageCopy Pro to export the conversation into a clean, chronological, timestamped A4 PDF bundle with page numbers and SHA-256 verification (it runs 100% locally in your browser and includes 25 free messages with no credit card required, which is plenty to export a specific agreement exchange).
Having their exact written words laid out on a single dated A4 page next to your position statement makes it much harder for them to backtrack on what was originally agreed for the children.

That is what she asked though. She's asking if she's likely to be given every Christmas day even if the other parent wants to alternate.

Why is it unfair on your child? Your ex may do Xmas differently to you but that’s ok.
I would imagine and expect both parents to alternate Xmas. We did, I had no issues with it and my daughters remember both houses fondly albeit different

Because our child has always been with me and has autism so is highly sensitive to change.

Some years he's not even bothered to get presents. Imagine that on Christmas morning

I will also add he's always in and out of our child's life anyway, nothing is consistent

Keep a record of his inconsistency. It goes a long way with the courts.

How old is your daughter? They give more weight the child's wishes when they're older.

Has your ex circumstances changed? Like a new partner and or new child?

The fact he agreed before doesn't mean he can't ask for a change. Depending on the age of your child, he could say that it was better for them to be with you but that now he is older and understands Christmas better, he is old enough to swap.

Unless there is a clear reason why it would be detrimental for your son to spend the day with their dad, and autism is unlikely to be a good enough reason if they are indeed used to going and spending overnights with their dad, it's highly likely his request will be granted by the judge.

You think some fathers can’t do stockings or lunch ?

No doesn't currently have overnights, our child is 6