Seeking Legal Advice: Irish Property Dispute, Financial Deception and Controlling Behaviour
I am originally from Ireland but live in England. I would appreciate independent legal advice about a jointly owned property in Ireland, my rights in my current living situation in England, and the financial and emotional impact of a long and difficult family situation. I wish to remain anonymous, so I will not include names, specific locations or financial amounts.
Our family situation
The father of my three children and I have not been in a relationship for several years. We have continued living together because we wanted to raise the children together. As older parents, we hoped sharing a home would provide stability and security for them. However, because of his behaviour and the ongoing difficulties between us, this arrangement is no longer feasible. Social services have also become involved with our family in the context of these difficulties.
Two of our three children have additional needs. Our eldest has severe cerebral palsy, uses a full-time wheelchair and requires extensive care and accessible accommodation. I am increasingly concerned about the impact of our living situation on the children and how I can establish a safe, stable home for them.
The Irish property and financial deception
Before having children, I owned my own home in England. The father of my children told me he owned property in South America, and we discussed selling our respective properties and building a future together. After our eldest daughter was born and suffered a stroke, I eventually discovered during a visit to his country of origin that he had misled me about his property and financial circumstances.
I sold my home because we needed suitable ground-floor accommodation for our daughter, and the intention was to obtain a mortgage together afterwards. Over the years, I lost my career and financial independence while caring for the children.
We later purchased a property in Ireland in joint names, with each of us owning 50%. I had been reluctant to put his name on the title, but my father advised me to consider joint ownership to provide security for the children if anything happened to me. When the solicitor asked how we wanted to divide ownership, I agreed to 50/50 because I believed we were building a future together.
His contribution towards the purchase came from money his sister in South America gave him as a gift. As I understand it, he did not contribute any of his own money.
I have had an informal conversation with a solicitor but want an independent opinion. Could the circumstances in which I agreed to joint ownership, including the financial representations I relied upon, provide legitimate grounds to challenge the arrangement or pursue a separate claim? Could he agree to transfer his interest to me, and what should I understand before considering a settlement?
The pattern of behaviour and our current home
Over the years, I have experienced behaviour that I believe may amount to emotional abuse, manipulation and controlling behaviour. There was also an incident when he slapped me, after which I called the police but ultimately did not pursue the matter. I felt pressured and unsupported at the time.
We currently rent a home in England, and we are both named on the tenancy. Whenever we argue, he repeatedly tells me to leave. However, if I go away for a day or two, he asks my carer when I am coming back and says that if I do not return, he cannot work or pay the bills and I will have to sort them out.
I feel trapped in a cycle where I am told to leave but then made responsible for returning, caring for the children and helping keep the household going. He knows I cannot simply leave the children behind, particularly given their needs.
He pays the rent and household bills. I pay for food and the children's expenses, and I bought the family car outright and continue to pay its insurance and upkeep. The car is used by both of us for the children, particularly for transporting our eldest daughter and her wheelchair.